The Jason conversation

I did promise a blog post to someone out there. :) Anyway, these divine events require recording. (It's been a while, I've been busy. Kinda.) OK, I've got my diary, but here's the international version. Dan happenings in purple, Jason stuff in blue. Up, up and away.

Diary 30 - July 31, 2006:
"...Then Metro said that next year Dan [-iel Radcliffe] is gonna be in some erotic London play about a... stable boy. And be naked on stage. ROTF!! Alan did that too. I so have to see that one. Which I would have done even if he didn't strip, pervs. Btw, how easy it'll be to get tix for this."

When, after many months, I even found me a source of tix for Equus, I thought long and hard about when to go. The play would run till June 9! Should I go then, and hang around in the UK until the HP 5 premiere, maybe even look for some roomies and a job, or at least go then so I could enjoy having survived the much feared spring course, but what if Dan didn't stay with the play that long and hey, while I'm on this ticket site I should check if there are any other interesting plays actors I could see, I mean, what if Dan is ill on the wrong day, *type type search* OMG Jason Isaacs will be in The dumb waiter till March 24, damn scary spring course will ruin my peace of mind I'm sure but HERE IS A FITTING TIME WINDOW IN MY SCHEDULE BETWEEN MARCH 22 AND MARCH 27! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I booked plays, flights, hostel and gave Native Energy a lil something. My mum suddenly decided to go with me to the great city and made it look like I forced her. :p All the same, since I had picked a late nite flite it would be useful to have a bodyguard for the 15 minutes between Victoria Coach Station and the hostel. And it's nice to have someone help you look for tube signs and stuff.

It was I who read 97% of the signs on the trip. BRAIN EXERCISE!

But here is the story now, not completely chronologically jumbled.

MARCH 22. I figured out how to solve (easy) sudoku puzzles which cut into my valuable packing time. BRAIN EXERCISE! However, we took off (40 minutes late) and the plane did not lose a single wing. Our luggage had ended up in the same airport, and we found the buses even though the last sign pointing to them was oddly positioned.

See, I had been tipped off about Terravision in London 2005, so now I would try them instead of the twice as expensive train. We just missed one bus (they left every 15 minutes) and the driver of the next one was 45 minutes late. He then drove directly to Victoria, not via Liverpool Street as planned. Lucky we were getting off there. Some others were not. One bloke went hysterical and screamed that he didn't wanna go on a sightseeing trip, so he called the coppers. Other travellers, who weren't even hysterical, received no reply from the driver when they said he was going the wrong way. Uh...

By now, it was so late, cold and scary that my mum and I "had to" take a taxi to the hostel. (Her idea.) After our wild adventures we got into bed around 2 am. :)

MARCH 23. 10 years since I first saw my dah'ling Nicholas Lea! (Eh... On TV.) We checked the location of the Equus venue, Gielgud Theatre, which was... 2 blocks away. Gawd, do they wish to wear out my soles? I miss those good old days when my play of choice ran NEXT DOOR, SNIFFLE. *stagger stagger* EXERCISE! Actually, we had already spotted the MASSIVE POSTER the night before. So making sure I knew the way to Trafalgar Studios (JASONTHEATRE!) was of greater importance. We found it exactly where it had been on the map! Weeeee! Just south of Trafalgar Square, also on a walking distance from the hostel. The theatre opened 10 minutes later, I collected my precious ticket, stole a couple of playbills (the Equus ticket had been mailed to me for some reason), and located the stage door...

We visited Harrod's, where my mum had not been since 1999. :) Not to shop, just to gasp at the products and prices. I did see those mugs that celebs had painted for charity though... And there was one by Ewan... :B I've got 5000000 mugs... Moreover, I had fond memories of Harrod's 50's style fridges, and their pet equipment. :O This year I found some neat art, too. I only brought home names.

It was my Equus night! I picked up a coupla playbills in the foyer, since I was going siggy-hunting afterwards and had read that Dan would not sign Harry Potter material, for fear of E-bayers or something. After I went up to the 2nd floor I would not be allowed back down, but from there I could see programmes being sold downstairs. Hmm, WHAT if Dan would only sign programmes? After all there is a greater chance that someone flashing a programme is a real fan, and... :p Luckily, a bloke appeared next to me with a bunch of programmes in his arms. Cool.
My seat was not the worst ever, better than at Guys and dolls. And more expensive. :B Grand Circle, row 2, seat 20. This is where I artsily pretend that I cared LOADS about whether I liked the play. :B It was neat. Comments:

