May Bob have mercy on our dirty little hearts.

Wow. Nobody can discover Nine Inch Nails later than I did.

Not my fave... band? ever ever ever, but I found it like this... Something like this:

~Around friggin 1997 I read an ole entertainment mag featuring a list that was pooooooossibly titled "How to scare grandma away". One of the tips was "Play Nine Inch Nails. Especially the song -" WHAT SONG DID THEY RECOMMEND, if any?! :) Closer, perhaps? Well. I had never heard (of) Nine Inch Nails, but remembered the name for eternity as it gave me a vision of curled, filthy, world-record-long finger nails. Scratching chalkboards and silken skin. Uhu! And seeing how they were recommended in this way, I figured it must be the most evil, badass, noisy band in the universe. Good to know - in 1997 I was concocting a cunning plan on how to scare realtors and would-be buyers from our lovely rental summer house. :) It involved presenting a spotless room to my anxious folks on inspection, and whipping up a post-apocalyptic room to show the buyers 10 minutes later. I made a drawing describing the method. (Display a frightening road sign on the wall, spill substances on the floor, etc.) It was not at all the most exquisite picture ever produced. And it is gone. Somewhere. :C *weep* Hehe, the above wasn't that important. Good times though. (The plan was never realised and the house was sold.) But I wonder if Nine Inch Nails was streaming from the drawing's portable CD player? Maybe not... I knew no lyrics after all. And we listened mostly to E-Type that summer. Badass. How annoying, I SHOULD have checked out Nine Inch Nails that very autumn! XC Once I had read that list it WAS, officially or not, on my list of bands to check out briefly before my death, even though I hardly expected to enjoy... the noise. But there were other artists, more interesting... *shuddering sob*

~2003 brought sweet RICKMANIA. On IMDB:s Alan forum the Snape fans were going and going and going and going and going and going on about some Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails (or so it feels). Aha, that scary band. Well, I suppose I clicked on some picture link to see what I thought about their comparisons between him and Snape. "Maybe a bit." :/ I clicked Back and forgot. Nowadays: "Icarenotifheisamericangobackto1994thento2006-andsmuggletheboyintosnapesworstmemoryscenedammit!"

~In the summer of 2005 I had figured out how to record things from the TV to my beloved DVD recorder, so I kept MTV on and without food or sleep I waited for my fave videos to pop up so that I could make a nice DVD version of old times' MTV tapes. A video I did not care to deev was... (this must have been in 2005, right?) Only by Nine Inch Nails. And that is the only Nine Inch Nails song I remember being played on anything I listened to or watched... :( So I listened. "That doesn't sound like the most badass band in the universe. Sounds kinda normal. Can't get a good look at the pin-creature though." He sounded older than I had imagined. Had I imagined anything? In any case... That was not the worst voice I had heard, I noted in the back of me head and moved on with my life. If only I had not...

~In 2006, I was too busy worrying about something all through the summer job hunting season, maybe that's why I had to make do with the paper gnome mission... :)

~...without which I might not have landed THIS year's district. (And if I had been jolly and normal, I might have found another job.) The paper gnome gets a few papers of her own each day, if she does the job right. On August 7, 2007, I was browsing backwards through the entertainment section of each paper as usual and spotted (in a paper I wouldn't have read but for my gnome job) some boring headline saying... nothing about Nine Inch Nails or the Reznor bloke, but it was an interview with him, I noticed. Thought I'd read it. I did. Wooooooooooo!

Ratexla's diary: "He seems nice and his new record seems cool. I should check. It's called Year zero."
Interviewer, magically calling from the page: "Did you know they're playing in Stockholm tonight?! :D"
Ratexla: "Whatever. Wonder if I'm gonna fall in love with Trent. His singing WAS pretty nice, and here he complains about people who think global warming is a myth. Is it hot in here or is it just Trent?"

I considered the matter for a few days, ordered the CD, survived the death-plunging and returned home to the newly arrived Year zero. Late, so I soon hopped into bed and hit Play.

