Bono's touch

OMG WHAT A PERVY TITLE!

I fell in luv with my first U2 song, pretty much, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, in music class (*barf*) in 1997 or so. Then I discovered radio. I mean really. Including more U2.

Pride
New Year's day
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
Where the streets have no name
The unforgettable fire
One
Beautiful day
Stuck in a moment you can't get out of
Elevation
Walk on
Kite
Vertigo
Miracle drug
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
City of blinding lights
+ hopefully songs I have not yet heard (bad CD-buyer me)...

...ARE TEH LOVE!

That summer, 1997, U2 played in my town and I was too young, too stupid & too far into the wilderness to hunt tix. I kind of regretted this until I saw a chance for revenge (erm... on myself) in 2005...

However, on February 7 I failed miserably at the task of securing tix for last night's U2 concert in Gothenburg... Release at 9am. Lecture at 9am. I'd got my priorities straight. Or not. :'( Sold out after 90 minutes. Heeey, I wanted to see U2 IRL, take a pic where Bono was perhaps one whole pixel tall, drown my singing voice in 50000 others + get high. :p IN THE FRONT ROW! X'C Would I have to wait another 8 years, or at least get lost in Stockholm after... a smaller but nevertheless sad number of years?

Yet on January 14 I had dreamt that I shook Bono's hand.

LAST NIGHT I SHOOK BONO'S HAND!!! XD +O

LIKE, TRELAWNEY CAN GO JUMP IN TEH LAKE!
Which wasn't the point.

Extraordinary shite has happened every July 27 since 2002. This trend was shockingly broken in 2005. Gulp.

But. The city paper had kindly (ahem) revealed U2:s hotel, restaurants and pubs of choice this time around. :B Bright, sunny fan stories went online in seconds. I kindly only stalked the hotel... and earned a few 100 Life Points on July 28 when I saw, heard & took a blurry pic of Bono! :D Oh, and he was talking on his mobile phone and held it up: "Say hello to my friend Joe!" Yoze: "Gag." But there was no time for me to reach the front of the crowd before he disappeared into the hotel.

*checks hotel rates... not*

"Ah well, what I wanted most was to see Bono, and seen him I have, much closer than I might have at any concert! :q But... WHAT'S the harm in returning here tomorrow morning? :B"

Harm to one's back, literacy & honour?

FORTH, STALKER FEET!

On July 29, ~1 month after my meeting with teh Ewan :D and a stunning 5 hours after I'd fallen asleep, I woke up:

"Urgh... I gotta re-stalk U2... But what if they've already left for the arena or summat when I arrive... or if they sneak out the back door... or jump directly from the hotel windows into their fancy black cars... or I don't get a siggy... One could not even BLAME them. :p"

FORTH, STALKER FEET, YOU LAZY BAHSTAHDS!

Between 8am and 11am or so I lurked at & watched from a bus stop near the hotel. Guards mingled in the entrance and fixed up some barricades, but there were no other stalkers to be seen - I figured I was the most neurotic as well as the least informed fan. :q Didn't want to look stalky, nor wear out my stalker legs until it was necessary. I latched on to one of the last stretches of barricade near the hotel entrance about 1 h after the guards had said that nothing would happen for at least 4 more h. :B

To my left was a young female autograph hunter, her friend behind us. They didn't seem to be over-enthusiastic about U2:s music, but seasoned stalkers. To my right was a male U2 fanatic, clutching a bunch of ancient LP records. He had been close to the stage at the July 27 Oslo concert and was now trying to decide whether he should wait for a handshake or get in line for the concert. Poor bahstahd. He split, but rather late, and was replaced in seconds by some Finnish guy.

The fancy black cars were driven all over the place and some drivers I recognised from the day before scurried about and made everyone whisper "THIS IS IT!" once an hour. After a couple of hours, I realised I might want to remove my book-filled backpack or I would not laaaaaast. :B I hung it on the barricade. Mmm, pillow. Anyway, there were almost no people behind me (unlike the situation at a certain movie premiere) so there was room to sit down. Ahhh. "Hmm. I can't see a thing. What if Bono comes out right NOW, runs past us with a pen and I don't rise in time? My arse. I hope I haven't sat on a chewing gum. Or a vomit. Do not fart, Finnish guy. Someone fix me a fluffy velvet armchair. Or one of them hotel rooms. I can share."

So I got up every time the mood started to sparkle, hehe.

Discussions from around me + the inside of my head:
~Will U2 emerge from this main entrance, through the kitchen door or through that little door farther down the street where the cars are standing now? Why are the cars standing there now?! BOOOOHOOOOOO!
~Wonder how often, if at all, this silver pen needs to be obscenely shaken in order to work?
~Will U2 stop to sign anything or will they have to hurry to the arena?
~I'm bored.
~Have they already left and spent the day doing Gothenburg?
~So what does Gothenburg have that I don't?!
~If U2 are planning to stop and chat now, will they change their minds if (erm, WHEN) the rain starts?
~"SUGAR... WATER..." (Muahaha, I did possess sugar water. Cactus Festis. Unwise to overuse fluid when stalking though...)
~& how will I best commit suicide when the rain starts? YAY! SHARP TOXIC PEN!

Around 4pm, the siggy hunters decided to believe that U2 would emerge at 6. At 5 seconds to 6, Per Gessle came out of the hotel.

Everyone: :O

He used to be in the duo Roxette, I dunno how famous they ever were outside Sweden & Japan or what brand of nappies y'all were in, but check out Roxette. :9 They can be almost as good as U2. *crosses self* Sometimes. Now Gessle is solo & has made close to 0 songs that are my cuppa. :B He has, however, filled the same arena as U2. I've had 5000 chances to see him but got no pic now. :p

And at 6-ish, when it STILL wasn't raining, the drivers could be seen getting into the black cars for the final time... The cars moved up between the barricades... GENUINE mood-sparkling. Suddenly the crowd got loud and 1 s later I spotted BONO standing on Plaza's front step, waving and doing the peace sign, sez my totally reliable memory. :D

He walked behind the car, over to the OPPOSITE BARRICADE :O and the fans clumped around him like wee iron filings. A crazy fangirl farther down the same barricade squealed pleadingly for an autograph. Over & over. I was happy to have another maniac do all the work. >:B And Bono kept moving down that barricade, around the car and over to our side... +O

The War of the Barricades.

