I had a deep semi-conversation with Ewan McGregor!

*is forcefully dragged off london-gothenburg plane, though panting happily*

June 27 - July 1 (CANADA DAY, WOOHOO) 2005: My 4th visit - but my first proper touristy London holiday since 1999... Beware of The da Vinci code spoilers!

Activities, buys and sights:

• Alan-stalking: I didn't care to conduct any hard-arse research just before I went, so I trusted some dim memories of location names I had picked up online, way back. (Worry not, Alan, I never broke into anything. Just strolled through potentially holy 'hoods. :x ) And besides, I hear he was in the US on June 27, at least...! :p
• Buckingham Palace: I walked past it. No, just joking. I stopped and created an enormous sand painting saying "ASK TEH RICKMAN IF HE WOULD LIKE TO BE KNIGHTED, FOR BOB'S SAKE!!!" (in the typeface Jokerman) on the ground of the court yard. No, I didn't. Really. REALLY!!! But I was consuming a Calippo Orange at the time. Huh, huh, huh.
• Camden Market: My mum seemed most excited about visiting markets. I bought heaps of sh*t. Namely, a bag of tea called Notting Hill :D which smells yummy, like a popsicle. (Gasp, I appear unable to drop the subject of popsicles.)
• General celeb-stalking: We took a walk from the Notting Hill Gate tube station. :B Aight. Years ago, I read that Gillian Anderson had settled on Xxxxxxxxxx Road, so I stumbled onto it. Yay.
• Westminster Abbey: Nick Lea is from New Westminster, so maybe he visited the ole church for fun! And it's packed with dead celebs! And The da Vinci code goes there! I was most thrilled to see the Chapter House (with which The da Vinci code people wouldn't have had to bother if they'd let me work out that PIECA CAKEY password) and a coronation chair made in 1301 :O , along with the graves of Edward I (Braveheart baddie, hehe, who had the coronation chair made), Elizabeth I (usually, what LITTLE history I know, I learn from films... :p Er, whatever works... No, seems they're rarely accurate... And Elizabeth bored me although Cate kix arse :/ ), Newton (whose grave was in The da Vinci code! Oh, and he also helped to make the world see reason and believe in science and all that, splendid), Churchill (if he was really there, I'm not sure) and Darwin, whose grave I just had to touch! With both of my palms! Lucky it wasn't behind a fence. Then I hammered 8 chips out of it to sell on E-bay, licked the entire stone slab twice so it would be very nice and clean, and emptied a whole barrel of flower petals of every species and colour onto it! No. You know I don't go for bearded dudes!
• British Museum: In 1999, I visited because I knew Nick had been there. :B Done. Now I also wanted to see the Rosetta stone, and buy a replica of one of them wee figurines which look like Wizard Chess men, and... and... and... hmm, they've got 699 998 other objects... ah well, no entrance fee. We donated some heavy small change we wanted to get rid of. 10 p.
• Temple Church: The da Vinci code goes there! (I'm suddenly happy I saw the Mona Lisa before a certain rumoured 6-week queue developed! Bloody fanatics! ;) The church was less crowded.) A sign said "We charge nothing for the pictures you take, so kindly donate ££ OR ELSE!!!" I felt rather bad about taking millions of shots and wearing out their floor, so I donated some more heavy pocket change. Must re-take Inferno Test.
• Kensington Gardens: I had no time for Hyde Park, but I've been there... and it was probably closed due to Live8. Btw. I obviously didn't know about Live8 when I decided to - leave - London - on - July - 1! STUPID BAHSTAH'D ME!!! What evil force keeps me out of U2:s way? I even missed their TV appearance, not to mention their upcoming concert in my town! Ahem... Anyway... Kensington Gardens, nice place.
• Forbidden Planet: Rich sci-fi shop (on 79 Shaftesbury Avenue, near Neal Street). But I found no Snape or Gríma action figures. I shall go and have a long good cry now. :( Maybe I was just in too much of a hurry, though.
• Alan in the Make Poverty History campaign: I knew there would be lovely Alany ads on the tube station walls. There were. Ahhh. Teh Wrist will possibly save the Earth!
• The da Vinci code parodies: I knew of two, and found them! The asti spumante code by Toby Clements, and The va Dinci cod by A.R.R.R. Roberts. Should be wonderful. >:B Flipping through The va Dinci cod in the shop, I discovered two signatures written in black ink... They looked authentic... I asked, and they were. The authors of the parody and the original (Dan Brown) had signed the book! I checked another one in the pile. Unsigned! :O HA!!! If I ever find myself in great need of cold hard cash, I shall E-bay the siggies to fanatics. But that wouldn't be fun.
• The Royal Court Theatre bar: Again! Twice. Staring at those stairs is so soothing. :) So is fantasising about all the chairs being taken, except... the one next to me... and Alan walks up and asks if I mind... (:B *SNAP* Cooooooosy. I'm only waiting for smoking to become illegal in British bars. *blows tar-filled nose generously on the great collective shirt of all arrogant anti-non-smoker smokers*
• Much pain & suffering: The days were too long for my feet and mum's back. Luckily, a bit of afternoon rest did the trick. Must... live, breathe... and... eat... London... to... the fullest...
• King's Cross Station: I had no business there, except to look for Platform 9.75! Unsuccessfully! I don't even think there were 9 platforms! :O *calls for lengthy therapy*
• ... and theatre...

