YOUR fave part of the documentary Earthlings?

• The grinding of a dog into a garbage truck?
• The ripping out of a cow's trachea and esophagus?
• The chopping of a piglet's tail, ears, teeth and testicles?
• The boiling of lobsters?
• The slitting of a dolphin's throat?
• The slow sawing through a cow's neck?
• The burning of a pig's skin until it cracks and falls off?
• The skinned canine slowly lifting its head and looking around?

Earthlings - PETAtv.com - ISawEarthlings.com - HSUS.org

4000 Swedish pigs castrated without painkillers every day

Reason: Painkillers are too expensive... someone thinks.
Source: Göteborgsposten.
People who masturbate to the thought of fine Swedish animal protection because they think $$ holds no significant power over ethics in lawmaking: Deflowered. Feeling empowered? You are. Chop chop.

Oh, as I was writing the draft for this, Nine Inch Nails' The wretched started playing in me iPod. How extraordinary. We can listen to it in hell.

Last month's anti-fur protest downtown...

...stereotype mode:

I showed up at the meeting place and everyone glared at me for having dyed my hair neither purple nor green. But they obviously wanted to save their cobblestones, and things would get better - after a little while, we were enthusiastically fighting the massive police force that had gathered to try and guard us. They had even brought their horses, thinking those would be safe in the midst of an animal rights protest. Haha. We stoned the poor beasts until they dropped dead. It was truly worth the sacrifice!

We had all been instructed to dress in white, and were soon dancing down the city's tightest alley in celebration of our beautiful and sappy belief that the new government will come to their supreme human senses and not cuddle the mink farmers any more.

Before the protest, enormous crosses had been handed out to the participants. To these we nailed as many mink farmers' young babies as we had been able to kidnap, and carried the crosses by our bare teeth. This left our hands free to hurl Molotov cocktails, filled with baby harp seal oil (for plant-based fats are so difficult to find), through the windows of Kindergartens and such. These were as full as barrels, as we had chosen a time of bright daylight and rush hour traffic, so that everyone might know our message. And so we could block the alley.

After a long barefoot walk we reached the other end of the alley - where a burning speech was held from atop a rusty dustbin. Said speech was burning because it consisted completely of smoke signals from a Molotov cocktail. Members of the vulgar crowd passed by - most were scared off, as we had intended. However a few were curious and eagerly joined our ranks. To encourage them further, we force-fed them mink feed, Molotov cocktails and even shredded carrots.

Pause.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

VG, hypoxia & 1 Deep British Voice

BRAGGING OD: Got our latest exam results the day before yesterday. First off, we were informed that everybody had survived. The teacher did not know whether to blame our brilliance or his kindness. But you know what they say about Swedish education. Or not.

Well, tawp grayde VG was set at 85% (while it is normally 80%, I think it was because they had had to remove one question afterwards or summat...) and I scored 86.84%! YES! SQUEE! Not expected, as this was a rather abstract and talky exam with a lot of "Discuss, dammit, discuss!" in it. :p Think this VG has been my life goal since I made a miserable little G on a similar course in 2005. :) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

It was extraordinarily sweet to receive 3/3 points for my answer to a Q about "pros and cons of political conservation targets, are such targets appropriate and why, and did we propose other or complementary strategies?" And my answer was split into wee bombshell fragments all over the paper, too. Poor teacher. :B Here be my fatarse, 100% answer, outta the book via me brain, uglily (...) translated, de-messed, with teacher's stapled comments and supposedly approving underlinings in Slytherin green:

Good: -Perhaps the politicians are more likely to stick to decisions which they and not a hippy biologist have made.
-The targets may seem high, which makes the world realise the importance of protection, as even the powerful people set such targets --> everybody takes conservation more seriously and try to contribute to it.
-If people realise that the targets are too low this too can encourage widespread and general conservation?
-It is better than nothing. The populations may survive until the surroundings possibly become more eco-friendly, and then some can spread from the protected areas, which hopefully would not have become too depleted.
Bad: -The targets rarely ARE high (enough)! One hears 5% of a forest or 12% globally, but for many species extinction begins at ~30% of original population/habitat size, and cannot be stopped thereafter. I believe somebody suggested that 70% of the Earth be protected, and a study showed that the targets of scientists and experts are often set about 3 times as high as those of politicians. This may be because the political targets are often compromises and are held back by for example short term economic interests, although they might have been higher to begin with.
-The public may believe that the low targets are sufficient, so that conservation outside of protected area ceases.
-They say nothing of what is to be protected. ["could be said"] The politicians might mainly set aside land which is unprofitable to use, but it may have low natural values. A writer of one article pointed out the importance of protecting primarily hotspots (threatened and rare), that is, concentrating the protection to rain forests and the like.

Measures?: -Education ["good"] about ecology, so that also decision makers, voters, etc want high targets.
-The aforementioned concentration on hotspots. (50% of species on 2% of the land surface = rain forests?)
-Somebody said that areas should be protected based on how productive they are!
-General respect for natural values EVERYWHERE.

To propose 95% protection so that decision makers only could push it down to 50% would perhaps be an illegal scientific lie and falsification of results... unless one included the conflicting interests and the compromise into one's calculations?! ["!"]

A "few" Homo sapiens less could reduce the problem fundamentally. (The way there might include education --> liberation (of women), + education about ecology, that is, even in the lower grades --> creates necessary motivation... hopefully. However, I don't have the Nobel Prize for social studies/psychology.) There wouldn't be enough people to make an impact on X% of the Earth. Less bickering and agonising over decisions.

excuse the messiness!

["3 good (despite the messiness :) )"]

Hihi, I got something right. *wallow wallow wallow wallow wallow wallow*

~*~

Location: Comp room, Uni of Gothenburg, The Milky Way
Date: Friday, some damn year A.D.
Time: 4.13 pm
Oxygen level: *mumble*
-----------------------------------
4 merry zombied students huddled round their almost finished project faintly become aware of a tingle that may have been trickling through the room - for the last hour? For the last 10 000 years? No one knows. :O
Classmate at other comp: "HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! XD"
Group member: "L is tired..."
Group member: "What is it, L?"
Classmate at other comp: "It's just a picture... on this comp... HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! XD"
Yozemind: *conjures image of hardcore porn out of comp room experience*
Classmate at other comp: "It's a heron... HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI... XD"
Yozemind: *evaluating porn potential of herons*
------------------------------------
Group member (reading from project report): "'...and we also paid a visit to a hunting museum where one can view animals (stuffed) in their natural habitats.' Well, those weren't really their natural habitats though, were they? I remember seeing a wolf in a trap pit, and -"
Group member: "Aight, we'll have to change that sentence." *bangs delete button*
Project report: "...and there is also a hunting museum where one can view animals (stuffed) -"
Group member: "Stuffed where?"
Everybody: "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL! XD"
Everybody: *stare at comp* *sway*
Everybody: "ROTFLMAO! XD"
-------------------------------------
Everybody: *proofreads project report*
Project report: "There are two hunting clubs who take whatever part of the elk quota manages to escape the king."
Group member: "'There are two hunting clubs who manage to escape the king'?!"
Group member: "No, it says -"
Group member: "Oh!"
Everybody: "ROTF! XD"
Group member: "...who manages to escape the king's MURDEROUS SLAUGHTER!"
Yozemind: *wonders what she would choose out of being shot in her lungs, starving to death, being bit to pieces, jumping off the 60 m cliff in the project area, or sweetly drifting to sleep in anoxic comp room*

~*~

Yesterday was historical! I... I finally heard Sacha speak as himself. :D

*deep... british... male... voice... number 234248*

My comp speakers are dead, which hasn't been a huge problem until, oh, I got meself a fave actor/comedian/warrior/man who was SUCH a chameleon that in my 6 years of knowing about his existence I had never heard his real accent/voice, which, however, were bound to be fab, and, against all better judgment, I tempted myself by staring at silent talk show videos! YEAH!