But meanwhile, Adam Clayton had appeared in front of us! Soooo I barely knew 50% of the U2 members' names before today. :p Well, he signed the front of my How to dismantle an atomic bomb leaflet. :) Huge siggy, so I hurried to find some other cool pic of Bono, which wasn't easy, what with the tradition of filling CD leaflets with band photos christened Blurry overexposed blots 200 m away. But I succeeded in my quest!

Bono signed to the right of me, to the left of me - i.e. for the siggy hunter. As one would expect, she had not brought any U2-related item, but a fat siggy book for all occasions. :q

I swung my leaflet-laden arm over the head of some kid who for some (probably tragic) reason had been permitted in front of the barricade, and I GOT BONO'S SIGGY!!! Wouldn't have guessed that 36 h earlier! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Wonder why exactly he asked for the siggy hunter's name & not mine, though...

~Because the absence of CD leaflets and the presence of a half-full siggy book suggested she only wanted to E-bay the siggy and so he felt like personalising it? (I would sell my Preciousesss only if I wanted heroin and had already sold my right foot to McDonald's, btw.)
~Because I acted like a fecking maniac?

Tricky. Tricky. :B

Then he changed directions again (luckily, or he would have gone through the hotel wall) and my arm followed, back over the kid's head. Bob Almighty had temporarily freed Bono's hand of the pen bunch, so I gathered a sip of courage and...

BONO SHOOK HANDS WITH ME! XD

Heh, I didn't see that coming either, on January 14, waking from the dream. :D

I know everyone says this of every idol-hand they shake, but His Hand Was So Warm & Soft & His Grip -

*trails off into trash novel style sentence that one needs to read with HANDS in mind, HANDS, HANDS!*

*awakes 3 weeks later*

Hem hem. Then (meaning: at some damned point) the crowd yelled "EDGE! EDGE!" The guitar god retraced Bono's footsteps around the car and eventually reached our little corner. He was signing things in my vicinity when someone yelled "We gotta go!" But he still gave me one of his very last siggies, a quick one. :)

Those lucky ticket-possessing bahstahds waiting, breaking, bursting, dying in the arena (cue Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard) might as well be kept waiting & suffering an extra 0.5 s. AHAHAHAHA!

As the car blasted off, Bono rolled the window down to say good bye (we replied, gasp) and shake some more hands. Awww.

I'm not sure anyone saw Larry Mullen, but I'm not complaining about MY BONO EXPERIENCE! XD

Then I staggered off to the bus, blissful smile on my face. Nose & other facial organs in close contact with my right palm. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Pix to be found in this 'ere album, I'd link directly to the pix themselves if a LINKING MACHINE SOMEWHERE weren't so fecked up! :p

Questionnaire #4000

I actually stole and answered this last night, but no one cares.

PERSONAL
What's your name? Um... *mumbles* RATEXLA KETTLEBURN! :B
What other names did your parents consider giving you? Can't remember.
What year were you born? 1983. Pity. Everyone seems to worship 1984. Moreover, I'll go toes-up sooner.
Where do you live? Spinner's End in the summers... Hogwarts for the rest of the year, where I lead a sneaking existence between the Ravenclaw dormitory tower and Snape's private chamber. The shrink tells me I live in Gothenburg, Sweden, Europe. I'm not seeing a shrink.
How tall are you? 172 cm, I think.
Eye colour? Green. The weirdest. :D I'll go blind medium-quickly, right?
Weight? Our scale is broken. :B Perhaps 60 kg. Probably much more. Punctures certain myths.

FAVOURITE...
...film? Lunch with Charles. Since you don't know what the hell that is, go watch Gladiator, kiddo.
...season? I already said... Latespringifitweren'tforschoolcrispautumnifitweren'tforschool.
...food & drink? Pizza & diet coke. *smack slurp* Cholesterol free & not bloody often, respectively.
...animal? Dog?
...colour? Purple?
...pastime? Writing... Not that I'm able anymore... But I will not admit defeat. X'C

CLOTHES
What kind of jacket do you use? Black cotton coat that's been used at the Opera House. :)
What kind of shoes do you use? Black fake leather army thingies. Well, cuz my trainers are dead. They had a long and rich life. *blows nose*
Favourite colour of clothes? BLACK!
What clothes do you want? The sacred underwear of Nick, Alan, Joaquin & Brad.
How much do you spend on clothes every month? 100 SEK maybe... I don't buy clothes every month, I think.
What's your jeans size? 40 or so.

LAST PERSON WHO...
...slept in your bed? *shovels in month-old memory* Acarida. *whispers* Snape has trouble entering my dormitory, after all. Powerful ole anti-boy spell on that staircase, aye.
...saw you cry? A 2D print of Snape?
...talked to you? Mum. "Yes yes, if the uni has fecked up your application we'll appeal against them! No, I don't have time to kill you right now! *slap* Those are MY anxiety pills!"
...shared a drink with you? Mum at the Royal Court Theatre bar.
...went to the cinema with you? Mum, to see Kingdom of Heaven. *cheers feebly & mainly for the sake of david, alexander, ridley & jeremy*
...went downtown with you? Mum, and she got rid of me quickly too.
...bit your head off? GUESS WHO! Mum. She likes to interpret my every action and word as a sign of aggression.
...sent you an e-mail? A harbinger of shite news from the bowels of uni bureaucracy. *googles to check spelling*

HAVE YOU EVER...
...said "I love you" and meant it? No, I don't talk pervy to my pets.
...had a fight with your pet? Thanks for the 1990 tetanus shot, hamsterboy! :x No, my bad.
...dreamt something crazy that happened next day? We were planning to visit the swimming palace. The previous night I dreamed of the swimming palace. Sharp, eh? Oh, and "crazy" goes in there too if you're speaking of the risk of drowning.

HAVE YOU EVER VISITED...
...Norway? Yes. :9 My New Zealand surrogate.
...Finland? I walked in.
...the US? Sweet beach of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
...Australia? No. They've got all the scary animals. You take it.
...Germany? In passing. Of course I stepped on the ground. *collects countries*
...China? No. Not top priority.

STUFF
Have you been in love with anyone you could never have? Sever...al. Mmmmmen.
Are you alone right now? Well, there are the Acarida, and Snape... hmm...
What songs often get stuck in your head? None in particular.
Do you want to marry? Sure, I could marry my fictional bang buddy for the cuteness of it and NOT bloody LIVE with him. We would also sit in front of his cosy fire and write extensive "People I may shag" lists.
Do you want kids? Well, if I were un-mental, Colonel Brandon came riding up my garden path, severe underpopulation reigned, women were banned from education, a nanny kept the bahstahds out of my hearing- and knife-throwing range and antibiotics + proper vegan food had been discovered in 1800's Britain. So... NO! My favourite quote from Shallow grave goes: "You never told me this was for children! I hate children! I'd raise money to have the little fuckers put down! Oi! I want my money back!" (In a Scottish accent.)

