22 Billion Triggah Happy Monkeys = image collection

+If you would like to use any photo outside your own computer or wall, please ask me first! Thank you! :) E-mail: yoze83@yahoo.com
+Most of the photos were taken by me. The rest are used with permission... pretty much ;B
+Some links do not yet exist, because: a) Yahoo Photos died on 20-Sep-07, b) I'm waiting for my Webshots account to grow, c) I hate Kodak Gallery. Luckily, no one will miss anything. :D

NON-HUMAN ANIMALS
+Various animals
+Invertebrates
+Various dogs
+Ellen the cairnterrier
+Various horses
+Arabian show in Munkedal (21-Jul-2002)
+Gothenburg Horse Show 2003
+Gothenburg Horse Show 2005
+Icelandic horses competing in Säve, Sweden (4-Sep-2005)
+Ponies jumping in Billdal, Sweden (12-Mar-2006)
+Sören, feline friend
+Zorro, cat cousin
+Birds
+Corpses
+Dissection of spiny dogfish

NATURE & PLACES
+Sweden
+Lake Louise & other spots in Banff NP, Canada
+Vancouver, Canada
+Norway
+Gotland, Sweden
+London, England
+Paris, France
+Glasgow, Edinburgh & Stirling, Scotland
+Tallinn, Estonia
+Stockholm, official capital of Sweden
+Plants
+Fungi, lichens & various aliens
+Micro

SHRINE
+Almost meaningless album unless you're a Nicholas Lea fan
+"Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban" London premiere
+"Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" London premiere
+"Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix" premieres in London & Gothenburg
+Robbie Williams live in Stockholm 2003
+Robbie Williams live in Gothenburg 2006
+Celebrity collection

RANDOM
+Vegan cuisine
+My art
+Light of night
+Seen downtown
+Boats
+Yoze galore
+Yoze World

Incredibly Great Summer 2006 Accomplishments

I did one o' these chronicles for the summer of 2004 too... So I'm gonna steal the idea from myself once more. WTF did I get "done"? (Oh, and does "chronicle" imply "chronological order"? HAHAHAHA! XD )

~Bought a new Canon cam, 6 Mpixels instead of 2!
~Shot horses at jumping competitions... AYE, CAM!
~Bought light little trainers
~Shot insects
~Edited 47524520485206820968204682056 photos
~Shot horses at mounted games competitions
~Made poor online insect album
~Online:d some of my old diaries
~Read An awfully big adventure by Beryl Bainbridge
~Read Horse heaven by Jane Smiley
~Read Moby Dick by Herman Melville
~Read Go ask Alice by anonymous author (Best book on this list)
~Read The tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Brontë
~Read Ryttare: Tommy Nilsson by Martin Lund
~Read Lady Chatterley's lover by D.H. Lawrence
~Read Naiv. Super. by Erlend Loe
~Read Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
~Read About a boy by Nick Hornby
~Read To build a fire by Jack London
~Read Holy smoke by Anna & Jane Campion (Worst book on this list)
~Read The picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
~Found effective, aluminium-free, vegan, non-animal tested deodorant *COUGH* Aroma Creme from Lush *COUGH*
~Visited Bohuslän
~Visited Tallinn, Estonia
~Visited Norway
~Celebrated Nick Lea's b-day...
~...by starting on Diary 30, the pwettiest ever, designed by Lo! (:B
~Saw The da Vinci code
~Saw Tristan & Isolde
~Sang with Robbie, and some other people
~Saw Ronan Keating live at the opening ceremony of the Euro-champs stuff :p
~Was an extra in the movie Mustafa/Massimo for one day = several scenes :D which earned me 100 SEK and possibly a place in art history (:B
~Raced around with thousands of morning papers
~Ate more fibre
~Visited Glasgow, Edinburgh & Stirling, Scotland. :B Monkeys just got updated... :p

I stayed at the Euro Hostel in Glasgow which was neat, once I had figured out that the showers actually COULD produce water above the temperature of a genuine autumn Highland loch! :9

On the first day I went for a getting-lost walk and got lost in the ghetto. I only saw 2 streets in that city worth visiting (for over-shopping, of course)... and the lovely Necropolis... and maybe the cathedral. All this could be done in one day, so I no longer see the point of Glasgow. Except it's where the planes land, and one might want to revisit Necropolis (massive romantic graveyard on hill!) in a more romantic ghostly light than friendly morning sun. :q

Perhaps the point of Glasgow would be clearer to me if I had ever bothered to sniff out the famous West End, which was off my map :O but I didn't.

I had already decided to take some bus to Edinburgh and worship Greyfriars Bobby and stalk Alan, who probably left town very soon after the Snowcake premiere. Even though My name is Rachel Corrie now ran, which was why I could hope... But I didn't see him anywhere... near the theatre... :B or anywhere else! But I did find Bobby's statue, *sniff* his grave, *BAWL* a miniature statue to take home, *finger* and Bobby's Bar, *slurp* where I imbibed a goblet of Spriteandlemonwithice. Since ~1998 I have dreamed of brooding in a wee brown Scottish pub. Of living in a whisky ad. :B

I happened to know Simple Minds would play in Edinburgh that day, but for various reasons I didn't go... Maybe I should have... I had even brought ear plugs "just in case I stumble over a Texas concert or summat"! I saw the stage in a park... from the bus back to Glasgow. D'oh! I missed a free concert they gave in Gothenburg only weeks ago. Mrrrr. Not that I've heard much of their music... But I will, hehe.

