Last month's anti-fur protest downtown...
...stereotype mode:
I showed up at the meeting place and everyone glared at me for having dyed my hair neither purple nor green. But they obviously wanted to save their cobblestones, and things would get better - after a little while, we were enthusiastically fighting the massive police force that had gathered to try and guard us. They had even brought their horses, thinking those would be safe in the midst of an animal rights protest. Haha. We stoned the poor beasts until they dropped dead. It was truly worth the sacrifice!
We had all been instructed to dress in white, and were soon dancing down the city's tightest alley in celebration of our beautiful and sappy belief that the new government will come to their supreme human senses and not cuddle the mink farmers any more.
Before the protest, enormous crosses had been handed out to the participants. To these we nailed as many mink farmers' young babies as we had been able to kidnap, and carried the crosses by our bare teeth. This left our hands free to hurl Molotov cocktails, filled with baby harp seal oil (for plant-based fats are so difficult to find), through the windows of Kindergartens and such. These were as full as barrels, as we had chosen a time of bright daylight and rush hour traffic, so that everyone might know our message. And so we could block the alley.
After a long barefoot walk we reached the other end of the alley - where a burning speech was held from atop a rusty dustbin. Said speech was burning because it consisted completely of smoke signals from a Molotov cocktail. Members of the vulgar crowd passed by - most were scared off, as we had intended. However a few were curious and eagerly joined our ranks. To encourage them further, we force-fed them mink feed, Molotov cocktails and even shredded carrots.
Pause.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
I showed up at the meeting place and everyone glared at me for having dyed my hair neither purple nor green. But they obviously wanted to save their cobblestones, and things would get better - after a little while, we were enthusiastically fighting the massive police force that had gathered to try and guard us. They had even brought their horses, thinking those would be safe in the midst of an animal rights protest. Haha. We stoned the poor beasts until they dropped dead. It was truly worth the sacrifice!
We had all been instructed to dress in white, and were soon dancing down the city's tightest alley in celebration of our beautiful and sappy belief that the new government will come to their supreme human senses and not cuddle the mink farmers any more.
Before the protest, enormous crosses had been handed out to the participants. To these we nailed as many mink farmers' young babies as we had been able to kidnap, and carried the crosses by our bare teeth. This left our hands free to hurl Molotov cocktails, filled with baby harp seal oil (for plant-based fats are so difficult to find), through the windows of Kindergartens and such. These were as full as barrels, as we had chosen a time of bright daylight and rush hour traffic, so that everyone might know our message. And so we could block the alley.
After a long barefoot walk we reached the other end of the alley - where a burning speech was held from atop a rusty dustbin. Said speech was burning because it consisted completely of smoke signals from a Molotov cocktail. Members of the vulgar crowd passed by - most were scared off, as we had intended. However a few were curious and eagerly joined our ranks. To encourage them further, we force-fed them mink feed, Molotov cocktails and even shredded carrots.
Pause.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
posted by Ratexla Kettleburn aka Yoze | 09:02
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