EXTRA STUFF
Do you do drugs? Yes. I get a headache without morning caffeine. (From tea, mind.)
Do you drink? Copiously. a) 0.2% cider if someone shoves a glass in my hand. b) Punch drop on vegan ice-cream.
Who's your best friend? Numerous crazy Internet stalkers share the burden. :x
What are you most afraid of? Failure, oblivion, jellyfish, spiders, mutilation & Inferi. Corpses have always freaked me out, especially moving ones. JKR KNEW THIS AND GAVE THEM A NAME! SHE IS IN CAHOOTS WITH MY NUKE POWER PLANT! AND SO IS STEPHEN KING! :O
What clothes do you sleep in? T-shirt... or just knickers... Nothing fancy, they need to be Severus-tolerant. :q
Where do you want to get married? MARRIED?! WHAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, I suppose Gotland could be cool. But un-baptised me couldn't use a church anyway. Here's the devil to pick me up in his bright red sports car.
Whom do you truly hate? *flings out hateful arm and randomly grabs...* Hitler & all who took over the fragments of his soul and those whose soul fragments he took over if that works! Hem hem.
Been in love? NickandAlanhavecomeclose.
Do you drive a car? Folks' Volvo.
Do you have a job? Not anymore. I'm ashamed & relieved.
Do you enjoy being surrounded by people? No. But rather "people" than one "person" who counts on me alone to entertain them. *shudder* *entertains nick primitively*
Are you a health freak? See diet preferences.
Do you have a tattoo? No, I put off choosing one, cough cough.

DURING THE LAST 48 H, HAVE YOU...
...cried? *glare #394*
...bought anything? That I cannot tell you. It is a secret. :9
...been ill? No, they got my immune system right, at least.
...sung? EH?!
...said "I love you"? Hmm. 2D Snape print. Confused mumblings. He's fictional. How silly.
...wanted to tell someone you love them? I hear Alan hates being lied to.
...met someone new? Yes. A never before seen DVD shop clerk. Calm down, 'twas a female.
...missed someone? Alan. And Nick, Joaquin & Brad, whom I've never seen, so.
...hugged someone? COOTIES!
...kissed someone? *cries*

LATEST...
...song you heard? Some Coldplay song on MTV this morning.
...film you watched? Extended The Fellowship of the Ring.
...thing you stole? I don't steal. Physical objects. *cough* I would probably get addicted and ruin me life. I have mum steal pens and envelopes for me at her richarse workplace. Ahhh.
...food you ate? Soy sausages & fried potatoes until the uni bureaucracy allergy sealed up my throat.
...occasion you ate a 7-Eleven hot dog? 7-Eleven have not yet acknowledged the existence of the vegan market, boohoo on behalf of Everyone.

Lovely Half-Blood Prince

***SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE AHEAD!!!***

12-Nov-02 to 17-Nov-02: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
18-Nov-02 to 24-Nov-02: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
27-Aug-03 to 29-Sep-03: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
29-Sep-03 to 27-Nov-03: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
24-Dec-03 to 5-Jan-04: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Rereading. Anxiety. Spoiler-ducking.

15-Jul-05 (um... nights can count as the day before :B ) to 19-Jul-05:
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!

Here follows a long tedious report of the release and my so called thoughts on the book. Cuz it's all a bit historical. And maybe I'll keep polishing it, filling it with desperate theories, until the next book comes out. :)

It must have been the most anticipated book in my life! (Well, I couldn't wait for Jean M Auel's fifth cavewoman novel back in 1995, but I could when it was released seven years later. So.) Like a good coward, I pre-booked it at the nearest suburban book shop. By MSN:ing a fellow Pothead two hours prior to the release, I found out that only a special sci-fi book shop waaaaay downtown would do the real thing and offer the book before dawn. At 1.00am, to be precise.

Suburban book shop, suckling of daylight, I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Well, I drove to town and found the sci-fi book shop crowded. The wee number of non-pre-booked Princes was skillfully concealed behind... Everyone Else. Although Everyone Else was running around lovingly clutching 6.8 books, on average, to their thumping heart. I gave up on grabbing a copy before joining the queue. Somewhere ahead, the treasure shelf lurked... A few people called to the front of the line and got books thrown (OK, sent) to them but hey, I don't much like to open my fecking mouth.

"I am wearing the Lucky Knickers - what can go wrong?"

Listened to some queue talk:

"Was it the Dumbledore actor or the Gandalf actor who died? Gandalf, wasn't it?"
"WOOHOOOOO! Read THIS!"
"Mum, you'll have to tell us who the Half-Blood Prince is when we get the book [as we won't be taught English for another eternity]."

Then I reached a stretch of wall displaying a magnificent poster of the adult cover. (Not as slimy as it sounds.) For the first time, I realised that the book on this book cover... was titled...

Advanced Potion-Making

"Then Harry must have scraped that Potions O after all! So Snape finally gets some! Exposure, I mean! FIREWHISKY'S ON ME, PEOPLE!"

... I mused.

Of course I needed that fancy cover. (POTIONS, and it would look painfully gorgeous covered in silvery autographs, eh? Aye, dream on.) When I was at last able to reach the tiny blue cardboard shelf I started to dig into it. The guy in front of me had just grabbed his copy, and he was kind enough to dig one out for me. The last of them all. Kid cover. Oh well... It's what's inside that counts. Actually. Grunt. So I glanced around, wondering silently if anyone would like to trade their horribly expensive and involuntarily acquired adult copies, but I was afraid to scare anyone. It was a dark and stormy night, after all.

Maybe the clerk would be able to find an adult copy somewhere. She looked panicky and tried to calm the raging mass of bodies.

"Ehehe, yeah, we expected a lot of customers, but not THIS many! Yes, I can go and get some more from the store room - TWO MINUTES! OK? Phew! *sweat* OMG what the hell is 200 - 185?! Let me just rub my brain for a few minutes! Have you pre-booked anything? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

I hope the poor lass was a Pothead.

Tragically, since I had decided to save myself for the right cover, I didn't open the book before I reached the counter. That would have been cool... Everyone else read their way through the queue. They must have reached the end of the book so much faster than I did! DAMN THEM! I HAD HOPED TO BE THE FIRST WORLD CITIZEN TO READ THIS BOOK, EVER! :O

No.

