Ratexla's poetry 1998-2007

Yeah, well... YOU'RE UGLY!!!!!!!!!!11

Maple signs
A maple leaf fell on me
I took it as a sign

I woke up in a pile of maple leaves
and took it as a sign

A huge maple tree fell over me
and crushed me

I died happy

Eating on air
I turned my TV on
There was a program about cannibals

I switched the channel
to see a snake eat a rat

And then I watched a scene in Patient X
You and some bitch were in it, btw

Illogic
1 planet
2 languages
1 ratgirl
21 years
2 continents
1 ratboy
0 common sense

Love

More, more!
If I say I'd like to see more of you
It might very well mean
that you should be more on that TV show

But it most likely means
that you just should be in some bed
where I wanna see more of you :-P~

Pain
I've been in such pain all day
and it doesn't seem to go away
(rhyme! hihi??)

First of all I woke up with Da Pains
and realized that if I met you
we wouldn't be able to do it

And my sore throat made me understand
that if I saw you
but you didn't see me
there would be no way of making myself heard

But the worst pain was in my soul
as I thought of the fact that I would
never meet you or even see you
Never see you and absolutely never meet you
anyway

Wrong guy
You're 7500 kilometers away
Before I existed you'd had a million girlfriends
Your lover is a model
50000 women worldwide want you badly

So what!

Only
We're only 8000 kilometers
9 hours
21 years apart

As a dreamer I like the word "only"

Anger
In the morning I got in a bad mood
Because someone did force me out of bed too early

At school I got mad
Because my teacher was a bitch

I wasn't expecting to get murderous
as I went to bed

But you weren't there

Fall
I hate fall
Everything's dark
Cold rain

Was what I wrote 2 years ago

Last fall
You came to me

I wrote
I love fall
The red maple leaves make my world a better place
The dark is good to hide in
And we get to fuck in peace

This fall
You're leaving

I repeat:
I hate fall...

Requirements
If I ever wanted to know the color of your eyes
I'd have to
stand close to you
put my arms around you
feel your body close to mine
and maybe make you lie down
so that I could see your eyes

Too bad! :-P~

Hot
I went out naked in the rain
and thought of a city
and of someone there

Didn't freeze.

Death
In case a nuclear bomb would kill me
In the middle of the night
It’d be nice if you knew
You'd been the last person I thought of

T.T.I.O.T.
When the sun is blocked by the powerful
and the spotlights are blinding

I want you to know
Down there in the darkness
The truth is resting

Real thing
Listening to one
Looking at another
Talking ’bout the third

While thinking of you
And following your dreams

Curses
Damn this
Fuck that
To hell with him

Bless you

Blind SOAB
I want you to see me

I’m the rat in the hole in your wall
The cop behind the magic mirror
I’m your guardian angel

And I want you to see me

Invisibility
So I see
I’m invisible, right?

I’m pretty good at
sitting in front of you
looking sad
asking quietly for attention
without you noticing

Well then I guess I could just as well
call you morons
shoot your grandmas
and burn to death
without you noticing

RIP?
When you die
Don’t RIP

I’ll be there
Snoring by your side

Tagging
I *heart* Nick
Nick rules
YS + NL = True

My love was a crime
that made the cops get me

Catboy
Like the tiger you are
Like a wild cat
You came

I wanted you to be mine
Like the wild cat you are
You belong to no one

I loved you
Like the wild cat you are
You never loved anyone

You began to walk away
Like the wild cat you are
Your life will never change

My life changed;
I died
Who the hell can live
without a heart?

Mini-saga about vacation of some kind
The poor high school class
had to go to a
really boring kind of place.

One courageously broke out and
fled west on a stolen
Arabian thoroughbred.

LA glistened under the setting
sun.

Natasha became a big movie
director and her old enemies
choked on their sour beer
back home.

Mini-saga: The last day
On the last day I
went and told the evils
to kiss my flowery ass.
They tried to catch and
kill me, only to discover
- the following second - that I
was already on the next
plane to Out There. I
laughed and waved all the
way to the Bermuda Triangle.