*spank*

Sneaked onto dad's comp last night. It loaded Youtube-Letterman :D so damn quickly that I actually had time to hear Sacha say wannabe gangster before the comp was reclaimed by its rightful owner. :9

Speaking of our wannabe gangster - why TV hasn't shown the Ali G movie lately, to feed off the Borat hype, is beyond me. (Which does not say much.)

Crude whippin/carrotting of our great big arses

There are 1,8 hectares of biologically productive land per person. The average human uses 2,2 hectares. 20% of the people are sitting on 80% of the resources.

Fun eh!

Large eco-feet = wealth = independence = opportunity to TELL ONE'S 0.5 GRAMS OF WHINING DNA TO GO JUMP IN THE LAKE!

Generally... right?

I don't fecking know how to get down to 1,8 hectares, really. But it might work comfily. www.earthday.org/footprint offers some guidance with their quizzz. Here is how I can HOPE I will be able to respond to each question for the better part of my life, + my comments.
-------------------------------------------
How big is the city, town, or place where you live?
-100,001 - 1,000,000
(Above 500 000, I believe.)

What city has the most similar weather to yours?
-Gothenburg
(This does require some heating. But I think I'm on nuke power right now. Thank gawd, that may sustain us until we are down to the recommended 100 million (HAAHAAAAAAA, I originally happened to write "100 000", ehehe, sniffle...) people and can get along on renewable energy. (Maybe we already can, but I hear different things.) I also heard that Homo sapiens is unusally bad at coping with radiation, but that in general, nature looks great around... Tjernobyl. :O Hmm. Mmm. Heh... Hope it's true.)

Food footprint
How often do you eat animal based products? (beef, pork, chicken, fish, eggs, dairy products)
-Never (vegan)
(This is already true! :D And tasty. *feeds you* According to a survey, most Swedes are ready to cut down on the meat for the sake of the environment. Hey, once they break the habit a little bit, and discover a few 1000 adjusted recepies, there's no telling where they'll end up. :D )

How much of the food that you eat is processed, packaged and imported?
-Very little. Most of the food I eat is unprocessed, unpackaged and locally grown.
(I think this means less than 25%. Hardly true at present. NativeEnergy may sustain us until we are down to the... bla bla.)

Goods footprint
Compared to people in your neighborhood, how much waste do you generate?
-Much less
(Er... I'm not so sure about this one either. But I recycle, I don't CONSTANTLY buy new clothes/electronics, and when I move out no maniacs will stop some compost thingy from moving in.)

Shelter footprint
How many people live in your household?
-1 person
(I dunno what's better. But I'm the queen loner, after all. I'll try that if I can afford it.)

What is the size of your home?
-20 square metres or smaller
(This is not the size of our house...! But HELL YEAH, I can do that! When I move I hope there will be such a tiny, cosy, adorable, cheap place available for my great wasteful arse. IT BETTER!!! *moves to shanty town*)

Which housing type best describes your home?
-Green-design residence
(Like an eco-village? I'd LIKE that. :p Never seen one in my life. Did a wee bit of research last week. What if there was one reasonably close to an eco-bean farmer and a city bus line... and with small apartments... Anyway, that along with the other answers apparently would leave me with a footprint of... 1,3 HECTARES!)
-Multi-story apartment building
(This is where I will probably end up, but I might still have a footprint of precisely... THE MAGICAL 1,8 HECTARES!)

Do you have electricity in your home?
-Yes, with energy conservation and efficiency
(Hmm, can solar panels produce electricity or just heat? :B Sniff... I don't have solar panels. Today.)

Mobility footprint
On average, how far do you travel on public transportation each week (bus, train, subway or ferry) ?
-1-25 km
(No idea about this either... But supposing it's not physically impossible to build THAT ECO-VILLAGE close to town... One could take the bike in summer, too... And since I won't FIND any eco-villages, and the apartment building would work, the answer is reasonable. I need to take after my gran, who uses her bike like hell. Right now I live 5000000 km, OK, 10 bus minutes, from the city. And the air is lethal.)