I got my adult cover copy at last - the one on display. :) More luck. I floated back to the car. It had not been stolen. Scary kind of luck. I placed the book on top of my bag in the passenger seat and drooled over and admired it at every red light and more, chanting "OMG, OMG."

Aye, the most anticipated book ever. Not just by me, I think. My eagerness to start on another Potter book had increased with each one - but now I had done the true fan thing and bought one on the release night. *slurp* I pulled into a nice empty parking space on the way home and ceremoniously read two pages...

WTF was this?

NO SNAPE FOR TWO PAGES? CALMING POTION OVER HERE! (Not really. But I wouldn't have complained.) When I thought my folks must be worried enough, I euphoria-blasted home, landed on the sofa with a bucket of tea and a stack of sandwiches and licked 90 pages.

Spinner's End. A beautiful street. As I said to my fellow MSN Pothead, I wonder if the role of Narcissa Malfoy has been etched in stone yet? Snape sure got some... hand-kissing. I would of course make certain suggestions to enhance the scene in the film compared to the book - they would realise that a steaming sex ritual on a threadbare couch in the name of the Unbreakable Vow is a greater ticket-seller than hand-holding, wouldn't they? Alan would surely agree. For the sake of the art. I'd better fill that ammonia bucket in good time. And keep it close to my bed, so I can submerge my head in it as soon as the casting agent hangs up.

Or I could at least write to JKR and ask her what the street number is. X Spinner's End. HOW COULD SHE NOT TELL US? :O

After those 90 sweet pages it was 7.30am and I figured I'd have a better reading experience if I wasn't a corpse. I felt blunt, but not truly sleepy until I put the book down.

"OH GOD! SLEEP! I NEED SLEEP! I CAN'T GET TO SLEEP FAST ENOOOOOOOOUGH! DOWN, BRAIN, DOWN! *shiver* KILL ME!"

JKR keeps us awake... until we go MAD! :O

I always kept my green marker pen at hand, marking "Snape", "potion", "Defence Against the Dark Arts", "Lupin", "Lucius" and other cool names, words, jokes, potions, lines, messages, hints and clues. And I scribbled comments in a lot of margins... even before I knew what the Prince had done to his book. :) This time I really hoped to figure things out before the end - worrying about Snape, and hoping he would be the Prince.

Why I could hope Snape was the Prince:

• The Prince used a book, a bit like Voldemort did in Chamber of Secrets...
  ... Voldemort's mixed parentage was forcefully rubbed in...
  ... and Voldemort was a brilliant student, and so was the Prince, apparently. At least as a Potions student. When JKR points at something... you need to look in another direction, eh?
• Snape seemed certain about Harry's cheating after Snape discovered the Prince's book. (Or so I just Wanted To Believe.)
• The Prince was good at Potions. Something tells me Snape is good at Potions. Oh yeah, he was the MASTER. That's it.
• Specifically, the Prince knew about bezoars, which were mentioned by Snape during Harry's very first Potions lesson and made it into the film. :D Hermione even rubbed it in a little by telling Harry he should just have listened to Snape in the first place. *COUGH*Snape.*COUGH*
• The Prince also wrote about jinxes and hexes in his book. Snape knew an awful lot about the Dark Arts even before he started at Hogwarts. We are reminded of his skills again in this book.
• The Prince knew about Levicorpus, which James used on Snape. :'(
• The Prince is repeatedly, rubbingly said to have had a "small, cramped handwriting" - like Snape's writing when Harry visited his 5th year DADA exam in the Pensieve. Did JKR expect us to FORGET? :B Erm, yes. That's why I read Order twice.
• Advanced Potion-Making is old enough to have been Snape's. (Of course, it's closer to Voldemort's age...)
• The fact that Snape the potential half-blood had the stomach to call Lily a mudblood can be explained by some flashy psychological term that I knew in 2001.
• "The Death Eaters can't all be pure-blood," says trustworthy Hermione. Phew. So Voldy couldn't refuse to employ half-bloods. (Any pure-bloods left might be too inbred to work well, anyway...)
• The Prince is compared to Snape several times. COOOOOOUGH.
• At one point I thought things started to get too obvious, yet Harry never considered the possibility that the Prince might be Snape. How sneaky of JKR. (Of course, poor Harry wasn't obsessed with Snape and didn't try to spear every trace of him with a marker pen.)
• JKR is quite obviously a Rickmaniac! (And SHE wrote "... you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love." ;B DUH!)
• And it would be so cool if my favourite Alan character was given some extra attention, such as the title role in the world's most anticipated book. :9 Wait, that's no reason.

My next list is a collection of comforting ideas that were
~Blatantly stolen
~Stolen so long ago I've come to believe they are my own
~Confided by a reliable source (namely, Sevvie-kins) during my many detentions with him

It'll be a useful list. I'll return to it whenever I need to refresh my hope. *angel choir*

OK. A few reasons why I can choose to believe Snape is on the good side:

• Snape seems hopelessly bad now. There is a whole book left. And JKR is NOT going to surprise us at least ONE more time? XD
• Dumbledore knew his life would be over soon anyway. If Snape hadn't killed him, Snape would have broken the Vow and died. Now he also convinced Voldemort of his loyalty. And Dumbledore didn't want Draco to become a murderer, Draco's soul needed saving. Snape may be able to persuade Voldemort not to kill the puppy Draco. If neither had done it, one of the FOUR DEATH EATERS would have done it. ("If I don't do it, someone else will" seems a legitimate excuse in this case. :) ) I haven't found my way back to the row Snape and Dumbledore had, but I hear it clearly concerns the murder plan, once you reread it. :/
• The hatred in Snape's face when he killed Dumbledore was an act for the Death Eaters, directed at Dumbledore for making Snape kill him, and/or directed at himself for following this order. (Poor Snape. Let me comfort you. :x )
• Snape started out as a typical villain. (Dressed in black. Intimidating. Portrayed by Alan.) He can't end that way - so few things are what they seem in Potterverse... eh?! (Though if Snape were a bottle, he'd be spinning faster than everyone else.) Prejudice and jumping to conclusions are baaad things, mmmkay. KEEP SPINNING, SNAPE!
• Harry is, as usual, sure he knows all about the circumstances. How typically JKR-twisty would book 7 be if he was right all along? It would become just one big straight Snape chase. With Voldemort on the side.

And let's hope that JKR:s final way of surprising us won't be the ABSENCE of a surprise. An anti-twist. NO, JKR, NO!