~Dan wasn't ill!
~Richard Griffiths wasn't ill! I had never seen him before.
~I always suspected that a shrink might slay MY passions. One of my excuses for never going to one and be given fun pills. Imagine if one cured me, or made me believe I was normal, or made me automatically behave normally, I dunno, by shooting me with staplers every time my small talk ceased for 2 s... My possible gift might get flushed down the same undivable toilet. Just a feeling. Lately I've had more reason to believe this. :q
~Horses are so worshippable. :)~I think the movements that the wire-headed horse actors made when spooked were cool. :B
~JUUUUUUUUUST wondering in an über-literal way... How does one rilly stick a hoofpick into both of a horse's eyes? Would it stand still for 0,5 ns after the first stab? "Easy Nugget, I'm just gonna poke yer eye out. There, not so bad, was it? Shhh, still, while I move my hand along the width of your forehead. Ahhh! NOW it hurts, so you may go bananas and kick open the door! GOOD BOY! Weee!"
~0 fangirls screamed at the sight of Naked!Dan.
~Not even my brain exploded from Naked Bloke OD. (I don't get to the meat market a lot, ya know.)
~2 days after the play, I realised that an actor from Van Helsing was in it! Will Kemp, the wolfie? I THOUGHT his... hair... looked familiar.
Afterwards, to avoid looking 100% stalkish or anything, I WALKED to the stage door, which was perhaps why I got to stand in 3rd row. :/ Dan exited the door though! :D Now I've got a Bearded!Dan-snapshot too!

MARCH 24. I had a cold hair wash (we were on the 6th floor, and hadn't been so smart as to sneak into the 3rd floor... the previous night, although there was a notice about hot water shortages 8-10 am... MY EARS!) before we went and behaved just like shoppers except I was about to shop nothing inedible and knew it. It was all right fun staring at all the fabric and glitter, however, and in any case I had to pass by Hamleys and shadowly re-live my POSSIBLE Sacha sighting (November 5, 2005... Remember, Lo?:) But if that WAS Sacha, why was he dressed as Ali G, considering Ali G was superfamous by then (no?) and thus in his grave (no?). Think of all the Ali G impersonators who must lurk out there... Like dem Elvis ones... Well, this enormous mystery will torment me till I die. Or till I see Sacha (?) again (?). :B AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?! *stares at pic yoze was clever nuff to snap even tho she was not obsessed at the time* That height... Eh? I remember his legs. :)

Actually, I was mostly killing time. Staying in one's hostel room to study is a sin, and outside it was too cold to chill (HAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!) in any park. Oh, and while I was doing the time, I tried to look at... gasp... HUMAN FACES... in case I'd meet some celeb. Hehe. Alas, everyone in town were Spanish or Swedish tourists. Aye.

I was waiting for the matiné of The dumb waiter to end, so I could position myself outside the stage door! I lurked a little way away for a bit and saw about 4 people outside to start with, so I sauntered up to them. The crowd filled up... like, after the play really ended... While hugging my little ole Chamber of Secrets, I was given a note about a huge DEATHLY HALLOWS UK RELEASE PARTY which I prolly will be unable to attend. XC

Some random people went through the stage door, but at last, there was JASON! :O Sporting a beard, a nice voice I barely recognised (after having listened to too much of chalkboard-Lucius, I presume :B) and Teh Eyes! The crowd was cool and no one fainted, or shot into the sky. So I could wait relatively calmly. A coupla Gryffindor ladies had come all the way from Vegas to see him and told him so. Jason: "You DIDN'T! :D" He was then told about the huge release party but said he wouldn't be able to go since he would be in Rhode Island. Oh aye, it's still that TV show, innit? D'oh! Lucky I didn't count on seeing him at the Order premiere then... :p

After some time and some signings, the next fan in the clump-shaped line was I! +) The book was ready. So ready. Jason signed it "Jason Isaacs x", so I suppose we have kissed on paper now. :x Anyway, I told him "I'm not seeing the play until tonight, I'm afraid..." to which he replied (paraphrased, 'xcept for the word in green) "That's all right, it'll probably be sloppy tonight though, since it's the last one!" "Hehe, no problem!" :p And he turned to the next fan. He was in a bit of a hurry to leave and get pressies for his kid (when he did leave, he left at a run!), but left no fan disappointed as far as me old eyes could see. :q And I got time for photos, too, though I did not ask for any posing. He still stared straight at my cam once, while posing with some others. :B

With my life nearer heavenly completeness, I euphoria-hovered back to the hostel just to eat and such. Soon it was high time to return to Trafalgar Studios. Due to all the detailed adventures I was of course lagging behind diary-wise, and wrote for a coupla hours at the theatre before The dumb waiter. I expected it to be extremely weird, seeing how it was written by a Nobel prize winner and all. Funnier than expected, however. I thought Jason was the superior actor (and not sloppy). So was my seat... relative to most of the other seats. 5th row! Also got a good many minutes of extra Jason Presence as the characters were already on stage, quiet and still, when the audience welled in. Lee Evans was under a blanket but Jason was reading a paper!

I, everyone else, and a taxi were soon outside the stage door. Lee Evans came out and wrote siggies and such, I didn't ask for one but got pics. Suddenly, while he was posing with a fan, there was someone doing the V-sign over his head. JASON RETURNS! I hung around while the crowd swooped down upon him. But... once, when someone asked to have their pic taken with him... the camera was placed in my hands! :D By Jason? Why did JASON and not the fan hand some fan's cam to me? Dream? :9 No. At least Jason posed for me, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I nearly missed my chance, but when Jason seemed finished with everybody there and moved towards the taxi I piped up "Jason!" and extended my hand which he shook and I said "Lovely performance, thank you for everything! :B" I was meaning the movies, the siggies, the play, the chatting, the posing, the handshake and all that. He... answered something. :) Then he thanked the whole bunch, and boarded the taxi.