We stayed at Piccadilly Backpackers Hotel (cough, cough, show me the ad money), and shared a dorm with a maximum of 6 other people.

INCLUDING GUYS!!! :O

Hey, I didn't know they had mixed dorms. a) Mum pretended to be a little upset about it. b) Aussies travel a lot, eh?

Anyway, the hostel is a wall-to-wall neighbour of Piccadilly Theatre. :D As y'all clearly remember from an earlier blog, during my last visit, the hostel staff attempted to cure my pervy Rickmania by informing me that young Master Ewan McGregor was doing a play at this very theatre. (Where Alan also did Tango at the end of winter in 1991, oh GOD, why do I have to be so slow to discover fave actors?! Hem hem.) I flew home and happened to force a Ewan fan to read the blog. I like Ewan, but this more major fan went bananas and wanted to find out more about the play. I thought I'd look around too, knowing I'd be back in London in the summer. (The Ewan fan is going this autumn. :B )

So, thanxx, hostel staff and C. :D The play was called Guys and dolls and would run well beyond the summer. Considering the considerable number of Ewan fans on Earth, I considered it best to order myself a ticket as soon as my London summer trip had been booked.

I also decided to look for the stage door. I KNEW that if it was at all findable, a crowd of young lasses covered in Ewan tattoos would make it easy to locate. I was correct... WOW...

*COUGH*Denman Street*COUGH*

The night before I saw the play, I went stage door-hunting. Rather early on, mum and I passed an alley crossing an alley crossing an alley (OK, street) crossing Piccadilly Circus. A few people stood looking out of the first alley. I don't ruddy look at people. Must maintain my asocial image.
Mum: "Well, there it was! Those were actors standing in the alley."
Yoze: "WhoTF do you think you are, Einstein?"
Mum: "But they were wearing 30's outfits, dear."
Yoze: *gag*

We dined at a nearby (everything was nearby) Thai restaurant where a mad electrician received a jolt from the AC (but survived) while a powerful, cosy thundercloud and rainshower arrived outside. I did not let that stop us from going back to the potential stage door - tonight's play had now ended. And there was the pack of females! In the rain! :D

A bunch of bodyguards, who were firm but gentle (huh, huh, huh), herded them. Autograph hunters on the theatre side of the street, photographers on the other. We placed ourselves there, I hadn't whipped up the courage to... hmmm... MEET EWAN!!! :O I had two more nights to get a siggy. Bah. Our sidewalk were told: "When Ewan McGregor comes out, do not cross the street!" Or we'd block it. A while passed. The rain breathed down the backs of our necks.

Photo-side girls: "Haha, we are so sad!"

I crouched under a Snapey black umbrella dangerously near splashing cars, so that I would be as close as possible to Ewan, hehe. After that While, the crowd stirred and I brought out the camera. Batteries died on me. I changed them. My camera batteries are very thrilling.

Guard: "OK, you can go home! Ewan McGregor isn't coming out here tonight! No autographs! No pictures!"
Stalkers: "Ha, ha... ha."
Guard: *moves past the point where one reveals a joke* "If you want autographs, come back tomorrow night around 10.20! 10.20! But he will not come out after the matinée!"
Yoze: "10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20..."
Stalkers: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

Although I naturally understand that one doesn't want to be stalked 24-7, I still would have wept and howled if I'd, like, used my life savings to travel from Australia to London for just one night (MOULIN ROUGE LINE!!!) to see the only person I ever loved. *cries for anyone to whom this applies*

*dabs eyes* Next day. June 29, 2005. British Museum. Forbidden Planet. Ill tube. THEATRE TICKET!!! Sweat. Soap. Gobble down baguette.