Possible book 7 scenario: Harry tracks Snape down using luck and his little friends. Snape, like Sirius, tries to explain how Harry got it all wrong, as always. Harry doesn't listen but kills Snape. Snape is dead on the grass. Dumbledore's ghost comes floating by and tells Harry that Snape WAS indeed a good lad. Harry hangs his head in shame. Harry moves to a place full of nice people in white coats. Draco saves the world.

~*~

Normally I wouldn't complain about a fictional character being bad. You know I love the fic-baddies. I fall for baddie actors. I mark Lucius's name. Blah blah.

But I don't personally want to BANG THE BADDIES!

And Snape is at the mo my favourite fuzzy daydream material! By the time book 7 is released I may no longer be so, ehehe, physically crazy about Snape or Alan... (DON'T get me wrong... ;) ) I will likely have found a new fuzzball to comfort me. There will be many aspects left of Snape to enjoy - the baddie, the actor, Teh Voice, the importance, the mystery, the coolness, the humour, the darkness... Still, for the time being, I'm glad I dare to remain "in detention" and I get a snug corner of Hogwarts in the bargain - I quite love Potterverse. :9

***END OF SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!!!***

I had a deep semi-conversation with Ewan McGregor!

*is forcefully dragged off london-gothenburg plane, though panting happily*

June 27 - July 1 (CANADA DAY, WOOHOO) 2005: My 4th visit - but my first proper touristy London holiday since 1999... Beware of The da Vinci code spoilers!

Activities, buys and sights:

• Alan-stalking: I didn't care to conduct any hard-arse research just before I went, so I trusted some dim memories of location names I had picked up online, way back. (Worry not, Alan, I never broke into anything. Just strolled through potentially holy 'hoods. :x ) And besides, I hear he was in the US on June 27, at least...! :p
• Buckingham Palace: I walked past it. No, just joking. I stopped and created an enormous sand painting saying "ASK TEH RICKMAN IF HE WOULD LIKE TO BE KNIGHTED, FOR BOB'S SAKE!!!" (in the typeface Jokerman) on the ground of the court yard. No, I didn't. Really. REALLY!!! But I was consuming a Calippo Orange at the time. Huh, huh, huh.
• Camden Market: My mum seemed most excited about visiting markets. I bought heaps of sh*t. Namely, a bag of tea called Notting Hill :D which smells yummy, like a popsicle. (Gasp, I appear unable to drop the subject of popsicles.)
• General celeb-stalking: We took a walk from the Notting Hill Gate tube station. :B Aight. Years ago, I read that Gillian Anderson had settled on Xxxxxxxxxx Road, so I stumbled onto it. Yay.
• Westminster Abbey: Nick Lea is from New Westminster, so maybe he visited the ole church for fun! And it's packed with dead celebs! And The da Vinci code goes there! I was most thrilled to see the Chapter House (with which The da Vinci code people wouldn't have had to bother if they'd let me work out that PIECA CAKEY password) and a coronation chair made in 1301 :O , along with the graves of Edward I (Braveheart baddie, hehe, who had the coronation chair made), Elizabeth I (usually, what LITTLE history I know, I learn from films... :p Er, whatever works... No, seems they're rarely accurate... And Elizabeth bored me although Cate kix arse :/ ), Newton (whose grave was in The da Vinci code! Oh, and he also helped to make the world see reason and believe in science and all that, splendid), Churchill (if he was really there, I'm not sure) and Darwin, whose grave I just had to touch! With both of my palms! Lucky it wasn't behind a fence. Then I hammered 8 chips out of it to sell on E-bay, licked the entire stone slab twice so it would be very nice and clean, and emptied a whole barrel of flower petals of every species and colour onto it! No. You know I don't go for bearded dudes!
• British Museum: In 1999, I visited because I knew Nick had been there. :B Done. Now I also wanted to see the Rosetta stone, and buy a replica of one of them wee figurines which look like Wizard Chess men, and... and... and... hmm, they've got 699 998 other objects... ah well, no entrance fee. We donated some heavy small change we wanted to get rid of. 10 p.
• Temple Church: The da Vinci code goes there! (I'm suddenly happy I saw the Mona Lisa before a certain rumoured 6-week queue developed! Bloody fanatics! ;) The church was less crowded.) A sign said "We charge nothing for the pictures you take, so kindly donate ££ OR ELSE!!!" I felt rather bad about taking millions of shots and wearing out their floor, so I donated some more heavy pocket change. Must re-take Inferno Test.
• Kensington Gardens: I had no time for Hyde Park, but I've been there... and it was probably closed due to Live8. Btw. I obviously didn't know about Live8 when I decided to - leave - London - on - July - 1! STUPID BAHSTAH'D ME!!! What evil force keeps me out of U2:s way? I even missed their TV appearance, not to mention their upcoming concert in my town! Ahem... Anyway... Kensington Gardens, nice place.
• Forbidden Planet: Rich sci-fi shop (on 79 Shaftesbury Avenue, near Neal Street). But I found no Snape or Gríma action figures. I shall go and have a long good cry now. :( Maybe I was just in too much of a hurry, though.
• Alan in the Make Poverty History campaign: I knew there would be lovely Alany ads on the tube station walls. There were. Ahhh. Teh Wrist will possibly save the Earth!
• The da Vinci code parodies: I knew of two, and found them! The asti spumante code by Toby Clements, and The va Dinci cod by A.R.R.R. Roberts. Should be wonderful. >:B Flipping through The va Dinci cod in the shop, I discovered two signatures written in black ink... They looked authentic... I asked, and they were. The authors of the parody and the original (Dan Brown) had signed the book! I checked another one in the pile. Unsigned! :O HA!!! If I ever find myself in great need of cold hard cash, I shall E-bay the siggies to fanatics. But that wouldn't be fun.
• The Royal Court Theatre bar: Again! Twice. Staring at those stairs is so soothing. :) So is fantasising about all the chairs being taken, except... the one next to me... and Alan walks up and asks if I mind... (:B *SNAP* Cooooooosy. I'm only waiting for smoking to become illegal in British bars. *blows tar-filled nose generously on the great collective shirt of all arrogant anti-non-smoker smokers*
• Much pain & suffering: The days were too long for my feet and mum's back. Luckily, a bit of afternoon rest did the trick. Must... live, breathe... and... eat... London... to... the fullest...
• King's Cross Station: I had no business there, except to look for Platform 9.75! Unsuccessfully! I don't even think there were 9 platforms! :O *calls for lengthy therapy*
• ... and theatre...

