I survived Xmas...

...with MY (extended) family. :p I had been dreading it. But keeping away for most of the time worked now, at least.

For the record, this was my first Xmas as an official heathen! :B Since November 23 I belong to no religion! :D I think... For this I get a piece of paper, almost no church tax, and 1 ticket to hell. :q

Here was me original wish list:
-TNC:s Rainforest Fund thingies
-Terrapasses
-...and a few CD:s...

Here is how it actually turned out *MATERIALISTIC XMAS PRESSIE REPORT* :
-Black eco-cotton top (so soft and thick...)
-Booze chocolate (good if one bites a hole in em and pours out the booze)
-Electric toothbrush (I hope my toothpaste isn't too abrasive)
-A friggin huge steel lantern (which I ain't keeping)
-Cash!
-2 decorative birds + 2 decorative trolls (used)
-Some Aloe gel (which I never knew I needed and which contained mysterious ingredients so I passed it on...)
-Soap from Lush
-Shampoo thing from Lush
-A Robbie biography (written by some Swedish tabloid journalist but reasonably respectful *sucks juice*)
-A backpack (my 4-year-old one was perfect, but it has got a hole in the bottom. Hmm. Huh huh huh huh.)
-A wall calendar (featuring JOAQUIN!)
-The da Vinci code soundtrack by Hans Zimmer
-Sparkle in the rain by Simple Minds
-Boy by U2
-A red mini-lantern...
-Some candle (I'm off candles... I hear they contain palm oil... That's just not cosy)
-Knickers made of poisonous cotton (which I'm not keeping either)

**********************************

This law course is death.

Last month's anti-fur protest downtown...

...stereotype mode:

I showed up at the meeting place and everyone glared at me for having dyed my hair neither purple nor green. But they obviously wanted to save their cobblestones, and things would get better - after a little while, we were enthusiastically fighting the massive police force that had gathered to try and guard us. They had even brought their horses, thinking those would be safe in the midst of an animal rights protest. Haha. We stoned the poor beasts until they dropped dead. It was truly worth the sacrifice!

We had all been instructed to dress in white, and were soon dancing down the city's tightest alley in celebration of our beautiful and sappy belief that the new government will come to their supreme human senses and not cuddle the mink farmers any more.

Before the protest, enormous crosses had been handed out to the participants. To these we nailed as many mink farmers' young babies as we had been able to kidnap, and carried the crosses by our bare teeth. This left our hands free to hurl Molotov cocktails, filled with baby harp seal oil (for plant-based fats are so difficult to find), through the windows of Kindergartens and such. These were as full as barrels, as we had chosen a time of bright daylight and rush hour traffic, so that everyone might know our message. And so we could block the alley.

After a long barefoot walk we reached the other end of the alley - where a burning speech was held from atop a rusty dustbin. Said speech was burning because it consisted completely of smoke signals from a Molotov cocktail. Members of the vulgar crowd passed by - most were scared off, as we had intended. However a few were curious and eagerly joined our ranks. To encourage them further, we force-fed them mink feed, Molotov cocktails and even shredded carrots.

Pause.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

My bro's violent "tendencies"

He got home before I did today and when that happens he always plays his shite music at 5000 dB while he cooks and eats. I never take it, and he usually takes it when I turn the shit off so that I can, GASP, eat something for 10 fucking minutes before I retire to my dungeon. He is unable to grasp that someone else may also be hungry OR not in love with his music. Once he actually said "But you can eat later."

8O

OH MY GOD.

Today he said it was his RIGHT to listen to the shit because he a) got home first :O and b) has tinnitus.
i) I wonder whose fault that could be
ii) YAY, I WANT SOME TINNITUS TOO!

Then he says "But you and mum listen to music in the living room" and I go "Well if that disturbs you, I've told you you may TURN IT THE FUCK OFF, but you never do" and he says "No, I let YOU listen" just to keep his right to TORTURE me. Yeah, perhaps it's also cool if someone begs you to kinky-whip them and then whips the non-kinky you?

So I turned the shit off, he turned it back on, and when I tried to get to the stereo again he blocked my way and pushed me so I sort of bounced backwards (but not like in 2004 when he lost control over a fight with SOMEONE ELSE and threw ME across the room (wow, my shoulders just happened to be in the way of his hands) and I had to seek medical advice). He even kept his hands raised. I asked if he was going to beat me up again and darted past him to the stereo, where he grabbed me from behind. For 34953 years. I screamed in terror but refrained from pinching his arm upon remembering the juiciest bits of school's anti-violence docus ("X lost 16 teeth, and to this day he has no feeling in his right body half. The criminals then proceeded to crush his kidneys and rip his aorta and hey, if he had been a girl there is no reason to think they would not have -"). He might have MURDERED me if I had done anything. Only 6x bigger than I am. I didn't call the cops (next fucking time though... Hope that degree of threat is a crime), just one of the rulers of the house. But I'm SO gonna warn all the girls he drags home from now on. Ya know what they say, it never stops after the first beating, eh. The E-dawg is jumpy around him, too. And he's training to become a NURSE! If there is ever a wave of mysterious pillow-chokings in hospitals, I can toss them a clue. Around civilised people he's Mr Clean & PC who whistles over-sanely and merrily in the shower or while he cooks, can say that I have to become social but not why, chirps "How spiffing to SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you, grandmothaaaaaaahhh! XD" and sighs happily that he Would Love To Work With People.

I've hated this proud abuser of physical power for almost 3 years and I hope he dies in a slow, painful accident shortly. *daydreamz*

~*~

On the subject of big boys with 12-year-old brains, somebody DID decide to feed off the Borat hype, by airing the Ali G SHOW here... Monday to Thursday this week, at least... *devour* No further comments, as I must now do my environmental law homework. Also going on an expedition to the kitchen, for some tea, just to show off. If I'm not back in 10... go on without me. *grabs fancy dagger*