After waving at the holy vehicle I would have glided away, Dementor style, but I ran/powerwalked back to the Gielgud. Just in time for another place in 3rd Row Of The Dan Fan Crowd. Hoping some Jason fans would have been less than accurate concerning Dan's siggy-signing rules ("First row only"), I stuck out my programme again when Dan passed by. No luck. Forgive me, everyone whom I probably decapitated with the pages of the programme while fiddling with me camera.

5 minutes later I bumped into my mum. Not so fat a chance. We went coolly into a cool pub where I downed an Orange Potion and flashed the Jason siggy to her.

MARCH 25. Sunday, so no stage dooring to be done, I suppose. We checked out a few markets, got lost in some empty business district, relaxed by the river, and spent HOURS searching for the bus stop whence we would return to Stansted. BRAIN... EXERCISE! Not that we were going home, we just wanted to... rehearse... for I had grand plans, which involved cutting it fine the next evening, bus-wise. Anyway. The tube is a bit disorienting... :S Eventually, we ran into the stops. There were two, 500 light years apart. A nice bus bloke showed us the fine print on the time table, so now we even knew at what times the differrent stops would be useful. :p Fecking adventurous.

In celebration, I had chips [CHEPPSSS!!!] in a cool pub.

MARCH 26. The breakfast bread had not reached the hostel.
Mum: "OMGWTF our white flour!"
Yoze: "Yo, it's not their fault if the bread truck fell over or whatever."
Trudge trudge.
Roomie: "Hey."
Mum: "Did ya know, roomie, they've got no breakfast today!"
Roomie: "Rilly!"
Mum: "Yeah, the truck had fallen over or something."
Roomie: "Oh dear! [How can we send £6000 to the truck driver's 18 orphaned young children? SNIFFLE!]"
Yoze: "Er, I didn't say it had..."
Mum: "Oh aye? I thought I heard someone say it. :/"

We got some food from a neighbouring place, checked out, raided Fresh & Wild and zoomed off to the PARKS, where we just sat. :9 First, Hyde Park. Sweet, a robin posed for me. Then St James Park. Sweet, we could see the water. When certain people got impatient we migrated slowly to Trafalgar Square and checked out the National Gallery. *shrug* Da Vinci stuff, though! And I found me some postcards.

Once again, I was really only waiting for a play to end. Grasping my this month's last chance for a Dan siggy, and in doing so risking everything missing the bus and thus the morning plane home. :) If Dan came out to sign at the normal time (probable), we should make it to the second last bus... Now that I was risking so much for my Dan siggy, I was not about to fuck things up. I stood for 3 h on the street around the stage door. EXERCISE! Think at least 3 people wondered if I was a hooker. Welllllllll... So, anyway, after a couple of hours I was joined by an extremely ambitious Danish siggy hunter. I think the first row patches were all taken about 30 min before the end of Equus. :) The last one was claimed by... my mum, who had nuthin better to do. And our suitcase. The Dane wanted an extra siggy for his friend, so we agreed my mum would try to get one. She was given a playbill.
The skinny little barricades came up, and then came Dan! He started signing opposite our spot.
Mum: "Ohhhhh, there he is..."
My programme had never been so ready. :) DAN SIGNED IT! I didn't get to look into his eyes and he probably did not hear my thanks, if they were successfully uttered. :p My mum was next in line, but he missed her for some reason. Mayhap playbill-slingers are taken for siggy hunters?Second last bus.

27 MARCH. Camp Stansted.

~*~

Some good shit I ate in the strange exotic land:
+Portobello Road market's onion and olive pizza slice, packed in a brown bag which some hours later looked like transparent plastic :)
+Vegan Calzone from Fresh & Wild, flabbergasting eco-food shop on our very block (COUGH 69-75 Brewer Street COUGH)
[/pizza collection]
+Apple & cinnamon cross buns
+Cherry & coconut flapjack
+Subway sub Veggie Delite *avalanche*
+Falafel
+Chips in Cosy Brown British Pub
+White flour with saccharose Hostel breakfasts of toast, jam and juice
+Chips from Large Fast Food Chain... for breakfast, when the hostel breakfast had not been delivered
+Fresh & Wild's fruit salad + soy yoghurt + müsli
+Canned pasta hoops
+Smoothies
+Juicez

Items shopped:
+Madagascar soundtrack
+King Arthur soundtrack
+Once upon a time by Simple Minds
+Persuasion by Jane Austen (used)
+Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (used *sniffs books*)
+6 cards from the National Gallery
+Equus programme

I had a deep semi-conversation with Ewan McGregor!

*is forcefully dragged off london-gothenburg plane, though panting happily*

June 27 - July 1 (CANADA DAY, WOOHOO) 2005: My 4th visit - but my first proper touristy London holiday since 1999... Beware of The da Vinci code spoilers!