We stayed at Piccadilly Backpackers Hotel (cough, cough, show me the ad money), and shared a dorm with a maximum of 6 other people.

INCLUDING GUYS!!! :O

Hey, I didn't know they had mixed dorms. a) Mum pretended to be a little upset about it. b) Aussies travel a lot, eh?

Anyway, the hostel is a wall-to-wall neighbour of Piccadilly Theatre. :D As y'all clearly remember from an earlier blog, during my last visit, the hostel staff attempted to cure my pervy Rickmania by informing me that young Master Ewan McGregor was doing a play at this very theatre. (Where Alan also did Tango at the end of winter in 1991, oh GOD, why do I have to be so slow to discover fave actors?! Hem hem.) I flew home and happened to force a Ewan fan to read the blog. I like Ewan, but this more major fan went bananas and wanted to find out more about the play. I thought I'd look around too, knowing I'd be back in London in the summer. (The Ewan fan is going this autumn. :B )

So, thanxx, hostel staff and C. :D The play was called Guys and dolls and would run well beyond the summer. Considering the considerable number of Ewan fans on Earth, I considered it best to order myself a ticket as soon as my London summer trip had been booked.

I also decided to look for the stage door. I KNEW that if it was at all findable, a crowd of young lasses covered in Ewan tattoos would make it easy to locate. I was correct... WOW...

*COUGH*Denman Street*COUGH*

The night before I saw the play, I went stage door-hunting. Rather early on, mum and I passed an alley crossing an alley crossing an alley (OK, street) crossing Piccadilly Circus. A few people stood looking out of the first alley. I don't ruddy look at people. Must maintain my asocial image.
Mum: "Well, there it was! Those were actors standing in the alley."
Yoze: "WhoTF do you think you are, Einstein?"
Mum: "But they were wearing 30's outfits, dear."
Yoze: *gag*

We dined at a nearby (everything was nearby) Thai restaurant where a mad electrician received a jolt from the AC (but survived) while a powerful, cosy thundercloud and rainshower arrived outside. I did not let that stop us from going back to the potential stage door - tonight's play had now ended. And there was the pack of females! In the rain! :D

A bunch of bodyguards, who were firm but gentle (huh, huh, huh), herded them. Autograph hunters on the theatre side of the street, photographers on the other. We placed ourselves there, I hadn't whipped up the courage to... hmmm... MEET EWAN!!! :O I had two more nights to get a siggy. Bah. Our sidewalk were told: "When Ewan McGregor comes out, do not cross the street!" Or we'd block it. A while passed. The rain breathed down the backs of our necks.

Photo-side girls: "Haha, we are so sad!"

I crouched under a Snapey black umbrella dangerously near splashing cars, so that I would be as close as possible to Ewan, hehe. After that While, the crowd stirred and I brought out the camera. Batteries died on me. I changed them. My camera batteries are very thrilling.

Guard: "OK, you can go home! Ewan McGregor isn't coming out here tonight! No autographs! No pictures!"
Stalkers: "Ha, ha... ha."
Guard: *moves past the point where one reveals a joke* "If you want autographs, come back tomorrow night around 10.20! 10.20! But he will not come out after the matinée!"
Yoze: "10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20..."
Stalkers: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

Although I naturally understand that one doesn't want to be stalked 24-7, I still would have wept and howled if I'd, like, used my life savings to travel from Australia to London for just one night (MOULIN ROUGE LINE!!!) to see the only person I ever loved. *cries for anyone to whom this applies*

*dabs eyes* Next day. June 29, 2005. British Museum. Forbidden Planet. Ill tube. THEATRE TICKET!!! Sweat. Soap. Gobble down baguette.

The charming well-acted true cute funny old musical caught sceptical me off my guard (huh, huh). It was totally OK. I only regret that I didn't bring binoculars... WTF was I thinking? Getting used to tiny theatres like the one in which Alan's play ran, am I? ;B There were rental binoculars for £1.50. Everyone asked everyone for change. Nuthin. Sniff. But no matter. There was only air between Ewan and me. I was in the same room as Ewan. I was inhaling wonderful amounts of water vapour recently exhaled by Ewan. :D Didn't my mama tell me not to exchange blood with strangers? Er... noooooshedidnt...

Too far away to recognise Ewan's face, I was still able to ID him by his lovely voice. :B (Well, eventually I noticed there was only one other main actor and that guy was balding.) Hey Yoze, finding out the names of people's characters in advance can be a good idea... :p

I had seen the matinée so I took care of a few other unimportant things, like... whatsitcalled, DINNER, while waiting for the magical 10.20. :S And I got extra batteries. Good for my heart. When I returned from Uncle Dave's Battery Shop (...) there were women standing around the stage door.

GASP! WOMEN?! REALLY?!

3 of them. They chatted with the guard about the horrible London traffic, and I rambled instructions to my mum the photographer, until it was time for those women to... step deep inside the alley and disappear. Maybe they were press. Or idol-date winners. I think I want to be too. The guard asked me if I was with them. Hehe, what if I'd said yes. :B

Now I found myself AT THE FRONT of a 10-minute queue of stalkers. I must have looked like the greatest Ewan appreciater ever. I didn't want the better fans behind me to believe this... However, I did want to watch a few others go for it, so I could try to avoid making some common mistake they might make. >:D

Yoze: *turns to pair of girls behind her* "Er... Would you like to step in front of me in the queue?"
Girls: "Um..." *frown & are certain beyond all doubt that yoze is mental & dangerous* "Whyyyy...?"
Yoze: "Cuz I'm... nervous... ehehe..." *shrinks*

Ha, let's just say there were probably some in the queue who were more nervous. But mine was a long story to tell strangers.

Girls: "You don't wanna be the first? OOOOOOK..." *step in front*
Mum: *leaps across street* "What are you DOING, Yoze?! You letting those two little brats STEP ON YOU? You need to stop being such a VICTIM!"
Yoze: *rolls eyes & sings robbie williams's misunderstood, solo... not*

The clouds thickened and rain started, and intensified. I borrowed mum's Snapey umbrella again and tried to fit the two front girls under it as well so they'd think I was less dangerous. Possibly got the opposite effect. I hope the dripping from its edge didn't ruin anything for them. <:B Gulp.

Guard: "Sigh, it's 50/50 now... He doesn't like rain."
Yoze: "I HATE LONDON!"

... I didn't say.