Change of heart
There were lots of those loves first
Only one was to last
I expected a burst
but I’d learned from the past

After three years’ obsession
my whole world lay on thee
a secret possession
and a mission for me

I felt too safe to care
when I cared about him
My heart lay all bare
when the bolt made me dim

Smell of blood
Our seagulls party hard as hell
Some fishers reach the shore
The teachers find no soul to bore
In June life CAN be swell

As temps race up into the sun
I leave the movies’ night
I’m one of few within the light
Where freedom lets you run

Along the river roars the bus
I scream, ”Speed up, speed up!”
Can’t wait to get there, to THE TOP
I’ll get him, just because

Two green eyes flash when I walk in
They light up Goblin’s Hat
A crazy gaze, acknowledge that
I yell, ”You’re mine, Joaquin!”

River watching
By the darkening river
his brotherly talk gives in
His tongue moves on to wilder grounds, her skin
Cool fluid makes her shiver

With flesh like red hot Inca gold
he makes her rich, he should be told
She turns away her aching eyes
to spot the dove, it greets them twice

Through jungle, across glowing desert rocks
she clings to him, a mass of raven locks
A long fall into a emerald mine
She’s broken, dies smiling in their starry shine

Rise and shine
With him in the straw
and the sound of a river
a kitten’s soft paw
and the trash packed with liver

They watch from the outside
The cat’s now a cheetah
Their souls rush on worldwide
But he slows down to meet her

The memory’s bitter
Yet sweet as his kisses
It’s the lightning that hit her,
the dreamworld, she misses

The rules
In the gold of the sun
or the milk of the moon
Whenever I meet him
I will act like a loon

In the skin of a lamb
and my guts filled with bird
A single mistake
and he won’t say a word

I will mention my bro
while we stare at the river
He will throw up the tofu
and scream, ”You’re chopped liver!”

If the list of these rules
fly right out of my pocket
He won’t think it’s sweet
Only flee like a rocket

Trapalanda
The stable door closes,
a new gate will open.
He staggers behind her
to the shape in the shade.
She embraces his neck, it’s thin,
and weeps in his mane, it’s gone tangled.
She takes off his halter
and he takes the last leap.
He hears the sound of his hooves on new grass,
not the gun shot.
He sees the sun rise, and the dew.
She sees it set.
He can feel clear water fill his belly,
the cooling she feels is his blood.
The final sigh in her face
becomes his first song through morning mist.

Trapalanda (in Swedish, what harm can it do)
Stalldörren stängs,
en ny port ska öppnas.
Han stapplar bakom henne
till gestalten i skuggan.
Hon kramar hans hals, den är tunn
och gråter i hans man, full av tovor.
Hon tar av honom grimman
och han tar det sista språnget.
Han hör sina hovar mot nytt gräs,
inte skottet.
Han ser solen stiga, och daggen.
Hon ser den sjunka.
Han kan känna klart vatten fylla honom.
Kylan hon känner är blod.
Den sista sucken i hennes ansikte
blir hans första sång genom morgondis.

Jacob
The thunder last night was hard
but I greet you and forget it.
You tell me you’re sorry
for making the decision for me
for asking me to leave
and to sleep.
You can’t feel my pain.
All I do is hope
that you’ll let me sink in peace,
to the darkness beneath the surface.
Hot tears hit my nose,
shaky hands stroke my face,
I cradle in soft arms and listen.
We will take a walk,
go to bed,
meet my friends.
Your voice blends into my dream
until there’s no more dream.
I’m suddenly there.

Jacob (Swedish version)
Åskan i natt var svår
men jag kysser dig och glömmer.
Du ber om förlåtelse
för beslutet du fattar åt mig
för att du ber mig gå
och ber mig sova.
Du kan inte känna min plåga som jag.
Allt jag gör är hoppas
att du låter mig sjunka ner i ron,
till mörkret under ytan.
Heta tårar träffar min nos,
darrande händer stryker mitt ansikte,
jag vilar i mjuka armar och lyssnar.
Vi ska ut och vandra,
vila tillsammans,
möta mina vänner.
Din röst flyter samman med min dröm
tills drömmen upphör och blir verklig.
Jag är där till sist.