Activities, buys and sights:

• Alan-stalking: I didn't care to conduct any hard-arse research just before I went, so I trusted some dim memories of location names I had picked up online, way back. (Worry not, Alan, I never broke into anything. Just strolled through potentially holy 'hoods. :x ) And besides, I hear he was in the US on June 27, at least...! :p
• Buckingham Palace: I walked past it. No, just joking. I stopped and created an enormous sand painting saying "ASK TEH RICKMAN IF HE WOULD LIKE TO BE KNIGHTED, FOR BOB'S SAKE!!!" (in the typeface Jokerman) on the ground of the court yard. No, I didn't. Really. REALLY!!! But I was consuming a Calippo Orange at the time. Huh, huh, huh.
• Camden Market: My mum seemed most excited about visiting markets. I bought heaps of sh*t. Namely, a bag of tea called Notting Hill :D which smells yummy, like a popsicle. (Gasp, I appear unable to drop the subject of popsicles.)
• General celeb-stalking: We took a walk from the Notting Hill Gate tube station. :B Aight. Years ago, I read that Gillian Anderson had settled on Xxxxxxxxxx Road, so I stumbled onto it. Yay.
• Westminster Abbey: Nick Lea is from New Westminster, so maybe he visited the ole church for fun! And it's packed with dead celebs! And The da Vinci code goes there! I was most thrilled to see the Chapter House (with which The da Vinci code people wouldn't have had to bother if they'd let me work out that PIECA CAKEY password) and a coronation chair made in 1301 :O , along with the graves of Edward I (Braveheart baddie, hehe, who had the coronation chair made), Elizabeth I (usually, what LITTLE history I know, I learn from films... :p Er, whatever works... No, seems they're rarely accurate... And Elizabeth bored me although Cate kix arse :/ ), Newton (whose grave was in The da Vinci code! Oh, and he also helped to make the world see reason and believe in science and all that, splendid), Churchill (if he was really there, I'm not sure) and Darwin, whose grave I just had to touch! With both of my palms! Lucky it wasn't behind a fence. Then I hammered 8 chips out of it to sell on E-bay, licked the entire stone slab twice so it would be very nice and clean, and emptied a whole barrel of flower petals of every species and colour onto it! No. You know I don't go for bearded dudes!
• British Museum: In 1999, I visited because I knew Nick had been there. :B Done. Now I also wanted to see the Rosetta stone, and buy a replica of one of them wee figurines which look like Wizard Chess men, and... and... and... hmm, they've got 699 998 other objects... ah well, no entrance fee. We donated some heavy small change we wanted to get rid of. 10 p.
• Temple Church: The da Vinci code goes there! (I'm suddenly happy I saw the Mona Lisa before a certain rumoured 6-week queue developed! Bloody fanatics! ;) The church was less crowded.) A sign said "We charge nothing for the pictures you take, so kindly donate ££ OR ELSE!!!" I felt rather bad about taking millions of shots and wearing out their floor, so I donated some more heavy pocket change. Must re-take Inferno Test.
• Kensington Gardens: I had no time for Hyde Park, but I've been there... and it was probably closed due to Live8. Btw. I obviously didn't know about Live8 when I decided to - leave - London - on - July - 1! STUPID BAHSTAH'D ME!!! What evil force keeps me out of U2:s way? I even missed their TV appearance, not to mention their upcoming concert in my town! Ahem... Anyway... Kensington Gardens, nice place.
• Forbidden Planet: Rich sci-fi shop (on 79 Shaftesbury Avenue, near Neal Street). But I found no Snape or Gríma action figures. I shall go and have a long good cry now. :( Maybe I was just in too much of a hurry, though.
• Alan in the Make Poverty History campaign: I knew there would be lovely Alany ads on the tube station walls. There were. Ahhh. Teh Wrist will possibly save the Earth!
• The da Vinci code parodies: I knew of two, and found them! The asti spumante code by Toby Clements, and The va Dinci cod by A.R.R.R. Roberts. Should be wonderful. >:B Flipping through The va Dinci cod in the shop, I discovered two signatures written in black ink... They looked authentic... I asked, and they were. The authors of the parody and the original (Dan Brown) had signed the book! I checked another one in the pile. Unsigned! :O HA!!! If I ever find myself in great need of cold hard cash, I shall E-bay the siggies to fanatics. But that wouldn't be fun.
• The Royal Court Theatre bar: Again! Twice. Staring at those stairs is so soothing. :) So is fantasising about all the chairs being taken, except... the one next to me... and Alan walks up and asks if I mind... (:B *SNAP* Cooooooosy. I'm only waiting for smoking to become illegal in British bars. *blows tar-filled nose generously on the great collective shirt of all arrogant anti-non-smoker smokers*
• Much pain & suffering: The days were too long for my feet and mum's back. Luckily, a bit of afternoon rest did the trick. Must... live, breathe... and... eat... London... to... the fullest...
• King's Cross Station: I had no business there, except to look for Platform 9.75! Unsuccessfully! I don't even think there were 9 platforms! :O *calls for lengthy therapy*
• ... and theatre...

We stayed at Piccadilly Backpackers Hotel (cough, cough, show me the ad money), and shared a dorm with a maximum of 6 other people.