On average, how far do you go by motorbike each week (as a driver or passenger)?
-0 km
(I've gone 20 m on a motorbike in me life, and Joaquin never picks me up on his. :O )

On average, how far do you go by car each week (as a driver or passenger)?
-0 km
(IRL I REALLY need to drive... as good as never. :D If I ever buy a car, fecking shoot me. Unless I join a big car pool, or get one because my FANCY JOB REQUIRES it. If I then use it in unnecessary = non-professional situations, SHOOT ME! Expensive buggers they are, too.)

Do you bicycle, walk, or use animal power to get around?
-Most of the time
(Some exercise wouldn't kill me... It depends on how far that perfect eco-village/cosy apartment would be from town, though.)

Approximately how many hours do you spend flying each year?
-Never fly
(I mean... because... NativeEnergy... can sustain us until... the planes can run on bio-fuel or the BOAT AND TRAIN ARE RE-INVENTED! WHY THE FECK IS THERE NO BOAT BETWEEN GOTHENBURG AND ANYWHERE NEAR LONDON?! I'm talking technical possibilities here. Actually, I'm thinking about trying to take the train/bus instead of plane to France next year, at least one way. :D What an adventure. Not to mention... er... New Zealand. DAMN CHEAP FLIGHTS! I can't wait for 1000 kmph vacuum tunnel hover trains to be developed. My classmate mentioned 'em.)
--------------------------------------------
OMFG IT COULD WORK! According to the test... and me... EVERYBODY could be comfy. Comfier if there were fewer people.

WTF! Just read The future of life by Edward O. Wilson. He says it all better than I do. I can lend ya this motivating book.

The quizmakers write:
"...some options that could make your Footprint smaller are not available to you as a result of choices on the part of local decision makers, such as reliable and efficient public transportation as an alternative to driving. Therefore, an important path to reducing your Footprint is to advocate for more sustainable decisions at all levels of government."
Indeed! :p *cheers on SNF*

~*~
Here be me holy pledge. Which is probably not enough, so... Beat me, to show me how. Beat me, you fat Westerners. And enlighten me. If I break my pledge, feed me to your 14 children.

~I will estimate my yearly greenhouse gas emissions and try to offset them.

~I will never fly domestic in Sweden (it's been a while, anyway...)

~I will support TNC's Rainforest Fund or the like at least until I can assume they've received enough to save an area as large as my ecological arse-print (a handful of hectares at the mo, probably)... asap. And UNICEF if possible.

~I will constantly be a member of an environmental organisation

~I will not buy my own fossil-fueled car for non-professional purposes

~I will buy organic and/or locally produced food & clothes (plus 2nd hand clothes) as often as reasonably possible (that means, unless they cost 100 000 000, taste/look exactly like poo or do not exist)

~I will not take my mobile phone, TV, VCR, camera or computer to the scrap heap until they die of natural causes... Sell them, mayhap. (It would not surprise me if everybody already does this :p but at least my folks are fond of throwing away functioning objects. :p ) I hope they get recycled efficiently from the scrap heap.

~I will not leave the TV or comp in stand-by mode (DVD and VCR switch themselves off... or do they?!)

~I will recycle

~I will not subscribe to the morning paper (My folks do and I am addicted now, but when I move I will quit and read it online, or read the free city papers before giving those back to... society. When I was da paper-girl, I beheld ~365 morning papers... every day)

~I will use low-energy lamp bulbs (at least in my room, for now...)

~I will cook loads and rarely rather than a little every day

~I will never eat meat, eggs or milk (unless, you know, I crash in the Andes or something...! :)

~I will always vote environmental

~I will produce no offspring

~I will bequeath (sp) all that I own to charity (HAHA, WON'T BE MUCH! THERE WON'T BE MUCH LEFT TO SAVE EITHER! XC )

McDeath don't want to be contacted concerning the environment

It could simply be my comp... But I just attempted to send American McD a damn nice email containing a MASSIVE ENVIRONMENTAL TIP. *COUGH* Only saying how the production of 1 unit of processed animal protein demands 6-20 times more fossil fuel that the production same amount of processed plant protein, so maybe they should go easy on the... ( http://www.hsus.org/web-files/PDF/farm/gve.pdf , page 9, botttttttom)

A link that looks like it conceals the right McD email addy leads to an "OOOOOOOOPS THIS PAGE DOES NOT EXIST WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!!!", and their fill-in form freezes Explorer.