The charming well-acted true cute funny old musical caught sceptical me off my guard (huh, huh). It was totally OK. I only regret that I didn't bring binoculars... WTF was I thinking? Getting used to tiny theatres like the one in which Alan's play ran, am I? ;B There were rental binoculars for £1.50. Everyone asked everyone for change. Nuthin. Sniff. But no matter. There was only air between Ewan and me. I was in the same room as Ewan. I was inhaling wonderful amounts of water vapour recently exhaled by Ewan. :D Didn't my mama tell me not to exchange blood with strangers? Er... noooooshedidnt...

Too far away to recognise Ewan's face, I was still able to ID him by his lovely voice. :B (Well, eventually I noticed there was only one other main actor and that guy was balding.) Hey Yoze, finding out the names of people's characters in advance can be a good idea... :p

I had seen the matinée so I took care of a few other unimportant things, like... whatsitcalled, DINNER, while waiting for the magical 10.20. :S And I got extra batteries. Good for my heart. When I returned from Uncle Dave's Battery Shop (...) there were women standing around the stage door.

GASP! WOMEN?! REALLY?!

3 of them. They chatted with the guard about the horrible London traffic, and I rambled instructions to my mum the photographer, until it was time for those women to... step deep inside the alley and disappear. Maybe they were press. Or idol-date winners. I think I want to be too. The guard asked me if I was with them. Hehe, what if I'd said yes. :B

Now I found myself AT THE FRONT of a 10-minute queue of stalkers. I must have looked like the greatest Ewan appreciater ever. I didn't want the better fans behind me to believe this... However, I did want to watch a few others go for it, so I could try to avoid making some common mistake they might make. >:D

Yoze: *turns to pair of girls behind her* "Er... Would you like to step in front of me in the queue?"
Girls: "Um..." *frown & are certain beyond all doubt that yoze is mental & dangerous* "Whyyyy...?"
Yoze: "Cuz I'm... nervous... ehehe..." *shrinks*

Ha, let's just say there were probably some in the queue who were more nervous. But mine was a long story to tell strangers.

Girls: "You don't wanna be the first? OOOOOOK..." *step in front*
Mum: *leaps across street* "What are you DOING, Yoze?! You letting those two little brats STEP ON YOU? You need to stop being such a VICTIM!"
Yoze: *rolls eyes & sings robbie williams's misunderstood, solo... not*

The clouds thickened and rain started, and intensified. I borrowed mum's Snapey umbrella again and tried to fit the two front girls under it as well so they'd think I was less dangerous. Possibly got the opposite effect. I hope the dripping from its edge didn't ruin anything for them. <:B Gulp.

Guard: "Sigh, it's 50/50 now... He doesn't like rain."
Yoze: "I HATE LONDON!"

... I didn't say.

The crowd began to stir once more. Other theatre employees exited the alley and trotted off, but suddenly the stalkers emitted an unmistakable sort of: "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL!!!" I was 0.7 m from the corner, from behind which Ewan suddenly had appeared. :O His sleek hair shone in the night and I think he was smiling. (How should I remember?) According to my camera, this happened at 10.39pm. :) One or both of the girls in front of me got his siggy. No time for me to watch for mistakes. But at least I had made a mental note not to poke any of his pretty, radiant eyes out with my umbrella. :B

It now seemed I was the one closest to him. I hesitated for 8 ns while Ewan looked around for the next fangirl, or something. Then I gave him the CD leaflet from my Moulin Rouge soundtrack, along with my diary as a writing plate.

The following Deep Semi-Conversation is not necessarily complete or accurate. :p

Yoze: "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" :D

After an embarrassing tongue-tiedness which struck me in front of another celeb, I decided to clear my sorry throat during all subsequent celeb meetings by at least yelling this simple and disarming word, accompanied by a :D . At least I hope I was smiling. They say I don't smile enough, even when I believe I'm smiling. :p

Ewan: "Just move that a bit... Your umbrella..."

After the meeting with Ewan, Yoze decided to ensure that any umbrella in her hand during all subsequent celeb meetings was actually NOT obscuring anybody's view of items to be autographed.