INCLUDING GUYS!!! :O

Hey, I didn't know they had mixed dorms. a) Mum pretended to be a little upset about it. b) Aussies travel a lot, eh?

Anyway, the hostel is a wall-to-wall neighbour of Piccadilly Theatre. :D As y'all clearly remember from an earlier blog, during my last visit, the hostel staff attempted to cure my pervy Rickmania by informing me that young Master Ewan McGregor was doing a play at this very theatre. (Where Alan also did Tango at the end of winter in 1991, oh GOD, why do I have to be so slow to discover fave actors?! Hem hem.) I flew home and happened to force a Ewan fan to read the blog. I like Ewan, but this more major fan went bananas and wanted to find out more about the play. I thought I'd look around too, knowing I'd be back in London in the summer. (The Ewan fan is going this autumn. :B )

So, thanxx, hostel staff and C. :D The play was called Guys and dolls and would run well beyond the summer. Considering the considerable number of Ewan fans on Earth, I considered it best to order myself a ticket as soon as my London summer trip had been booked.

I also decided to look for the stage door. I KNEW that if it was at all findable, a crowd of young lasses covered in Ewan tattoos would make it easy to locate. I was correct... WOW...

*COUGH*Denman Street*COUGH*

The night before I saw the play, I went stage door-hunting. Rather early on, mum and I passed an alley crossing an alley crossing an alley (OK, street) crossing Piccadilly Circus. A few people stood looking out of the first alley. I don't ruddy look at people. Must maintain my asocial image.
Mum: "Well, there it was! Those were actors standing in the alley."
Yoze: "WhoTF do you think you are, Einstein?"
Mum: "But they were wearing 30's outfits, dear."
Yoze: *gag*

We dined at a nearby (everything was nearby) Thai restaurant where a mad electrician received a jolt from the AC (but survived) while a powerful, cosy thundercloud and rainshower arrived outside. I did not let that stop us from going back to the potential stage door - tonight's play had now ended. And there was the pack of females! In the rain! :D

A bunch of bodyguards, who were firm but gentle (huh, huh, huh), herded them. Autograph hunters on the theatre side of the street, photographers on the other. We placed ourselves there, I hadn't whipped up the courage to... hmmm... MEET EWAN!!! :O I had two more nights to get a siggy. Bah. Our sidewalk were told: "When Ewan McGregor comes out, do not cross the street!" Or we'd block it. A while passed. The rain breathed down the backs of our necks.

Photo-side girls: "Haha, we are so sad!"

I crouched under a Snapey black umbrella dangerously near splashing cars, so that I would be as close as possible to Ewan, hehe. After that While, the crowd stirred and I brought out the camera. Batteries died on me. I changed them. My camera batteries are very thrilling.

Guard: "OK, you can go home! Ewan McGregor isn't coming out here tonight! No autographs! No pictures!"
Stalkers: "Ha, ha... ha."
Guard: *moves past the point where one reveals a joke* "If you want autographs, come back tomorrow night around 10.20! 10.20! But he will not come out after the matinée!"
Yoze: "10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20 10.20..."
Stalkers: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

Although I naturally understand that one doesn't want to be stalked 24-7, I still would have wept and howled if I'd, like, used my life savings to travel from Australia to London for just one night (MOULIN ROUGE LINE!!!) to see the only person I ever loved. *cries for anyone to whom this applies*

*dabs eyes* Next day. June 29, 2005. British Museum. Forbidden Planet. Ill tube. THEATRE TICKET!!! Sweat. Soap. Gobble down baguette.

The charming well-acted true cute funny old musical caught sceptical me off my guard (huh, huh). It was totally OK. I only regret that I didn't bring binoculars... WTF was I thinking? Getting used to tiny theatres like the one in which Alan's play ran, am I? ;B There were rental binoculars for £1.50. Everyone asked everyone for change. Nuthin. Sniff. But no matter. There was only air between Ewan and me. I was in the same room as Ewan. I was inhaling wonderful amounts of water vapour recently exhaled by Ewan. :D Didn't my mama tell me not to exchange blood with strangers? Er... noooooshedidnt...

Too far away to recognise Ewan's face, I was still able to ID him by his lovely voice. :B (Well, eventually I noticed there was only one other main actor and that guy was balding.) Hey Yoze, finding out the names of people's characters in advance can be a good idea... :p

I had seen the matinée so I took care of a few other unimportant things, like... whatsitcalled, DINNER, while waiting for the magical 10.20. :S And I got extra batteries. Good for my heart. When I returned from Uncle Dave's Battery Shop (...) there were women standing around the stage door.

GASP! WOMEN?! REALLY?!

3 of them. They chatted with the guard about the horrible London traffic, and I rambled instructions to my mum the photographer, until it was time for those women to... step deep inside the alley and disappear. Maybe they were press. Or idol-date winners. I think I want to be too. The guard asked me if I was with them. Hehe, what if I'd said yes. :B

Now I found myself AT THE FRONT of a 10-minute queue of stalkers. I must have looked like the greatest Ewan appreciater ever. I didn't want the better fans behind me to believe this... However, I did want to watch a few others go for it, so I could try to avoid making some common mistake they might make. >:D

Yoze: *turns to pair of girls behind her* "Er... Would you like to step in front of me in the queue?"
Girls: "Um..." *frown & are certain beyond all doubt that yoze is mental & dangerous* "Whyyyy...?"
Yoze: "Cuz I'm... nervous... ehehe..." *shrinks*

Ha, let's just say there were probably some in the queue who were more nervous. But mine was a long story to tell strangers.