Year zero: *BOINK BZZZZZZZZZZZ SCREEEEEECH*
Ratexla: "Oh... fuck, the sound of dustbins rolling downhill. It was to be expected. I doubt I can get used to this, but the idea was cool nevertheless, so I had to check. Tomorrow I will read the interesting, inaudible lyrics, prolly put the CD on the shelf forever, or sell it, and be happy for the experience." *CRASH*

The next day I did read all the lyrics and was awaaaaaaake during the last 2 songs - In this twilight and Zero-sum, both of which I liked instantly. :)

Ratexla: "I will at least listen to THESE again!" *goes trentsurfing*
Fan on forum: "I had to listen to Year zero a few times before I could like it..."
Ratexla: "Def more chances for you, little CD..."
Site-owning fan: "Nine Inch Nails is not everyone's cuppa, but if you are meant to be a fan, you will find your way to it..."
Ratexla: "Beautiful."

By nightfall, I didn't find it too bad, even musically, AND I was tolerably high on crush drug. :) After a coupla days, several songs were brain-splattingly listenable. Steel in the night, down the road from Terminator 2... (Oh, today yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the start of THAT war, innit. :O ) Flicking a raven feather to tickle my apocalyptic fancies. When I lie dying of radiation sickness, perhaps I can pull the CD booklet out of my torn, burned pocket and read a little, unless the nuclear blast has skinned me like a cat.

2 days after Year zero I was ready to drill my way through the Himalayas with a toothbrush to go and get the first album. I just took the bus though.

Ratexla: "Severus...?"

2 days later I got the famous The downward spiral, and unless postal service fucks up with The fragile, that's on its way... :) Thereafter I shall no longer be confined to merely standing around record shops, caressing, sniffing, licking, biting, sucking, hugging and ogling With teeth, nooooooo... :9 Damn, now I've hyped it for myself. :p And it will turn out to be one of them things that feature 2 LOVELY HIT SONGS plus x rotting shrimp corpses.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease come back to somewhere near me... soon... I must see Nine Inch Nails live before I die. (Or after, if necessary. Though in the latter case I would lack vision.) By still refusing to abbreviate the name I am vainly trying to make up for the partly lost years since I came to know it. :p Not only concerts were missed... During my Trentsurfing I found a group huddled in a forum thread, speaking of how Nine Inch Nails had been like a friend to them in their lives as outcasts. 1997-1998! I was blissfully ignorant of many things that now drive me off 99th floor window ledges... But I was never more... decidedly depressed or... intensely, continuously suicidal. I lived, as you can see. Undiagnosed, not super-serious, got up in the mornings, never fingered razorblades (uh... I had none, and I'd prefer pills), and was probably worried about being so abnormal and ugly and bloke-less, or about my shortage of friends. Friends like Nine Inch Nails? :B

Into the very bowels of Death I plunged!

But that's not all I did, this summer.

SUMMER CHRONICLE OF 2007!

I:

+Visited a wee but kickarse and überpopular veg*ism fair in Stockholm and gained 60 kg
+Moved back in with dear old Webshots
+Celebrated me Nick's 45th b-day wildly!
+Hung around the HP5 gala premiere in London!
+Hung around the HP5 gala premiere in OMG GOTHENBURG!
+Saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
+Listened to ALAN reading The return of the native by Thomas Hardy. :D It lasted all summer!
+Read Dracula by Bram Stoker
+Read Sagan om Isfolket: Trollbunden by Margit Sandemo
+Read Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
+Read Bröderna Lejonhjärta by Astrid Lindgren
+Read Mio, min Mio by Astrid Lindgren
+Read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling
+Read Män som hatar kvinnor by Stieg Larsson
+Read HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS BY JK ROWLING!
+Read Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
+Started reading Collapse by Jared Diamond
+Waited outside Justin Timberlake's hotel even though I don't listen to him. I think I saw him, but he was too quick for a picture.
+Waited outside The Rolling Stones' hotel even though I don't listen to them. I think I saw... *opens encyclopedia* ...Charlie Watts, but he was too quick for a picture. Oh, and the rest of them snuck out the back door to punish us infidels who hadn't bothered to get concert tix. :B
+Found me an apparently raaaaaare CD which I got as an LP in 1990 or 1991 (my 2nd or 3rd record ever...) but which I haven't listened to since the mid-90's and which I had been looking for since 2004 - Scandalo by Gianna Nannini :)
+Did that death-plunging. Aye. Very flashy. See, a zoo thingy (relatively good one) that cooperates with my uni program were a few guides short and they e-mailed my entire class, begging for our divine services which we had practised there this spring. I suppose everyone else was away = at home, or working in other flashy relevant jobs they could keep forever. But my paper round had just died on me, so I had no excuse... to tell the guide-hunter, or myself. :p I dug up my old guide material, neglected my summer book and hopped on the bus. Originally I was going to take 3 - THREE! - groups round the park, but it was cut down to 2. Some kinda relief. My employer seemed to think I was devastated about this. :B Well, I survived the guiding for now, barely. At least I got ADULTS. To make my stay (which included 1 hostel night, mmm) more worthwhile, I was kindly given some extra random work behind the scenes. I got to pick sticks and other debris out of an empty enclosure. Ahhh. It all added up to 2 full work days... :) Soooooo, from now on, when I rot among the live honey-dipped baby mice in the emperor's kitchen, or wherever I get to work post uni, I will FOREVER be able to say that ONCE IN MY LIFE I HELD A JOB WHICH HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY EDUCATION! XD Now... let's just FINISH UNI... *GULP*
+Got rid of my evil bro at last. Well, it was actually his idea to move out, but he said it was partly thanks to me as I "talk too much about Harry Potter." Hmmmmmmmmmm? :D
+Discovered Nine Inch Nails. See tomorrow's separate dissertation on the development of my little obsession. :D
+Got yet another paper district, now to be tamed each Sunday for all eternity! Wee! Or until I move. (I NEVER MENTION MOVING OUT, DO I?!) Almost next to the last one, and bigger. Walking, of course. Not too hilly, so I may survive the winter.