The buses from Edinburgh to Glasgow departed every 10 minutes, it seemed, which is bizarrely more often than the buses go from my home to the damn mall. Or anything. :p

On post-Edinburgh day and my last day of Scotland (I spent the last night at the airport, hehe) I had indeed planned to sniff out the West End or at least relax in the Botanic Gardens or summat, but I felt the smooth bus net calling once more. I checked the map for a hilly, close-by, neat place to go, and Stirling seemed to fit. I went there, crossed half the town (or, more probably, loads LESS), map-free, and suddenly the town ended and I had a free view of... the gate to the Highlands, as I later read in the guide book. I shot the Highlands with as many adorable sun-spots as possible, and went a little closer to the Wallace monument.

GUESS WHAT, under normal circumstances I would be soooo anxious to watch Braveheart right now... Well, I am... but I know how DISTURBED I would be every time ye-know-who came on screen... now. *POW* Anyone able to fit my DVD player with a de-Mel-iser? Wonder if he's going to apologise and mean it? +O~~~

*runs finger down back of yummy trainspotting dvd case... and harry pottah will also come in handy*

Paper-girlin

Now, my children, I shall tell you all about one's life as a morning paper-girl driving someone else's car in a famously big district.

They called me up on July 3, just as I had started to find inner peace about not having a summer job in 2006 either even though I tried this year, lazy-looking bahstahd, and offered me a large district close to my home, though I had never seen any of the streets in my life. July 24 - August 26. It would, sadly, require a car, to which I had claimed to have access. Aye. I asked my dad again before accepting, he said I might use it, and the thing was settled. :D

A couple of days later dad realised that it was a car district, not just a place so far away that I would need the car to get there. :p Haha, too late for him to take back his promise. Forgive us, car.

I went to an info meeting, rode with the regular paper-girl for two days and drove around the streets myself as many times. She shares the district with another person, I don't! :p

Regular paper-girl: "...so I'm just waiting to find a hole in my exhaust pipe from all these curbs. You drive that big Volvo, no? Not as easy to turn as this little car, I suppose... and Volvos have such low chassis too."
Yoze: "Ehehehe... oh yeah? It's not my car, either."
Regular paper-girl: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

:S

On my first day the papers were dumped late, and I was missing 3 bunches. Ouch. Had to pick them up later. I was at it from 3.30 to... somewhere near 8 that day. All the papers are supposed to be delivered at 6. This rarely happens even on the best of days, since I'm COUGH alone COUGH. :p

On the 3rd day or so on my own, I was at least starting to learn behind which bush every friggin letterbox was hidden, so I didn't have to get out/reverse as much as on the first day. However, there is still a LOT of UNNECESSARY getting out of the car to do. Evil subscribers place their letterboxes 4000 km from the street (when in most cases they could put them within reach of the car window). This is not easy on my:

~Planet (killing the engine is rarely worthwhile)
~Transmission
~Car door
~Customers' neighbours' sleep (for reason, see above point - but I suppose the Evil Subscribers really desire to be awakened by flapping car doors)
~Left elbow (which gets torn outta joint every time I close the door, now, so I've started closing this left door with my right hand, yup)
~Customers down-district (whose paper gets delayed, which probably gets blamed on GUESS WHOM!)

The evilness of Evil Subscribers (OK, some of whom are probably just thoughtless, but then, how come so many of them got through med school, judging from their med mag subscriptions? Hey, maybe they want to treat our elbows) is brilliantly illustrated by a story that Regular Paper-Girl told me on my first training day. The people on [CENSORED] [CENSORED] Street have placed a row of skull-sized white rocks sufficiently far outside their letterbox to prevent our cars getting near it. Those rocks must be REALLY GREAT IN THE SNOW! *SCREEEEEEEEEECH* *BOINK* The subscriber had the rock problem/s pointed out to him by our employer. Would he move a few rocks so the paper people wouldn't have to get out of the car? His reply was:

"Some lazy paper-girls you've got!"

8O~

OK, they've glued my exploded head back together now. One day I will calculate how many % of the letterboxes can't (easily) be reached from the car...

Anyway, I'm so never going to accept another car district... :p At least not more than once a week or summat. But next summer I'm sooooooo gonna ask if they need someone for a walking-district. That would be sweeeeeeeeeeeet! *sniffs sweet summer night air & roedeer*

A few more scary bits of the job are:

~The number of wheels I have damaged severely. (2)
~The potential amount of CATS I MIGHT SERIOUSLY... MASH! :O They've seemed afraid enough of the car so far. *rhyme* PHEW... KNOCK ON WOOD, TWO MORE DAYS... I can't drive slowly either! This morning, for example, I was in Cat Mash Mode and it took me pretty much exactly 3 hours, now that all the subscribers are back from their holidays, which meant I couldn't hand out all the papers before the magical 6am. Death.

To make things better, or not, my salary arrived today! :B It was much better than I thought, too... Mmm, hey, rainforests & London...

~*~

Tomorrow, I depart. Not for London. But for GLASGOW! Alone in a completetly strange place. I TOLD YA! The sun trips turned out to be more expensive than I thought, but I had to go somewhere... besides Norway... especially now that I had told everyone I was going away alone, little cheeky bahstahd.