OMFG, that is beautifully prejudice-confirming.

If the shite works for you, I'll ask you to send my message for me plzthanx. I shall try at school... one day...

Fluffy green leftovers

Sorry I have not blogged for two months...! Ehehehe. At first I did not feel I had the time and then I was too tense about the upcoming exam and then I did not want to get sucked into cyberspace for eternity. Originally I had 600 topics piled up, I have now forgotten half of them and cannot be arsed to treat many of the rest. So they will not even join the digital disaster.

OK, I got some good Alan shite for Xmas:

• Rasputin on DVD! OMG! I had been looking for it for two years... Nice movie! :B Ohhhhhhhh, Alan, I'm in heaven and it's hotter than HELL!
• The Essential Shakespeare Live. 11 minutes of Alan in As you like it... exactly 20 years ago, minus 3 days! *nostalgic* Not that I saw the play. X'C

Two conversations out of my class, which, as usual, sounded much better IRL - December 2005, conservation seminar flying free as a passenger pigeon (also preferable IRL, but extinct):

E: We must teach the kids to recycle, step by tiny step!
B: We have to INFILTRATE them!
E: That's why we should all become Kindergarten teachers...
M: Rilly, I wasn't going to have kids in this shite world, but then my friend said *I* should have them and not just some moron! *I* should spread my environmentalist habits!
T: Wow, your friend has a good grasp of evolutionary theory.
M: The weird thing is, he's like this total HUMANIST!
Z: OMG!
E: We could adopt kids to pass on our habits.
M: Adopt the morons' kids.
E: Is there an age limit? Cuz if not, you can adopt the morons.
Class: *starts talking about crazy swede who adopted 40-yo indian*
--------------------------------------------
M: I can buy up carbon dioxide emission quotas? Where?! :D
Z: *COUGH* http://www.snf.se/ *COUGH*
M: And THEN, 40 years from now, when their value has gone WAY up, and I'm on my deathbed and childless, I can sell them for much more! 'Course... I won't be able to do anything with my profit... Yes! I can buy heroin for it all! Btw, seriously, if I ever get cancer I'll start doing heroin, it's supposed to be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sweet! Though it would be tough if the cancer turned out to be some benign kinda skin cancer that could just be SCRAPED OFF!!! ROTF!!!

Note: Sadly, there will be little 2045 heroin for this bloke. I purchased an emission quota and they last only two years. :/ That is still nice I guess. (I gave it to my dad for Xmas, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

But the idea of deathbed heroin is nice! I had heard it before. I was kind of going to... Mmmm, heroin... (Or Nick/Alan/Joaquin/Brad could just pop in...) But that was of course before I realised I wanted to burn all my leftover $$ on rainforest and stuff! Here's what I will do - I shall steal a kid's heroin. Saving the kid, saving more rainforest, enjoying my deathbed. Weeeee, win-win-win.

Unless, of course, the deforestation continues at the present rate, in which case it will all be gone in, what, 40 years??? and I will have to find out the second best alternative. SIGH, I HOPE GOOGLE WILL KNOW IT!!! Heck, anyway, it could happen way before then, if the forests collapse at certain critical sizes. X'C

I am reading the inspiring-depressing-nerve-wracking The future of life by Edward O. Wilson at the mo. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAWD!!! READ IT!!!

*represses a few dark misanthropic forbidden thoughts which might get me thrown off blogger and that would be a drag would it not*

Not counting all the nerdy, subjective ethical reasons, saving this shite would be easy *COUGH*reasoneducationcondomsveggiesandstuff*COUGH*, necessary and profitable for us, anyway. The question is... WILL THEY FIND OUT IN TIME?!

Goddamn, I'm angry, as my platitude-squirting bro would say. Having feelings sure sucks.

I'm a bad environmentalist too. According to my own ethics or whatever, I should kill myself, but... here I am... waiting for... um... Harry Potter 7! Yup! I will try to buy up my own eco-footprint in the meantime! :p At least! Cheaper for vegs. And third-worlders. On average.
Speaking of death, today I almost had a heart attack because...

