Stalkers with proposals! :S
On my paper round, there lived a nice old man to whom we, the paper people, gave spare papers and from whom we received gifts such as drawings and tip $$. :D But a while after I had quit, and written to thank him for the pressies, the dude turned slimy and plagued me with phone terrorism for the rest of my days about 2 days! :O
Yoze: "Hello? Hellooooooo???"
[boring small talk, or as we say when yoze is involved, small "talk"]
Guy (75): "............................What if I'm falling in love with you?"
Yoze: "Um... Well?"
Guy: ".............................What if I almost love you?"
Yoze: "Errrrrrrrrr... Pity for you?"
Guy: ".............................I've never met a woman like you."
Yoze: "Aye...?"
Guy: "..............................What if I love you for real?"
Yoze: "I... think I'd better hang up now..."
:P
3 minutes later:
Dad: *picks up* *hangs up* *turns to yoze* "Is he out of his fecking MIND? SNORT!!!"
Yoze: "STALKER! DON'T PICK UP NEXT TIME HE CALLS!"
Phone: *ring* x 304953905630968034968 x 0348539058
Until one day:
Mum: "Oh, I should take this and tell him to leave you alone. Hello? Aren't you married?"
Guy: "It's not what you think! I love your daughter and want to marry her!"
Mum: "Huh huh, but you know, you're too old for her, and anyway she's already got a boyfriend!"
Guy: *calls no more, possibly due to suicide*
Mum: "I told him he was too old for you, Yoze!"
Yoze: "Just don't tell Alan the same if he calls...! Oh, and what of this BOYFRIEND shite?! The only reason to leave a woman in peace is that one might otherwise get beaten to a green spot by her aggressively jealous BOYFRIEND?!"
Hope not judges of rape cases & the like think that way... "But you were single at the time! Why couldn't he have a roll in the hay with you? It ain't like you had any vows to break! WHAT?! You don't want to do it with any one, any time? *scratch scratch* Little madam, I know you're just enjoying the attention and -"
[COURT MAYHEM WITH MUCH BLOODSHED]
Mum: "Gawd! I know, I was just trying to get rid of him quickly. But you know... I bet he's RICH!"
Yoze: "Gold-diggah! AN EXCELLENT MATCH, FOR HE'S RICH AND SHE'S FUNNY-LOOKING!"
Gran, weeks later: "He phone-stalked you? Oh, you had probably encouraged him by flirting, eh?! Hihihihihihi!"
Yoze: "I just cannot seem to reach a moderate, appropriate level of CIVILITY..."
Yoze: "Hello? Hellooooooo???"
[boring small talk, or as we say when yoze is involved, small "talk"]
Guy (75): "............................What if I'm falling in love with you?"
Yoze: "Um... Well?"
Guy: ".............................What if I almost love you?"
Yoze: "Errrrrrrrrr... Pity for you?"
Guy: ".............................I've never met a woman like you."
Yoze: "Aye...?"
Guy: "..............................What if I love you for real?"
Yoze: "I... think I'd better hang up now..."
:P
3 minutes later:
Dad: *picks up* *hangs up* *turns to yoze* "Is he out of his fecking MIND? SNORT!!!"
Yoze: "STALKER! DON'T PICK UP NEXT TIME HE CALLS!"
Phone: *ring* x 304953905630968034968 x 0348539058
Until one day:
Mum: "Oh, I should take this and tell him to leave you alone. Hello? Aren't you married?"
Guy: "It's not what you think! I love your daughter and want to marry her!"
Mum: "Huh huh, but you know, you're too old for her, and anyway she's already got a boyfriend!"
Guy: *calls no more, possibly due to suicide*
Mum: "I told him he was too old for you, Yoze!"
Yoze: "Just don't tell Alan the same if he calls...! Oh, and what of this BOYFRIEND shite?! The only reason to leave a woman in peace is that one might otherwise get beaten to a green spot by her aggressively jealous BOYFRIEND?!"
Hope not judges of rape cases & the like think that way... "But you were single at the time! Why couldn't he have a roll in the hay with you? It ain't like you had any vows to break! WHAT?! You don't want to do it with any one, any time? *scratch scratch* Little madam, I know you're just enjoying the attention and -"
[COURT MAYHEM WITH MUCH BLOODSHED]
Mum: "Gawd! I know, I was just trying to get rid of him quickly. But you know... I bet he's RICH!"
Yoze: "Gold-diggah! AN EXCELLENT MATCH, FOR HE'S RICH AND SHE'S FUNNY-LOOKING!"
Gran, weeks later: "He phone-stalked you? Oh, you had probably encouraged him by flirting, eh?! Hihihihihihi!"
Yoze: "I just cannot seem to reach a moderate, appropriate level of CIVILITY..."
Labels: work
posted by Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze | 17:44
2 Comments:
I had a stalker once... Lost my temper when drunk and kicked him in the kidneys. That worked too.
Take care!
apropriate lvls of civility is hard ;) yey for wow since the irish and scottish play and they have no lvl of civility :D
ive learnt soooo many new words for gentialia its silly, and the only one caling me a flirt is another swedish gal (i think she's yellous) *snicker*
Mel you silly gal its the nuts not the kidneys you should be aiming for ;) (and being drunk is bad *waves finger* makes you do stuid thinks *remembers first kiss with horror*)
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