Girls: "You don't wanna be the first? OOOOOOK..." *step in front*
Mum: *leaps across street* "What are you DOING, Yoze?! You letting those two little brats STEP ON YOU? You need to stop being such a VICTIM!"
Yoze: *rolls eyes & sings robbie williams's misunderstood, solo... not*

The clouds thickened and rain started, and intensified. I borrowed mum's Snapey umbrella again and tried to fit the two front girls under it as well so they'd think I was less dangerous. Possibly got the opposite effect. I hope the dripping from its edge didn't ruin anything for them. <:B Gulp.

Guard: "Sigh, it's 50/50 now... He doesn't like rain."
Yoze: "I HATE LONDON!"

... I didn't say.

The crowd began to stir once more. Other theatre employees exited the alley and trotted off, but suddenly the stalkers emitted an unmistakable sort of: "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEAL!!!" I was 0.7 m from the corner, from behind which Ewan suddenly had appeared. :O His sleek hair shone in the night and I think he was smiling. (How should I remember?) According to my camera, this happened at 10.39pm. :) One or both of the girls in front of me got his siggy. No time for me to watch for mistakes. But at least I had made a mental note not to poke any of his pretty, radiant eyes out with my umbrella. :B

It now seemed I was the one closest to him. I hesitated for 8 ns while Ewan looked around for the next fangirl, or something. Then I gave him the CD leaflet from my Moulin Rouge soundtrack, along with my diary as a writing plate.

The following Deep Semi-Conversation is not necessarily complete or accurate. :p

Yoze: "HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" :D

After an embarrassing tongue-tiedness which struck me in front of another celeb, I decided to clear my sorry throat during all subsequent celeb meetings by at least yelling this simple and disarming word, accompanied by a :D . At least I hope I was smiling. They say I don't smile enough, even when I believe I'm smiling. :p

Ewan: "Just move that a bit... Your umbrella..."

After the meeting with Ewan, Yoze decided to ensure that any umbrella in her hand during all subsequent celeb meetings was actually NOT obscuring anybody's view of items to be autographed.

Anyway, my mum says he touched the umbrella at this point! Awww, he didn't want me to do all the shifting and lifting alone! :x I don't feel up to E-baying that umbrella either.

I waved a silver pen I had bought earlier in the day, before I discovered he was using his own black pen. Smart man, he is. :9 And Ewan kindly wrote his name on the leaflet! :D I don't think our fingers touched or that our eyes met. And as always, I forgot to go for a handshake. :p You live, and learn not. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.

The Eternal Tongue-Tie: *lurks*
Guard: *does not fly to hawaii to give ewan & stalker private moment*
Ewan: *finishes up siggy*
Yoze: *makes up mind & inhales* "I enjoyed the show very much!"
Ewan: *hands back siggy and diary*
Yoze: "Thank you..." *takes a single... few... leaps across street & tries not to let umbrella ruin anybody's breathtaking view* "MUM! CAM! CAM! Watch the rain! Take this siggy... Don't smear it, now. SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!"

I parked myself on the photographers' sidewalk and took as many pictures as I could, while observing that Ewan lets fans hug him. :9 Hhhhhhhhh... Hhhhhh... "Eeeheehee... Damn!" But I probably wouldn't have had the guts anyway! :O Would feel like I was harassing him! Feeling guilty about something already, am I? :p

Posing for pictures was not allowed, as it would have taken all night. Mmmmmm... Oh. Right. Rhyme. My last photo was snapped at 10.49pm, when Ewan had taken care of everyone in the queue, as I recall! :) Then he left us. Good-bye and good-nite and thank you, my pie. :D

Mum: "Hey, he was handsome! Looked like Bryan Adams! (:9 How old is he?"
Yoze: "30-summat... But save your bodily fluids, I think he's married."
Mum: *weep* *wail* *howl* *cry* *sniff*

This woman hated the 15 minutes of Moulin Rouge that she bothered to watch... Wonder if Trainspotting would be her cuppa tea? >:B

We waited the next evening too... Just another glimpse wouldn't have been too painful, eh? No rain, but no Ewan either. At least Jane Krakowski stopped by to sign a whole bunch of things. I wasn't quick enough to ask for a siggy myself, but took some pics of her posing with fans. :)

-------------------------------------------------

Umm, I believe it is time to cast off my resistance to true Ewan fandom (ie his place on my... highly respectable Fave Actors List) and let the fuzzy infatuation drug flow, the best it can. Sick of resisting just because... uh... he's young, pwetty, well-known and endowed with a huge army of Squealing Fangirls, unlike some people. :B Hmpf!