Mitochondria (in the spirit of possibly computer-generated song lyrics. Really.)
What would I do without you
When I’m tired, you get me through
You’re always there for me
As if I’m greater than the sea

You keep me good and warm
I could never do you any harm
For as long as the sun will shine
I know you will be mine

You give me so much power
And live in every bird and flower
You keep me from dying
For you I will always keep trying

Spoonman
I'll cut your heart out with a spoon, he promised
And like all the other times in his life when he did something right
He kept his promise.
Only the spoon was too sharp
Too pure
Too flawless
For her to feel.
Used with such skill
She didn't stir once
Until many years later
When she due to lucky chance
Had the spoon pointed out to her.
She stared in disbelief
Her eyes rolled back
Her tongue rolled out
The DVD shop owner's brand new convertible rolled on.
And he only smirked with the spoon and her heart
In his hands
Hiding one face or a hundred of his
And did his job as he had done all along.
At petrol stations
In misty dungeons
On the cloud next to God
Carrying people through the silver rain underneath
That slithered through her brain.

Moonworm
I stand on the shore
tasting the wind for grass and smoke
A sallow moon rises to ripple in black
Less brilliant than that by which I was blinded
two nights past the vagabond desert star
No brighter than those moons I’m waiting to see
Two twin moons covered in unthirsty violets
Hiding now behind the rim of my world

Daisy
I run to the end of the world
To the daisy meadow
I claw at the daisies in the meadow
And I stretch my aching flesh amongst the daisies
And roll around in the daisy meadow
Begging for daisies to sully my clothes
Eating some daisies with raging delight
The heat wants my death by sunshine
between proud stiff daisy stems
Still daisies fill my senses and my little daisy vase
Not until night do my tears water salty shrivelled daisies

Their god
Said to possess that bush-burning power
He looks over all the cubicle walls
Calls attentions
And they lean into his extended arm
That points out all around
What he shows them
Panoramic essences of truth and decay
At whose end the bush is burning
Having brought about its own ignition

Heroin sweet
I imagine pure and infinite love. Love
that is every particle in the universe and
fills each of one’s love receptors. Each. The
universe holds no vacuum, for
it has become a black hole of love. Still
it retains its size, is blinding, and
lets one touch every corner. You
are expanding with love, the
universe with you. Only
this love has value. Love
intense as a panic attack, agony, exploding
heart, suffocation, spinning
head, vertigo, ascending
human body, scream. Love
that says yes to snot, shit,
puke, piss, saliva, mucus. The love
gazes smilingly at pain, disease,
mutilation, noise, depression,
poverty, collapse, addiction and
untimely death.

Erosion
The brain's pearly rough surface and
the lion's scraping tongue have
torn asunder a spot of my
skin, showing raw red meat and white
bones beneath. His shell is long
removed, the distance between our
ulcers only glassy screens. It will one
day, many nights, cease to be. Our
bloods are exchanged as one cares for
the other, trust for trust. Closeness
in thoughts and time until space is
traversed and he gives us everything.

Group hug!
All is a stormy vortex of black
sand circling, through dark yellow dying
light, a glistening man, our
final sight, one last shore to
grasp in lingering human hands. Our
blood went. What we once sucked for
life died. Now only the wait for
a winter remains. We
shall fade and not know the
next explosion as light for a
time returns. Eyes
close from what we never wanted to
see coming. Arms feel him solid in our
grip still. Against
walls of hearts beat echoes firing the
battles we went down fighting. Pulses
slow while we wait, nay, rest with
him, hearing, feeling, inhaling
scents and sharing unseen
kisses of sweat and pearl gray and
lips now smoky.