18000 papers + 5 photo sites - 1 bro

I recently called the paper boss, whom I had never met (aye, I have had 3 jobs but only one I got after an actual INTERVIEW and that may never happen again, eh), just to hear when I could pick up the equipment. She then offered me about 30 extra work days because the regular guy is ill and not likely to return before his vacation! So I'm gonna work June 11 to August 12... One of me two training nights was last night. In several of the streets, the order of the house numbers seems abnormal/illogical and of course there are loads of people who believe in psychic paper girls so they do not bother to mark their house or mailbox. Or indeed dig the box out from inside their 4 m thick hedge.

Each year there is a little MARK YER GAWDDAMN MAILBOX FOR THE PAPER SUB'S SAKE!!! campaign in the... paper.

WELL, at least this year no petrol will be wasted while I run around looking for unmarked, invisible mailboxes. Indeed, cryptic boxes (at least in a walking district) may be environmentally beneficient: I fail to find the subscriber - the paper is delivered by someone knowledgeable later in the day to a 50x higher cost (that requires some petrol, I grant you) - paper price rises - subscriber unsubscribes (due to this or because they are pissed about the late papers) - forest is spared. :D Do not give me the shite about how much "forest" there is in Sweden, btw. :p

Useful shit to come out of my ~60 paper girlin days 2007:
~Savings + interest, which can for a time keep me under a roof when I get fired from my, uh, future real job, so that I can take regular showers, look presentable and thus stand a chance of getting a new job that one can't get while looking like a bum
~Rain forest
~Othello...?
~...and some greenhouse gas-offsetting
~An extra external hard drive - the comp is full so I can't keep 2 copies of every file, with 2 external drives I can do backup and send one hard drive to live across town, in case our house gets bombed or summat

********************************************

A story of all my fiery relationships... with photo sharing sites.

2001: Webshots. My first... photo sharing service. After a few years, free accounts became very small. So... maybe I created multiple accounts. AHEM. Went on to cry into my pillow. Not.

2004: Fotango. I had seen a few pix online marked Fotango, so I checked them out and made use of their service. I remember but little, however, a feeling of ugliness lingers. I do not much care for the look of a site if the usage is smooth. This was not.

2004: Ofoto, later turned Kodak Gallery. Oh, what a wonderful site, comparatively. Unlimited space! The pix were shrunken to 448 pixels at the most, but that was all right, that's about the size of a normal paper photo after all. It was tricky to find the url that would allow anyone to actually see a public album without having to log in, and every time I forgot how to do it, I sent Ofoto pissed e-mails. I always found the correct way 4 s later. Eventually I learned. And the gallery decided that one had to buy pix at least once a year not to get thrown out. Reasonable... while one lives. But if Homo sapiens has to exist until 2063, it would at least be neat if my pix might stay online until the apocalypse.

2006: Yahoo Photos. We were perfect together. *cries in beach sunset* :/ Unlimited space, for free, neat, smooth, easy. Until, after less than a year of wild passion, they announced that they would close down in the autumn of 2007. I wasn't planning to seek out another photo site after the death of Yahoo Photos, as it was too time-consuming to browse for all the pix in each category (they are sorted by date) and neating up titles, captions and dates in the online albums... all the fucking time.