GAG...

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

PANT PANT PANT...

GASP...

Elijah Wood is going to be at the scifi con in March!
Now...

• Elijah is not my favourite actor of all time
• Brad is my favourite LOTR actor
• Sean Astin cancelled last minute last year, so I'm not getting any silly hopes up
• 50 000 000 people will camp outside the con because of Elijah
• I will lose studying time
• I will lose money
• I will lose my dignity
• I will lose my dignity again as I move on to the next celeb
• I will perhaps lose my dignity a third time
• I'm a Pothead, you know

Sure Elijah is among my favourites, and I was quite sweet on him 4 years ago, but half the heart attack was, I'd say, from surprise! :D I would not have thought OUR little con would get such a GIANT so SOON! I think I saw him on the guest list of Collectormania in the UK and said to my buddy "Look, at least Elijah visits cons, and in Europe too, what if he comes to Sweden" but I didn't believe he would! YAY!!!
Oh, and Gawd, if he cancels, replace him with NICK or BRAD plzthanx.

The Gothenburg Film Festival starts today. I haven't gone there since 2001, but now I'm seeing one Brad movie (The Wild Blue Yonder), one Thewlis movie (All the invisible children) and one horse movie (Zaïna, rider of the Atlas). :) THE Joaquin movie was sold out. Oh, it will run in such a nice cinema... :p Well, I was just trying to decide whether I should see an Elijah movie too, I guess I will now... Research and all, ya know... damdidamdidam... It looks funny and the festival tix are kinda cheap and what if I can never find it later in life...

FUNNY, I forgot to mention the exam. "He is evil" echoed through the corridors the next day. The exams have not yet been returned. I suppose they are working their way through mine - a mess of gut feeling and stress. Rhyme. They must either be in therapy or trying not to die from laughter. X'C

I've also quit da horseriding for the time being. Pretty good place, but I am sated at present, fecking climate, OMG other people, walking is exercise too, and the money could be better spent. Hehe... I used to mentally convert all money into DVD's, now it's London and... its opposite. :B

Finger that mouse every day!

Make ClickAndSave your starting page and click on SOMETHING every day! DO IT!!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!! DO IT!!! CLICK!!!

And my new e-mail addy is ratexla_kettleburn83@planet-save.com :B *re-reads* Ah... Finally my luv for Nick & Alan will be nakedly obvious to anyone who wants to communicate with me, while 5 square feet of rainforest are saved by each e-mail I send! 8O GET YOUR OWN PLANET-SAVE ADDY, PWETTY PLEASE WITH SAP ON TOP! :x

With luck, the sites are true AND the laws protecting the saved pieces have TEETH.

OK, I've been growing sick of myself again and figured I could sweep up the great(est) number of species with each click if I found a, ahem, well-known and trustworthy rainforest charity. That old treehugger is blooming under the spell of my current uni course. We are told/reminded of horrible truths every day. If I had trouble sleeping, I... wouldn't sleep.

I want to drown my sorrows in films.

The Lawd: "Yoze, I have come to inform you that the world is totally fecked."
Yoze: "I know. I just traded in my left lung for a square centimetre of lichen in Brazil. I'm watching Closet Land to dull the pain here."
The Lawd: "YOZE, THE WORLD IS TOTALLY FECKED!"
Yoze: "Dude, are you deaf?"
The Lawd: "YOU MUST RIDE OUT AND [censored] MANKIND! OR AT LEAST TURN OFF THE TV! AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU SOLD CLOSET LAND YET?! OMFG IT'S PLASTIC TOO!"
Yoze: *scutter*

Exam question: "This is wee Sweden. What do you think should be done with the land?"
Them Rangers: "Shag Bill Gates. Buy Sweden. Release a few cloned mammoths. Shoot them if they eat more than 20% of the trees."

Biology (like fluffy animals, slimy animals and Alan) and the arts (like paperbacks and popcorn flicks and Alan) are the things I enjoy most at the mo. :)