The crowd began to stir once more. Other theatre employees exited the alley and trotted off, but suddenly the stalkers emitted an unmistakable sort of: "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL!!!" I was 0.7 m from the corner, from behind which Ewan suddenly had appeared. :O His sleek hair shone in the night and I think he was smiling. (How should I remember?) According to my camera, this happened at 10.39pm. :) One or both of the girls in front of me got his siggy. No time for me to watch for mistakes. But at least I had made a mental note not to poke any of his pretty, radiant eyes out with my umbrella. :B

It now seemed I was the one closest to him. I hesitated for 8 ns while Ewan looked around for the next fangirl, or something. Then I gave him the CD leaflet from my Moulin Rouge soundtrack, along with my diary as a writing plate.

The following Deep Semi-Conversation is not necessarily complete or accurate. :p

Yoze: "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" :D

After an embarrassing tongue-tiedness which struck me in front of another celeb, I decided to clear my sorry throat during all subsequent celeb meetings by at least yelling this simple and disarming word, accompanied by a :D . At least I hope I was smiling. They say I don't smile enough, even when I believe I'm smiling. :p

Ewan: "Just move that a bit... Your umbrella..."

After the meeting with Ewan, Yoze decided to ensure that any umbrella in her hand during all subsequent celeb meetings was actually NOT obscuring anybody's view of items to be autographed.

Anyway, my mum says he touched the umbrella at this point! Awww, he didn't want me to do all the shifting and lifting alone! :x I don't feel up to E-baying that umbrella either.

I waved a silver pen I had bought earlier in the day, before I discovered he was using his own black pen. Smart man, he is. :9 And Ewan kindly wrote his name on the leaflet! :D I don't think our fingers touched or that our eyes met. And as always, I forgot to go for a handshake. :p You live, and learn not. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.

The Eternal Tongue-Tie: *lurks*
Guard: *does not fly to hawaii to give ewan & stalker private moment*
Ewan: *finishes up siggy*
Yoze: *makes up mind & inhales* "I enjoyed the show very much!"
Ewan: *hands back siggy and diary*
Yoze: "Thank you..." *takes a single... few... leaps across street & tries not to let umbrella ruin anybody's breathtaking view* "MUM! CAM! CAM! Watch the rain! Take this siggy... Don't smear it, now. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!"

I parked myself on the photographers' sidewalk and took as many pictures as I could, while observing that Ewan lets fans hug him. :9 Hhhhhhhhh... Hhhhhh... "Eeeheehee... Damn!" But I probably wouldn't have had the guts anyway! :O Would feel like I was harassing him! Feeling guilty about something already, am I? :p

Posing for pictures was not allowed, as it would have taken all night. Mmmmmm... Oh. Right. Rhyme. My last photo was snapped at 10.49pm, when Ewan had taken care of everyone in the queue, as I recall! :) Then he left us. Good-bye and good-nite and thank you, my pie. :D

Mum: "Hey, he was handsome! Looked like Bryan Adams! (:9 How old is he?"
Yoze: "30-summat... But save your bodily fluids, I think he's married."
Mum: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

This woman hated the 15 minutes of Moulin Rouge that she bothered to watch... Wonder if Trainspotting would be her cuppa tea? >:B

We waited the next evening too... Just another glimpse wouldn't have been too painful, eh? No rain, but no Ewan either. At least Jane Krakowski stopped by to sign a whole bunch of things. I wasn't quick enough to ask for a siggy myself, but took some pics of her posing with fans. :)

-------------------------------------------------

Umm, I believe it is time to cast off my resistance to true Ewan fandom (ie his place on my... highly respectable Fave Actors List) and let the fuzzy infatuation drug flow, the best it can. Sick of resisting just because... uh... he's young, pwetty, well-known and endowed with a huge army of Squealing Fangirls, unlike some people. :B Hmpf!

SNOBBY BAHSTAH'D ME!!! :p

But I've been appreciating his acting for years... (HELLOOOOOOO?! TEH VERSATILITY! ME LOVES!) And... hehe... his beauty for... months... since I finally saw Moulin Rouge. ;) *pinches cheeks* The first time I got a good look at him went like this in my diary:

"November 24, 1998, Tuesday
... Then ER was... good as hell. First time I saw Ewan McGregor, he was cool ..."

I think he made me bawl, and I even sorta remember one of his lines. "You didn't want that man to die either!" Right? :D I've had other good times in the tele-company of Ewan:

"September 3, 1999, Friday
... Then Trainspotting aired. Cool! We taped it ..."

Drugs are baaaaad, mmm'kay?

"November 4, 2002, Monday
... Then I felt like watching Trainspotting and did so ... I ate ice-cream with chocolate sauce while watching the diarrhea scene ..."

That's strange. I remember it being chocolate pudding. With whipped cream. Blargh, those were my more sinful days. Anyway. Memory is a fascinating thing. *mumble*

"January 15, 2005, Saturday
... Then I taped Moulin Rouge ... Btw the film was kinda funny (similar to Shakespeare in love...), and the 30 billion Ewan fans are not wrong ..."

"January 18, 2005, Tuesday
... Well, now I watched Moulin Rouge again ... maybe I'll buy it ... [Hey, you try watching it with the songs subtitled. :p ] Ewan, too, is of course more than OK."

Can't say that sitting through one entire Star wars in 1999 was such a good time, but I remember another Ewan line. "Yes master." Go me.

Yes! I can feel the fuzz, master! Think I'll start following his career now - perhaps even watch a Star wars or two, before I go toes-up! :O (But let's not rush things. :p ) No, I haven't seen a lot of his work. <:B Bully me not, master.