2007: Winkflash. A short fling with a sad ending. It had unlimited free space, they even kindly pointed out that one would not be forced to buy prints. It was impossible to rearrange the pix or link to individual ones. But at least anyone could view the public albums. I thought. That is kind of a common trait among PUBLIC ALBUMS. Until I discovered that a coupla people could not, so I e-mailed Winkflash about this bug. Which it wasn't. "Your guests only need to complete a simple registration process." Yeah, people LOVE that and will wet themselves over you and JOIN JOIN JOIN rather than surf on. I told them I would have to look for another photo site and slammed the door, believing myself to have given up. :p

2007: Webshots. By chance I found that the Webshots policy had been altered. "Uh, why does it say that this account can swallow 5800 pix, did it not use to be 3000 summat?" Now, one starts at 1000 pix but is given space for an additional 100 for every month of membership! I can live with that! :D I have gone back to Webshots. I waste no time typing every title and such, just make sure the files are already properly named on the hard drive... And as it happens, I've also made a list to help me find every photo from each category in the comp. So all I've got to do in the future is upload shit. Quickly. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I also used to think the new design of Webshots was weird, but it's mostly just smooth. :9 I hope they "never" die or change their rules. :D

********************************

My bro is moving out. YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!! To the ghetto, which is lush. It's famously impossible to find flats in Gothenburg, and he said he had applied for 100s, but apparently it still only took 3 weeks and no one else seemed interested in this one. I hope it won't take me 50 years. :C I can settle for anything... with 1 bedroom, the right rent, near good public transport, hopefully not behind the puke-stinkin refinery... My bro got all this, on the very edge of town, near a beloved creek. The moment I get a permanent job after school I will be all over every suitable wee flat on The Great Almighty Flat Site... :p

Wee job + Ewan + The return of the native + photos

Today marks 3 YEARS since I "met" ALAN... :D And 34 days from now I will be back behind the barricades at LEICESTER SQUARE! I wonder if Alan will attend, however, cuz I hear he's doing some wine movie in Cali "this summer".

But yesterday was also goody-good-good:

1. Somebody rang. Twas for me. They said they were the paper people. I dropped dead, for I had been told that any negative answer to my paper girl application would arrive by mail. :D

Woman: "...Soooooo, we've got a car district for you [10 km away]! :D"
Yozeheart: *floorsplat*
Yoze: "Er... I'm afraid I was mostly after a walking district, cuz I won't have as much access to the car this year." (The car is going to Norway for 1 week - like last year, when I got time off, so I didn't want to ask this time, and anyway, my folks didn't like the car-manhandling, the car didn't like carrying around papers *SCREECH* *BURN* *BANG*, and I think my knee didn't like to hit the pedals 400 times a day (3 s after I quit, the car went to the shop and the pedals became MUCH easier to move...), and I didn't like casting a shadow of death on wheels & cats. I didn't say all that though, sounds whiny and picky. (As it is, I sound more like I have irresponsibly lost me license.) Oh, and a few people could probably have walked around my 30 km ex-district and saved some petrol. Not that they won't find drivers now, I'm just sayin.)
Woman: "Oh! We can probably fix THAT! [YOU get to pick & choose between our 6000000 districts FIRST OF ALL cuz WE WANT YOU!]"
Yozeheart: *PING!*
Woman: "Lessee, there IS a walking district [1 km away], July 16 to August 11, and could you do 2 additional Sundays before then? Then I think it would be best if you trained with the Sunday girl twice before that. [Training = pay :) ] I shall mail you all the info."
Yoze: "THAT'S FUCKING FABULOUS!" (I did not say.)
Woman: "Btw, I see now that the Sunday girl wanted to be on holiday until... Hmm, could you do August 12 as well?"
Yoze: "SQUEE!"

Not loads of hours of course... But I will get freedom (from visible customers & long days), EXERCISE!, roedeer sightings, references, cat encounters AND money. Hehe, paid to take morning walks thru a cute neighbourhood and the heavy floral scents welling out of nightly gardens. I don't think my feet like 2 h walks, but it's been done before. Deal with it, feet.

I'll try to bring the ole CD walkman.

This autumn I will of course ask again at that book shop. Whimper! Among other things. Most likely I will not get it, but maybe a paper district... The lady who rang said they had better give me my own cart and such "because that would be simplest if you won't see the weekday person... And maybe you would get a reason to keep the stuff..." Hehe. A Sunday morning job, mmm... Only 2-3 hours a week, SO ONE HAS TIME TO STUDY OR SUMMAT, but the pay ain't horrible.