SNOBBY BAHSTAH'D ME!!! :p

But I've been appreciating his acting for years... (HELLOOOOOOO?! TEH VERSATILITY! ME LOVES!) And... hehe... his beauty for... months... since I finally saw Moulin Rouge. ;) *pinches cheeks* The first time I got a good look at him went like this in my diary:

"November 24, 1998, Tuesday
... Then ER was... good as hell. First time I saw Ewan McGregor, he was cool ..."

I think he made me bawl, and I even sorta remember one of his lines. "You didn't want that man to die either!" Right? :D I've had other good times in the tele-company of Ewan:

"September 3, 1999, Friday
... Then Trainspotting aired. Cool! We taped it ..."

Drugs are baaaaad, mmm'kay?

"November 4, 2002, Monday
... Then I felt like watching Trainspotting and did so ... I ate ice-cream with chocolate sauce while watching the diarrhea scene ..."

That's strange. I remember it being chocolate pudding. With whipped cream. Blargh, those were my more sinful days. Anyway. Memory is a fascinating thing. *mumble*

"January 15, 2005, Saturday
... Then I taped Moulin Rouge ... Btw the film was kinda funny (similar to Shakespeare in love...), and the 30 billion Ewan fans are not wrong ..."

"January 18, 2005, Tuesday
... Well, now I watched Moulin Rouge again ... maybe I'll buy it ... [Hey, you try watching it with the songs subtitled. :p ] Ewan, too, is of course more than OK."

Can't say that sitting through one entire Star wars in 1999 was such a good time, but I remember another Ewan line. "Yes master." Go me.

Yes! I can feel the fuzz, master! Think I'll start following his career now - perhaps even watch a Star wars or two, before I go toes-up! :O (But let's not rush things. :p ) No, I haven't seen a lot of his work. <:B Bully me not, master.

I was just sitting in the Royal Court Theatre bar one evening...

... sipping some strong shit, I mean orange juice, when Alan Rickman did NOT walk in, since he was and is reportedly in Canada. :9 If I hadn't been so worried about school I could have visited the theatre about 23 days earlier, in which case my report might have looked something like this. (My friend's friend was apparently there, and I read that report the day before my journey. :) )

But anyway, I went to London on April 30 to see My name is Rachel Corrie, since it was DIRECTED BY ALAN!!! :D

Before I visited London in 1999, everyone asked in jolly voices: "Oh! London! That's nice! First visit? Are you going to see any plays or musicals then? :D" I was an immensely cool 15-year-old... "Why the feck would I want to do that?"

I had never before seen a play on my own time - only on kindergarten/school time. I don't even remember what any of those were about. There are two fragments - something huge and pizza-like in Alice in Wonderland (1992) and a guy reportedly dying of a heart attack in a small fishing boat in some random Swedish play (2000)... Well, wasn't that INTERESTING!!! :D

The entire 24 hour trip in 2005 kicked arse, because *SPOILER* I got to see Alan's play, *END OF SPOILER* but also because I had never travelled completely alone outside of ole Sweden before. (Thank you Rickmaniacs for taking care of lil me last year. :D ) I only got a headache (due to dehydration/skipped caffeine dose), lost twice or thrice (though never far and only through faults of my own... Hey, a map wouldn't have been THAT heavy... But if I were a mugger, I'd zoom in on confused map people), possibly harrassed (it's a good thing I still have trouble with certain Cute Bri'ish Accents) and not mugged, raped or mutilated at all!

The fabness started when I popped into my hostel to check in. A guy behind the counter, he reminded me of Colin from Love actually btw, started the following cool conversation:
Colinguy: "Where are you from, sweetie?"
Yoze: "Me?! Sweden."
Colin: "Sverige?"
Yoze: "Eh?"
Colin: "Sverige?"
Yoze: "Oh... yup."
Colin: "What brings you here?"
Yoze: "I'm - SQUEE - gonna - SQUEE - see - SQUEE - a - SQUEE - play!"
Colin: "What play?"
Yoze: "My name is Rachel Corrie." (This was repeated in vain a few times.)
Colin: "Uhhh... *looks at coworker who shrugs* Never heard of it... Why did you come all the way from Sweden to see it?"
Yoze, seer of trendily unknown tiny artsy political plays: "One of my favourite actors is directing it, so..."
Colin: "Who is that, then?"
Yoze: "Alan Rickman! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" (Repeated ad nauseum (sp).)
Colin & Coworker: "WHO?!"
Yoze: *cannot believe londonpeople don't know about Him* "Seen Die Hard? Harry Potter? Ehehe?!"
Colin & Coworker: "Umm..." *shake heads* *mumble*
Coworker: "You know, Ewan McGregor works next door..."
Cool Yoze: "Oh, cool."

After throwing some crisp sheets onto my Ikea-ish bed and washing my sweaty red face and Rickmania-stinkin armpits I set off to battle the HUGE, HOT, PULSATING... city. (Yes, London was hot. Or maybe it was just me, thinking about the evening and mutilation.)

