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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Sacha, Micke & the queen

My dad & bro decided to go see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and were so smart as to ask if I wanted to tag along. I can watch almost any shite at the CINEMA :D *cosy... well, maybe not the cinema I usually visit*, but Borat had actually been given 5 stars by the local paper's snob-critic. I've got a general rule which dictates that films given 5 stars by snob-critics suck IMO, but on the other hand, that only applies to serious (often Swedish) dramas and/or films made in 1910. :) No, this was curious, my expectations were high in the sky. (Not a generally good sign, either.)

But, but, but, the movie was ingenious indeed. *bawl* Certain interview victims would be so anxious to find a new planet right now, if only they possessed enough sense to be ashamed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! XD

~*~

Some highlights, of importance or not:

Borat: "WE SUPPORT YOUR WAROFTERROR!"
Crowd: "Oh, what the hell, WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Borat: "MAY BUSH DRINK THE BLOOD OF EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD IN IRAQ AND COVER ALL THE WORLD IN SHADOW!"
Crowd: "Er... WUUUUUUUUU?! :D"

Borat & Azamat: *nakedwrestle*
Borat & Azamat: *intensify nakedwrestle*
Prim physical-contact-and-human-filth-shunner Yoze: "Ahhh... That's... limitless... :B"

Borat: "GO! GO TO YOUR FREEDOM!"
Hen: "SQUEAK!"
Ticket: *burn*
Borat: "BOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!" *heavy 1910 drama*

~*~

I staggered home, insanely jealous yet in great awe of the genius...
Zombie-Yoze: "Raaaaaaaaaa... Mmmmmmmmm, braaaaaaaaaaaain... +P~~~"
...and, within hours, developed a wee bit of a crush on Sacha Baron Cohen. :B

Said crush is 9 days old and has not exploded into red-hot, unbridled passion. Yet. Hehe. So... I think I shall keep him a secret from my folks, for my mum would refuse to watch Borat if she thought I recommended it mainly because of a crush... as, I must admit, is my habit... however, one which she enjoys blowing out of proportion. :B (My only other secret idol would be... Brad D.) Secrets are frustrating, but fun. :D *exhumes ole tape of mtv europe music awards 2000 featuring ali g & combs town for a cd containing partying lemur*

Mmmmm, fuzzy crush drug...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pity I couldn't wait 1 week to see Borat, cus this weekend a new, flashy cinema rode into town! :D Apparently it's been 17 years in the making. I've been waiting for a somewhat shorter time than that. Still too long. It has been christened Bergakungen (The Mountain King) and they invited everyone to check it out on Saturday. But first, they let a bunch of big game handle the opening ceremony outside. (I spent 1 little hour by the barricade.) There was the queen (the first royal family member of my celeb collection, not that I'm a royalist) and the actors Michael Nyqvist (sex symbol for mature Swedes, for he be not the most repulsive creature in the kingdom), Anastasios Soulis (young bloke whose movies I've never seen) and Janne "Loffe" Carlsson (whom I've seen in ~1 movie, but I was an extra in the sequel!). *click click click click*

Afterwards, one was swept into the building, and OMG. The actors were there, to be seen, mingling with the vulgar public fans! I lingered like any insane old stalker, and skipped up to Michael Nyqvist first. The following conversation is not accurate at all:

Yoze: "HI, nice to meet you!"
MN: "Hi."
*OMG handshake*
MN: "Micke."
Yoze: *cogturncreak* "Josefine. May I have a picture?"
MN: "Sure. *poses for wee mortal* Did it stick?"
Yoze: "Oh yes... It was a bit hard to take photos outside... Anyway, my mum really likes you! I dunno, she didn't have the energy to come here, Saturday morning and all... ehehe... But, she says hello."
MN: "Well, say hello to your mum from me then!"
Yoze: *squees away*

45 years later I asked Janne "Loffe" Carlsson for a pic as well, but we didn't shake hands. At least I've... like... WORKED WITH HIM! :) (I highly doubt I will be visible in the movie, blah) He asked how the pic turned out. Then I sneaked up to young master Soulis and shook hands with him and asked for a pic. "OK. Do you want to be in the pic, or...?" "Nah, I'd better just take my own..."

*click*

I was then free to roam the bowels of Bergakungen. Sweeeeeeeeeet. Boweeeeeeeeels. It smelled like a new car, thaz all. *throws in popcorn scent bomb* I think they even included... *GASP*... LEG SPACE!!! +O

There is a modern cinema in town already, but they don't seem to offer any fat discounts, nor all of the films I want to see. Then there is a really fancy old one, with them discounts, but it only shows a couple of films at a time. My Regular Cinema offers discounts, shows most of the interesting movies, AND CAUSES SERIOUS SKELETAL DAMAGE. Since the rows are 0.6 mm apart. It must have been built back when average human height was 110 cm. NOT COSY. I am never going back to it.

Bergakungen will have the movies, the discounts and the leg space. FINALLY A PROPER CINEMA FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Er, and for others, even.

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