Also good for filling out whatever shit salary I will get post-uni, if I get a hatable real job (40 h/week) then.

2. The old ER ep starring Ewan aired! I knew, and deeved it. He was fab. (As he will be in OTHELLO, played on a London stage from DECEMBER TO FEBRUARY, so it may coincide with the London premiere of SWEENEY TODD, which of course stars ALAN and SACHA, and I would not hate to see JOHNNY either, which is quite possible now that I have secured some INCOME... *COUGH* Uhhhh, I want me winter schedule.)

3. My audiobook arrived - The return of the native by Thomas Hardy, read by ALAN. 15 h 45 min of THE VOICE! ON CD, AT LAST! I will save the sweet shit for summer = after June 1. Or 2. I took my bike and picked it up near MY NEW DISTRICT, which I'm not very familiar with, so I rode in there and said hello to all my new mailboxes. Soon you will be MINE, ONLY MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! I hope the box/house numbering is better than it seemed.

4. Someone contacted me about horsie pix, she will possibly pay for some.

Harry Potter & summer jobs

There is finally time to read proper books without feeling the homework's hot breath down my neck. So I recently licked up Order of the Phoenix, to freshen it up before the movie, and to get into the story before I reread Half-blood Prince, so that I can be in the right mood when Deathly Hallows arrives... :D And -
a) I kind of wish they wouldn't release movie 5 and book 7 so close together. Joy, like sunflower spread, is at least as good when... well, spread out. :p
b) Order is not my fave HP book, but now I can't wait for the feckin film. Feck. Bits I look forward to the most:
-Snape
-Puppy-Snape
-Lucius
-Lupin
-Thestrals :D
-Umbridge
-The trio
-Luna
-The kiss

*sleeps till then*

~*~

I still have no summer job. LOSER!!! Interviews done:
-Er, restaurant. ("We'll keep your application.")
-Another, er, restaurant of the same chain. ("I just wanted to make it clear that you did not get selected.")
-Big grocery shop ("I haven't got a job for you at the moment but I'd like to keep your application.")
-Wee grocery shop ("We found so many ex-employees. Yes, some other time, maybe.")
-Book shop *whimper* ("We chose this guy... But then there is autumn and Xmas, I'm saving your application here.")
-Universeum (Great flashy attractive science centre with whose chief of staff my dad is acquainted - I want any job there but this was about a guide job! The mere interview invitation feels flashy. :) *frames printed e-mail* "I don't believe you would complete the group at this time, but you are welcome to try again." I now have license to nag at them 2008-2047.)

Interviews spoken of but yet to be conducted/booked:
-Paper girl!
-Standing around town, handing out free morning papers (Sounds cosy enough, but too easy to be flashy)

If I don't get a proper job, the alternatives are:
-I hope I can do some voluntary work 120 km up north, except I'm not sure there would be anywhere affordable to stay. But it's possible. And flashy.
-Sell CD's crammed with photos from equestrian events. I might earn like 20 SEK.
-Intensify my shooting of showjumpers and the advertising about it.
-Dog-walking.
-[CENSORED] (Nuthin criminal.)

Stalkers with proposals! :S

On my paper round, there lived a nice old man to whom we, the paper people, gave spare papers and from whom we received gifts such as drawings and tip $$. :D But a while after I had quit, and written to thank him for the pressies, the dude turned slimy and plagued me with phone terrorism for the rest of my days about 2 days! :O

Yoze: "Hello? Hellooooooo???"
[boring small talk, or as we say when yoze is involved, small "talk"]
Guy (75): "............................What if I'm falling in love with you?"
Yoze: "Um... Well?"
Guy: ".............................What if I almost love you?"
Yoze: "Errrrrrrrrr... Pity for you?"
Guy: ".............................I've never met a woman like you."
Yoze: "Aye...?"
Guy: "..............................What if I love you for real?"
Yoze: "I... think I'd better hang up now..."

:P

3 minutes later:
Dad: *picks up* *hangs up* *turns to yoze* "Is he out of his fecking MIND? SNORT!!!"
Yoze: "STALKER! DON'T PICK UP NEXT TIME HE CALLS!"