Teh stolen questionnaire

1. What's on your desktop?
Lethally beautiful b&w Alan.
2. What book are you reading right now?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, by... GASP... JK Rowling, IS IT? for the 2nd time. :D
3. What's on your mouse pad?
Golfer in vv tall grass... I don't golf...
4. Favorite board game?
*runs*
5. Favorite magazine?
Probably the local paper's TV guide... :)
6. Favorite smells?
Horse (I prefer deep inhalation from no distance at all, mmm, I'll have 500 000 grams please), fresh bread, jasmine, garlic, burning wood, pizza.
7. Least favorite smells?
Dog shite, corpse, armpit.
8. Worst feeling in the world?
Shame?
9. Favorite sounds?
Teh Voice, some music, owl bunch, blackbird, black-throated loon, common swift, chaffinch, willow warbler, running horses, mumbling horses, British and Irish accents, thunder, night rain outside an open window, Ellen being talkative. :9
10. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
"Alan's siggy! Yay!!"
11. How many rings before you answer the phone?
One if it's from my mum, otherwise an infinite number as it's never for me.
12. Favorite colour?
Purple maybe...
13. Do you like your name?
It's aight... A bit long and pretentious. :p
14. Who were you named after?
Some biblical hero! Or why not a random name book!
15. Favorite food?
Pizza with soy sausages/bacon/cheese... and a fluffy crust.
16. Do you drive fast?
30 kmph: "GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!"
50 kmph: "Snooooore..."
70 kmph: "Ahhhhh."
90 kmph: "Weeeee!"
110 kmph: "I'd love to blink some time."
130 kmph: "Yay! Car chase!"
17. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate.
18. Worst disaster you fear?
Is mutilation a disaster? If not, well, nuke war and meteorites ain't no picnics. Suicide would be. Praise suicide! Erm.
19. Storms, cool or scary?
Cool! Reading indoors or being showered by the ocean outdoors. :)
20. What was your first (dream) car?
Some black Corvette, now probably a silver-blue Jaguar XKR or summat.
21. If you could meet someone dead or alive, who would it be?
Nicholas Lea, who, for the record, is alive! :D
22. What is your zodiac sign?
Virgo.
23. Favorite drink?
Russian tea blend with oat cream.
24. Favorite vegetable?
Garlic. *rolling on the floor drooling my arse off*
25. If you could have any job, what would it be?
Writer. XD
26. Hair, long or short?
Longer than Snape's (HAIR), but soon it'll be of similar length. :)
27. How many times have you been in love?
I suppose Nick and Alan have come close.
28. Is the glass half-empty or half-full?
Eh? *is too busy staring at the man who just entered the three broomsticks pub*
29. Do you type with your fingers over the right keys?
Dunno, but at least people faint when they see how bloody fast I type. Aye.
30. Favorite movie?
Lunch with Charles.
31. What's under your bed?
"Shadows and dust."
And some files and notepads.
32. Favorite number?
9, 22, 62, 394.
33. Favorite sport to watch?
Showjumping.
34. PC or MAC?
I am a PC slave.
35. What's on your nightstand?
Medical book, old film mags, old newspapers, old notepad, old diary, DVD remote.
36. How many pillows on your bed?
Cylindrical, huge, normal.
37. In case of fire what will you remember to take with you? Comp, Alan's siggy, Once a thief = rare TV series starring the lovely Nick.
38. What/who do you admire?
Artists, of many kinds, I guess... :p
39. What do you think is the best thing ever invented?
Tasty soy products. :q Writing.
40. Most influential person?
On me? WHAT ARE YOU, SHRINKS?!
41. Favorite places?
Lake Louise, Gotland (brought back by jasmines & common swifts), Bohuslän, Norway (until I see New Zealand), Leicester Square, Montmartre.
42. Do you say your prayers?
Only personal mumblings directed at non-existing "deity" minutes before I am given exam results.
43. Minutes you spend in a shower?
20.
44. Most prized possession?
Brain, hands, eyes, diaries, Alan's siggy. :)
45. What's your best asset?
Mortality ---> I won't hang around bothering this place forever.
46. Jewellery you wear?
Utterly antique (ie 30-year-old) silvery Gambian bracelet, personally composed steel bracelet, Slytherin bracelet, white band, hummingbird-rat-wolf necklace, another bird necklace... + watch.
47. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke... 'Course, Robbie Williams did do a Pepsi ad...!
48. What did you have for breakfast?
Teh tea, some sandwich.
49. Favorite time of the year?
Late spring... if it weren't for school. Crisp autumn... if it weren't for school.
50. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
*blank stare* My my, will you look at the time...

Blow up the planet, quick!!!

More old news...

Our wonderful exam results came back... after 3 weeks, which would be normal, but I was still chewing my own arm and becoming phobic of all things geology: "AAAAAAAAAA, ROCK!!! CLOUD!!! CLOUD!!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!"
Cuz:

• Everyone wanted to kick somebody's arse after said exam, which had consisted of 9 unfairly picky little questions from 539645 teachers (OK...) after a 10-week course and promises of exam questions about The Big Picture
• Down at another institution the tradition is to actually hurry up with the exam marking which has made me a spoiled brat
• All my other courses have been ~5 weeks... This one was 10. Double waste of time, it might have been
• They didn't tell us exactly which pages to read. Book had 700 of them. "Oh, just all of them. Pretty much." In the last coupla weeks we were given a list. Could have skipped a fair few pages after all and played in the sun. Though half the time when teachers say one should read the whole book, it means "at some point in your life"
• Number of pages per course day: Normal. UNLESS one considers that we spent almost half the course doing a project, field trip, etc. Unfair number of pages, in the end
• Kindly enough, they had lowered the original magic limit by 2%. Awww. ONE OF WHICH SAVED MY SORRY ARSE!!!

Now bow down to me because I saved you from this geo-course which you had all planned on taking anyway, right!

I PASSED THE EXAM!!!
*lands, panting, with a thud on the asphalt*
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ASPHALT!!!)
6 people failed, 16 OK, 3 ruddy brilliant sorta. I was the second worst of the unfailed bunch.
PHEW ANYWAY!!! OMFG!!!
Not my worst uni result ever, but I've never been so close to FAILURE!!! 59%!
*sweats and stares into canyon*
(CANYON!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!)
I did score about 80% when I tried the book's much larger online self-test though, so WTF!?

Well. LUCKY BAHSTAH'D ME!!!

The worst result, I suppose, was from one Potions exam.
Hmpf. Potions schmotions.
(NOT REALLY, IN MY CASE!!! BOOOOHOOO!!!)
Rock schmock.
Geo-teacher: "And over there in the corner of the picture is some... ah, some of that green bio schmio stuff. Let's move on."

--------------------------

On the 0th day of summer, I visited the city's most beloved record shop where REM were slated to sign things at 5pm. I only like one of their songs, Reno-something, which reminds me of a time when I was through-the-roof anxious about something. Anyway, I thought a snapshot of Michael Stipe would be fun to have in the celeb collection since I had been tortured with, erm, I mean hearing REM songs on the radio and MTV for 8 years.

I lurked around. The shop was mysteriously quiet. I foraged for every CD I could think of while glancing into all the dark corners, then I gave up, bought some moderately complete Lord of the Rings soundtrack and spotted the REM ad. They signed at 3pm, not 5pm.

STUPID BAHSTAH'D ME!!!

LUCKY BAHSTAH'D ME, THAT I DO NOT LOVE THEM!!!

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I wished a damn happy 43rd b-day to Nicholas Lea on JUNE 22!!! :D