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Friday, May 23, 2008

"Elin and Indiana Jones"

~Indiana Jones / Rescuers Down Under fanfic thingy
~Also starring: the cool alter egos of my buddy and me, our imaginary horses, &c.
~Written in 1993 + maybe later
~Translated tonight
~By: Ratexla

One day when Elin and Millan were with Marahoo*, creaking sounds were heard from the forest. Mara and Blackie, who were their horses, got scared and whinnied.

- Did you hear something, Indy?
- Yes.
- We have to check what it is!
- What if it's a snake?!
- No. Come on now.

When Elin and Millan saw the two dark shadows they cried for Help!!!

- There they are! Indiana Jones roared.
- Marahoo, said Elin and patted Marahoo, now you gotta help us. Cover up the eggs.

Marahoo covered up the eggs.

- Now take one man in each claw and drop them in the creek.

Marahoo did as Elin had said. One of the men, James Bond, got water in his lungs and died. Marahoo ate him. Indiana Jones drifted towards the little waterfall. Elin and Millan didn't notice anything. They were re-sewing James Bond's clothes into sleeping bags and cases. Suddenly an ensanguined** and wet Indy stood before them.

- We're here shooting a film. You're not supposed to be here. In a short while I and the director will come and get the bird. Good bye.

Elin and Millan stared. They had to hide Marahoo and the eggs! Elin got to load the eggs into a box and tuck them in as warmly as she could and Millan packed food. And so they took off and flew southeast, towards Gotland. Down below they saw Indy and the director.

- You're standing half a metre from a snake pit, just so you know! Elin yelled.

Indy roared with horror, but it was just a woodlouse pit.

Elin, Millan and Marahoo were having a great time. It was May 17*** already and the sun was shining. After a few hours they saw a black stripe on the horizon. GOTLAND!!!

They settled down in a forest a few kilometres from Katthammarsvik. Elin recognised a farm. She and Millan had stayed there a few weeks each summer when they were little. Here they would remain until Indy could be assumed to have given up. They started building a hut right away. Then Marahoo wanted food. She found some dead rabbits. Elin lit a fire to keep away mosquitoes and the cold. Then they fell asleep under Marahoo's wings.

The next morning it was totally windless and +33.9 degrees Celsius. Marahoo signed that Elin and Millan had to go to the beach alone, because she had to guard the eggs. Elin and Millan protested, but eventually they went.

The water was freezing but nice and Elin and Millan dove among the giant waves that the warm winds**** brought with them. Suddenly they saw Marahoo writing in the sand and they ran there. "Indy has come here!"

They jumped onto Marahoo and flew to the eggs. They packed them and took off. Suddenly they heard the rattle of a helicopter. All 3 panicked and the girls held on tight, to the strap holding the egg box, as Marahoo dove*****. Indy's pilot (it was of course Indy) couldn't keep up. At last the helicopter disappeared across the Baltic Sea. The relief was great and Marahoo did a few extra flaps of glee.

But back by Marahoo's cave the Indy and the police were waiting. And Marahoo snuck up on them from behind, slowly - then she rushed up and bit their heads off. Happily smacking she ate them, while two equally happy girls put the eggs back into the nest. Now all problems were solved.

Or so they thought. The next day, a police officer came and wondered if they had seen his colleagues.

- No, Millan said. People hardly ever walk here, because there are no paths.
- Oh, said the police officer. Then I'll have to do it the hard way from the start. You're said to have a valuable bird here, according to Harrison Ford. And don't try to deny it.
- Yeah, maybe, said Elin calmly and fetched Marahoo.
- If you say ONE word about her, she might use these, said Millan and knocked on Marahoo's big sharp claws. Besides, no one can catch her. She can go anywhere she wants, so high that no one can see her. To Antarctica, north Africa, Canada, Russia or Australia. Or Iceland. Give up your search, please.

The officer sighed. Then he left.

Officer Hansen tore open the door of the police commissioner's office. The commissioner was sitting in there with coffee and a coconut pastry******.

- Excuse me, but... I've found the bird. It's huge! But it would be a shame to kill it. Can't we...
- Listen to me for a bit. There are three eggs in the nest. Get it!
- Eggs? Eggs, you say?! We have to raise the chicks and start a farm! Think of all the money!

The commissioner's mouth watered at the thought of the future and all the omelettes with tender slices of eagle meat. After filling his belly he could contently fall asleep on an eagle skin pillow stuffed with golden down.

- They've got horses there, officer Hansen said suddenly. Two ponies.
- To hell with them! screamed the commissioner cheerily. Let's go.

When they got there, Elin and Millan were saddling up Mara and Blackie. Luckily Marahoo had hidden herself and the eggs. Taken a private flight to the mountains, so to speak.

- Hrm, the commissioner started. Out with the bird!!
- Oh, that! Elin said. It's right there!

She pointed at a magpie that had just settled down in a juniper bush.

- Actually I meant the giant eagle! the commissioner snarled.

Elin turned away and unnoticably pulled a small onion from her pocket. She poked a hole in it with her fingernail and rubbed some juice under her eyes and sniffled. Then she said sadly:

- She's dead.. she flew away to look for food... but... then we heard a shot... and a scream... when we got there, she was already dead... and then a man came and picked up the eggs...
- Are we supposed to believe that? the commissioner wondered. But then he changed his mind. Both the little lassies were weeping so heart-wrenchingly...

- We should have understood that, he said. Then he left.

The next day, Marahoo came back.



*Fucking awesome giant eagle and my main obsession from that Rescuers Down Under movie.
**Ey, cool word.
****Not so windless all of a sudden!
*****Eagle not dove, dumbass.
*******I had never seen this word in me life.

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