Phone: *ring* x 304953905630968034968 x 0348539058

Until one day:
Mum: "Oh, I should take this and tell him to leave you alone. Hello? Aren't you married?"
Guy: "It's not what you think! I love your daughter and want to marry her!"
Mum: "Huh huh, but you know, you're too old for her, and anyway she's already got a boyfriend!"

Guy: *calls no more, possibly due to suicide*

Mum: "I told him he was too old for you, Yoze!"
Yoze: "Just don't tell Alan the same if he calls...! Oh, and what of this BOYFRIEND shite?! The only reason to leave a woman in peace is that one might otherwise get beaten to a green spot by her aggressively jealous BOYFRIEND?!"

Hope not judges of rape cases & the like think that way... "But you were single at the time! Why couldn't he have a roll in the hay with you? It ain't like you had any vows to break! WHAT?! You don't want to do it with any one, any time? *scratch scratch* Little madam, I know you're just enjoying the attention and -"
[COURT MAYHEM WITH MUCH BLOODSHED]

Mum: "Gawd! I know, I was just trying to get rid of him quickly. But you know... I bet he's RICH!"
Yoze: "Gold-diggah! AN EXCELLENT MATCH, FOR HE'S RICH AND SHE'S FUNNY-LOOKING!"

Gran, weeks later: "He phone-stalked you? Oh, you had probably encouraged him by flirting, eh?! Hihihihihihi!"
Yoze: "I just cannot seem to reach a moderate, appropriate level of CIVILITY..."

Incredibly Great Summer 2006 Accomplishments

I did one o' these chronicles for the summer of 2004 too... So I'm gonna steal the idea from myself once more. WTF did I get "done"? (Oh, and does "chronicle" imply "chronological order"? HAHAHAHA! XD )

~Bought a new Canon cam, 6 Mpixels instead of 2!
~Shot horses at jumping competitions... AYE, CAM!
~Bought light little trainers
~Shot insects
~Edited 47524520485206820968204682056 photos
~Shot horses at mounted games competitions
~Made poor online insect album
~Online:d some of my old diaries
~Read An awfully big adventure by Beryl Bainbridge
~Read Horse heaven by Jane Smiley
~Read Moby Dick by Herman Melville
~Read Go ask Alice by anonymous author (Best book on this list)
~Read The tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë
~Read Ryttare: Tommy Nilsson by Martin Lund
~Read Lady Chatterley's lover by D.H. Lawrence
~Read Naiv. Super. by Erlend Loe
~Read Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
~Read About a boy by Nick Hornby
~Read To build a fire by Jack London
~Read Holy smoke by Anna & Jane Campion (Worst book on this list)
~Read The picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
~Found effective, aluminium-free, vegan, non-animal tested deodorant *COUGH* Aroma Creme from Lush *COUGH*
~Visited Bohuslän
~Visited Tallinn, Estonia
~Visited Norway
~Celebrated Nick Lea's b-day...
~...by starting on Diary 30, the pwettiest ever, designed by Lo! (:B
~Saw The da Vinci code
~Saw Tristan & Isolde
~Sang with Robbie, and some other people
~Saw Ronan Keating live at the opening ceremony of the Euro-champs stuff :p
~Was an extra in the movie Mustafa/Massimo for one day = several scenes :D which earned me 100 SEK and possibly a place in art history (:B
~Raced around with thousands of morning papers
~Ate more fibre
~Visited Glasgow, Edinburgh & Stirling, Scotland. :B Monkeys just got updated... :p

I stayed at the Euro Hostel in Glasgow which was neat, once I had figured out that the showers actually COULD produce water above the temperature of a genuine autumn Highland loch! :9

On the first day I went for a getting-lost walk and got lost in the ghetto. I only saw 2 streets in that city worth visiting (for over-shopping, of course)... and the lovely Necropolis... and maybe the cathedral. All this could be done in one day, so I no longer see the point of Glasgow. Except it's where the planes land, and one might want to revisit Necropolis (massive romantic graveyard on hill!) in a more romantic ghostly light than friendly morning sun. :q

Perhaps the point of Glasgow would be clearer to me if I had ever bothered to sniff out the famous West End, which was off my map :O but I didn't.