Anyway, my mum says he touched the umbrella at this point! Awww, he didn't want me to do all the shifting and lifting alone! :x I don't feel up to E-baying that umbrella either.

I waved a silver pen I had bought earlier in the day, before I discovered he was using his own black pen. Smart man, he is. :9 And Ewan kindly wrote his name on the leaflet! :D I don't think our fingers touched or that our eyes met. And as always, I forgot to go for a handshake. :p You live, and learn not. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.

The Eternal Tongue-Tie: *lurks*
Guard: *does not fly to hawaii to give ewan & stalker private moment*
Ewan: *finishes up siggy*
Yoze: *makes up mind & inhales* "I enjoyed the show very much!"
Ewan: *hands back siggy and diary*
Yoze: "Thank you..." *takes a single... few... leaps across street & tries not to let umbrella ruin anybody's breathtaking view* "MUM! CAM! CAM! Watch the rain! Take this siggy... Don't smear it, now. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!"

I parked myself on the photographers' sidewalk and took as many pictures as I could, while observing that Ewan lets fans hug him. :9 Hhhhhhhhh... Hhhhhh... "Eeeheehee... Damn!" But I probably wouldn't have had the guts anyway! :O Would feel like I was harassing him! Feeling guilty about something already, am I? :p

Posing for pictures was not allowed, as it would have taken all night. Mmmmmm... Oh. Right. Rhyme. My last photo was snapped at 10.49pm, when Ewan had taken care of everyone in the queue, as I recall! :) Then he left us. Good-bye and good-nite and thank you, my pie. :D

Mum: "Hey, he was handsome! Looked like Bryan Adams! (:9 How old is he?"
Yoze: "30-summat... But save your bodily fluids, I think he's married."
Mum: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

This woman hated the 15 minutes of Moulin Rouge that she bothered to watch... Wonder if Trainspotting would be her cuppa tea? >:B

We waited the next evening too... Just another glimpse wouldn't have been too painful, eh? No rain, but no Ewan either. At least Jane Krakowski stopped by to sign a whole bunch of things. I wasn't quick enough to ask for a siggy myself, but took some pics of her posing with fans. :)

-------------------------------------------------

Umm, I believe it is time to cast off my resistance to true Ewan fandom (ie his place on my... highly respectable Fave Actors List) and let the fuzzy infatuation drug flow, the best it can. Sick of resisting just because... uh... he's young, pwetty, well-known and endowed with a huge army of Squealing Fangirls, unlike some people. :B Hmpf!

SNOBBY BAHSTAH'D ME!!! :p

But I've been appreciating his acting for years... (HELLOOOOOOO?! TEH VERSATILITY! ME LOVES!) And... hehe... his beauty for... months... since I finally saw Moulin Rouge. ;) *pinches cheeks* The first time I got a good look at him went like this in my diary:

"November 24, 1998, Tuesday
... Then ER was... good as hell. First time I saw Ewan McGregor, he was cool ..."

I think he made me bawl, and I even sorta remember one of his lines. "You didn't want that man to die either!" Right? :D I've had other good times in the tele-company of Ewan:

"September 3, 1999, Friday
... Then Trainspotting aired. Cool! We taped it ..."

Drugs are baaaaad, mmm'kay?

"November 4, 2002, Monday
... Then I felt like watching Trainspotting and did so ... I ate ice-cream with chocolate sauce while watching the diarrhea scene ..."

That's strange. I remember it being chocolate pudding. With whipped cream. Blargh, those were my more sinful days. Anyway. Memory is a fascinating thing. *mumble*

"January 15, 2005, Saturday
... Then I taped Moulin Rouge ... Btw the film was kinda funny (similar to Shakespeare in love...), and the 30 billion Ewan fans are not wrong ..."

"January 18, 2005, Tuesday
... Well, now I watched Moulin Rouge again ... maybe I'll buy it ... [Hey, you try watching it with the songs subtitled. :p ] Ewan, too, is of course more than OK."

Can't say that sitting through one entire Star wars in 1999 was such a good time, but I remember another Ewan line. "Yes master." Go me.

Yes! I can feel the fuzz, master! Think I'll start following his career now - perhaps even watch a Star wars or two, before I go toes-up! :O (But let's not rush things. :p ) No, I haven't seen a lot of his work. <:B Bully me not, master.