To avoid annoying Fate I went straight to the theatre and collected... my preciousss ticket! Then I looked around for the stage door. Just as the report had said, one was able to watch the entrance, bar door and stage door (which was in a dead-end-looking alley) from one street corner. Good to know in the future perhaps, hehe. But since I was 99% certain of Alan's distant whereabouts, I spent only 80% of the day watching the stage door alley. There was a great stone platform next to the theatre doorstep. Sunny side. Humongous Heathrow planes passing overhead. 700-page... geology... book... and... Slytherin... green... marker... pen... But the corner of my eye watched people passing into and out of the alley (er, bar door...).

With luck, I figured I might recognize the shape and colours and... *gasp*... smooth moves of an incredibly energetic man who would, I hoped, happily fly Canada-UK-Canada over one weekend to bless the final show of his play. I guess not. I guessed right. BOOHOO!!!

So, people, this long boring report is not going to lead up to any heavenly glimpse of Alan, if that's why you're still reading. :B *points and laughs evilly*

There didn't seem to be any fun shops in the area, so when I had lost enough Sprite and fangirly hope I found my way into the theatre's cool but cosy dungeon bar and tried to dream up which one of their white wines Alan had on April 7. :) Sadly I hate wine, so I asked for the orange juice mentioned in line #1 and sat and stared at the stairs, wrapping my head around the events from which I was separated by only... 23 days... and whatever distance Earth had travelled through space since then and whatnot, but I touched a lot of banisters that day.

I can't find the damn page in my old Bio-Potions book where it said (importantly...) how many protein molecules there are in a thumbprint, but it's dream-worthy number for a wee Rickmaniac risking infections from dirty old banisters.

And then I ascended the stairs described in the premiere report... The play was of course wonderfully directed! :D Though I tried to concentrate on the directing, I enjoyed the play itself more than I thought I would, since I also enjoy total political ignorance. And I suffer cruelly from lack of artistic insight on directing, hehe.

Anyway, Corrie was a great writer, and *cough* someone else *cough* is a great editor! (Hmm... I lack insight on editing too... Ah, what the hell! The result was cool.) Well acted, and funny where funniness was not, like, inappropriate. The room itself was quite tiny... (My god, if it had been Alan doing a monologue 4 m away for 1.5 hours... I wouldn't have noticed any mutilation. And I would have fought my fear of looking into people's eyes. :D ) The crowd was attentive, laughed easily and occasionally someone threw in "Oh!?" Awww...

According to the premiere report, no one coughed or moved during the first show. Hmm. I bet no one would have coughed here either if the guy next to me hadn't had a genuine cold. Weee. When the play ended, there was a long little silence studded with sobs. (Not from me... DAMN MY INSENSITIVITY!!! Hey Alan, I think you need to direct Black Beauty or something...) Then the crowd clapped their hands off (oops... mutilation theme resurfacing) for eons and Megan Dodds had to run back in twice.

The show must have been sold out too, because earlier I had overheard numerous desperate people asking to get in the line for unlikely return tix. In the theatre, it took a while before they managed to find seats (which were unnumbered) for everyone there. GO ALAN!!! :D

I wonder why exactly the gang of about three teenagers, one of them wearing a green dress, green socks and loads of black eye shadow, had come. (:B

I alley-lurked for a little while afterwards so that no new smart thought would hit me after I'd gone to bed, basically meaning "Of course Alan must have been there, because..." This never happened. Phew...

A while after I had gone to bed, unmutilated and fuzzy, some of my anonymous hostel roomies stormed in, hit the lights and rumbled about. I lay awake and thought "Ooooohhh yes... Please keep rumbling about so I can stay awake and thus think some more of how I'VE SEEN ALAN'S PLAY TONIGHT!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIH!!! FUZZZZZZZZZ!!!"

When my folks picked my up at the airport back home, Dad went "I read up on this Rachel Corrie, she was a lot like you I think!"
Yoze: "Ohhh! You think? *does not think often*"
Dad: "YES!!! She too wrote a lot of diaries and made lists of everything! Cool huh?"
Yoze: "..."
And I wear hoodies. And there's a baaaaad girl living in my room.

I also know frustration *rip tug arrrgh*, just like Corrie, and once in a while I get my arse off the wagon and become a "doer" in some way, but BLOODY 'ELL - she was a true doer, and in any case I don't do heroic things like bulldozer-wrestling, nor have I made burning speeches on poverty... especially not at age 10. Sniff.

So what have I done?
Written diaries. Worn hoodies.
1993: Read book about 50 things kiddies can do to save Earth and took it to my heart. The book will possibly save Earth.
2000: Read article on the consequences of education on overpopulation, etc. Education will possibly save Earth.
2003: Went closet vegan (as am paranoid I'm a lousy scary representative most days). Veganism will possibly save Earth.
2004: Heard Alan do a radio ad about Link Community Development and I thought it sounded like a good education-related organisation. Now I support them. Education will... hmm, you already know. Go Alan!
2004: Entered the Ranger Program at uni. Rangers (not always the Aragorn kind, exactly) will possibly save Earth.

However, I'm still horrible and none of the above required any guts. (THERE GO YOUR EXCUSES, PEOPLE.) Even if they will possibly save a piece of Earth, which is always nice.

Rickmania: Thinking about what you would have to do before Alan directs a play about your cool cool life. :9