I had already decided to take some bus to Edinburgh and worship Greyfriars Bobby and stalk Alan, who probably left town very soon after the Snowcake premiere. Even though My name is Rachel Corrie now ran, which was why I could hope... But I didn't see him anywhere... near the theatre... :B or anywhere else! But I did find Bobby's statue, *sniff* his grave, *BAWL* a miniature statue to take home, *finger* and Bobby's Bar, *slurp* where I imbibed a goblet of Spriteandlemonwithice. Since ~1998 I have dreamed of brooding in a wee brown Scottish pub. Of living in a whisky ad. :B

I happened to know Simple Minds would play in Edinburgh that day, but for various reasons I didn't go... Maybe I should have... I had even brought ear plugs "just in case I stumble over a Texas concert or summat"! I saw the stage in a park... from the bus back to Glasgow. D'oh! I missed a free concert they gave in Gothenburg only weeks ago. Mrrrr. Not that I've heard much of their music... But I will, hehe.

The buses from Edinburgh to Glasgow departed every 10 minutes, it seemed, which is bizarrely more often than the buses go from my home to the damn mall. Or anything. :p

On post-Edinburgh day and my last day of Scotland (I spent the last night at the airport, hehe) I had indeed planned to sniff out the West End or at least relax in the Botanic Gardens or summat, but I felt the smooth bus net calling once more. I checked the map for a hilly, close-by, neat place to go, and Stirling seemed to fit. I went there, crossed half the town (or, more probably, loads LESS), map-free, and suddenly the town ended and I had a free view of... the gate to the Highlands, as I later read in the guide book. I shot the Highlands with as many adorable sun-spots as possible, and went a little closer to the Wallace monument.

GUESS WHAT, under normal circumstances I would be soooo anxious to watch Braveheart right now... Well, I am... but I know how DISTURBED I would be every time ye-know-who came on screen... now. *POW* Anyone able to fit my DVD player with a de-Mel-iser? Wonder if he's going to apologise and mean it? +O~~~

*runs finger down back of yummy trainspotting dvd case... and harry pottah will also come in handy*

Paper-girlin

Now, my children, I shall tell you all about one's life as a morning paper-girl driving someone else's car in a famously big district.

They called me up on July 3, just as I had started to find inner peace about not having a summer job in 2006 either even though I tried this year, lazy-looking bahstahd, and offered me a large district close to my home, though I had never seen any of the streets in my life. July 24 - August 26. It would, sadly, require a car, to which I had claimed to have access. Aye. I asked my dad again before accepting, he said I might use it, and the thing was settled. :D

A couple of days later dad realised that it was a car district, not just a place so far away that I would need the car to get there. :p Haha, too late for him to take back his promise. Forgive us, car.

I went to an info meeting, rode with the regular paper-girl for two days and drove around the streets myself as many times. She shares the district with another person, I don't! :p

Regular paper-girl: "...so I'm just waiting to find a hole in my exhaust pipe from all these curbs. You drive that big Volvo, no? Not as easy to turn as this little car, I suppose... and Volvos have such low chassis too."
Yoze: "Ehehehe... oh yeah? It's not my car, either."
Regular paper-girl: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

:S

On my first day the papers were dumped late, and I was missing 3 bunches. Ouch. Had to pick them up later. I was at it from 3.30 to... somewhere near 8 that day. All the papers are supposed to be delivered at 6. This rarely happens even on the best of days, since I'm COUGH alone COUGH. :p

On the 3rd day or so on my own, I was at least starting to learn behind which bush every friggin letterbox was hidden, so I didn't have to get out/reverse as much as on the first day. However, there is still a LOT of UNNECESSARY getting out of the car to do. Evil subscribers place their letterboxes 4000 km from the street (when in most cases they could put them within reach of the car window). This is not easy on my:

~Planet (killing the engine is rarely worthwhile)
~Transmission
~Car door
~Customers' neighbours' sleep (for reason, see above point - but I suppose the Evil Subscribers really desire to be awakened by flapping car doors)
~Left elbow (which gets torn outta joint every time I close the door, now, so I've started closing this left door with my right hand, yup)
~Customers down-district (whose paper gets delayed, which probably gets blamed on GUESS WHOM!)

The evilness of Evil Subscribers (OK, some of whom are probably just thoughtless, but then, how come so many of them got through med school, judging from their med mag subscriptions? Hey, maybe they want to treat our elbows) is brilliantly illustrated by a story that Regular Paper-Girl told me on my first training day. The people on [CENSORED] [CENSORED] Street have placed a row of skull-sized white rocks sufficiently far outside their letterbox to prevent our cars getting near it. Those rocks must be REALLY GREAT IN THE SNOW! *SCREEEEEEEEEECH* *BOINK* The subscriber had the rock problem/s pointed out to him by our employer. Would he move a few rocks so the paper people wouldn't have to get out of the car? His reply was:

"Some lazy paper-girls you've got!"

8O~

OK, they've glued my exploded head back together now. One day I will calculate how many % of the letterboxes can't (easily) be reached from the car...

Anyway, I'm so never going to accept another car district... :p At least not more than once a week or summat. But next summer I'm sooooooo gonna ask if they need someone for a walking-district. That would be sweeeeeeeeeeeet! *sniffs sweet summer night air & roedeer*

A few more scary bits of the job are:

~The number of wheels I have damaged severely. (2)
~The potential amount of CATS I MIGHT SERIOUSLY... MASH! :O They've seemed afraid enough of the car so far. *rhyme* PHEW... KNOCK ON WOOD, TWO MORE DAYS... I can't drive slowly either! This morning, for example, I was in Cat Mash Mode and it took me pretty much exactly 3 hours, now that all the subscribers are back from their holidays, which meant I couldn't hand out all the papers before the magical 6am. Death.

To make things better, or not, my salary arrived today! :B It was much better than I thought, too... Mmm, hey, rainforests & London...

~*~

Tomorrow, I depart. Not for London. But for GLASGOW! Alone in a completetly strange place. I TOLD YA! The sun trips turned out to be more expensive than I thought, but I had to go somewhere... besides Norway... especially now that I had told everyone I was going away alone, little cheeky bahstahd.

I'm young & I need the money!

I have finally found a job for the rest of the summer. Late at night I get up and drive to my district, where I slowly stalk the edges of the rich people's murky streets, searching far and wide for my customers. There are over 300 of them at the moment. Every night! (Except the holy Sundays.) I do my best to satisfy them, even if it means distorting my own body in the process. And sometimes the slot can be a wee bit tight! But the only thing to do is keep jamming the thick buggers in, and move on. Afterwards I'm covered in sweat and whatever other fluids have landed on my skin. I clean up after myself, drive home, and wash off as much filth as I can.

~*~

I DELIVER THE MORNING PAPER! :O

OMFG, it's June

It surprises me every time...

I just wrote the last exam before summer, it was all inzects (must stop evil murderous Adsense on this topic by spelling mistake), some of which we'd been running around looking at during the last coupla weeks. We spent a week on da eastside, whose inzect fauna is more... famous. The teacher almost died over the fancy inzects we (...) found there. I had got my shit together and brought an ole family macro lens. And my dad's 4 Mpixel camera. :D Some of the fab photos were used in the teacher's presentation one evening and many of our blown-up inzects had the class gasping and fainting and clutching their feeble hearts. :9 I had never used the macro lens before but now I shall reveal all! In a blurry way! :p

Other thrilling events on da eastside:

I learned 1 great new expression. "In copula." *overuses severely*

I was smooched by 2 ticks, but got them out with my bare fingers before they grew to melon-size. Why, that makes my total life tick score 4. Maybe eastside ticks LIKE me, unlike other... ticks... Or all the world's arthropods just collect there since it's so warm and sunny and all...

Think I got 28/30 points today... Only 27/30 points for the bird/mammal exam! :P

No real summer job in sight. Well, I did spend a great part of the job hunting season suspecting I was dying. :C How annoying that I wasn't. But I can lead a Penniless Existence... except for Monday, when I bought a new cam... (My old 2 Mpixels will not do, and dad got tired of my meddling with his cam. This one has 6 Mpixels, an unecessarily huge display, half the amount of batteries, and tiny little microscopic wee buttons that need to be pressed with a needle.) ...ahem, and today, when US dollars were so weak that it seemed stupid not to send The Nature Conservancy a lil something... :B

I have become a faithful user of the auction site Tradera though. At the mo I'm auctioning out 102 horsie pics on a CD. (Cheap to make, but easy for idiots to copy and spread all over, which is against them rulez I have set.) Someone has offered 9 SEK for it so far. :) Er, woohoo.

Also, I have put up an online note offering my cool dog-walking skillz in my area this summer. That is such a 13-year-old-job... but it would be sweet!

I'm off to start reading An awfully big adventure! And soothe my throat with strawberries! Maybe look for some library books in English, and decent trainers... Mum hates my black boots so much that she says she'll pay for trainers. Hehe, one good thing about her superficiality. Later I will go and see The da Vinci code in the Nice Cinema, where I have booked their last seat with extra room for me legs!