& now... we shall dangle Sincerity off a cliff.

The following post is fucking confused and probably confusing.

Last few months, I've been letting simmer thoughts about, um, Sincerity. I incidentally became obsessed with Nine Inch Nails around the time I joined Facebook. Trent seems to be all about sincerity, and on Facebook I wrote shit that my classmates (Facebook allies) had no previous idea of, which might change their perception of me (as if the risk of their reading + giving a shit + minding is great...) and kiiiiiiill them with shock. I'm not saying I have become a clear blue, table-dancing Goblet of Sincerity. Just simmering going on, mostly. Minor experiments, maybe.

There was once a lovely, unfindable TV series called Once a thief.

Once a thief char: "Wow... Honesty is... refreshing!"

The sensation of...
a) exposing myself to pieces of perceived reality from which I would normally shy away for simplicity's sake... (Trent has spoken of watching certain movies "to be disturbed"...)
b) speaking my mind where once I would have shut up for reasons of immediate comfort... (Trent never let the label have their way with him...)
...resembles that of letting a train or ocean wave hit me. :q

When I think of a) here I think mostly of visual media, because I am not so intensely brainwashed that I wish to... uh, do anything about my arachnophobia, go to war, look people in the eyes or listen to them eating bananas. Some phenomena in front of which I could throw myself:

-E.T.! Aye! Hard to watch. E.T. represents all that is innocent, oppressed and abused. XC
-The alternative version of the Into the void video by Nine Inch Nails. :D
-The shining. Maybe I should quit running for tea every time the rotting woman comes on.
-Earthlings. Not that I need motivation, not that it's a feel-good docu, but I have decided to watch this some time soon. Just so you don't have to wonder... in case you wake up without a universe one day.
-Negative environmental news
-Bush speeches

Enough exposure to heavy shit such as the above might result in, I dunno, being swept off my feet? Panic attacks? Nothing? Shrinkological defense walls going BOINGGGGGGG? Walls crumbling?

:) :( Could be interesting, or not.

On to b).

Once a thief again.
Mac: "'Victor, Victor...' What do you SEE in that guy?"
Li Ann: "He's... honest."
Mac: "That is SO overrated."
Li Ann: "Yeah. All my life I've lived in a world where honesty was for idiots. And being with Victor is like... being in daylight for the first time."

Awwww. Ohhhh. Well. Spring sun picnics are nice. But I do love me shades and me baseball cap and my night-coloured garments.

SOME reasons why one I "can't" be constantly sincere (well, I could try, one always has a choice, just that one alternative is sometimes death and/or eternal shame):

-It might be defamation
-It might be abetment
-That's not how brainwashing works (and that's just too bad because my marketing book is not an amazing pageturner). Hehe, saying "that's not how X works" sounds like you know yer stuff well, no closer explanations needed. :D
-It might be a fucking long story where it would not help to start with "I know what this looks like, but..." because people still get mentally blocked and hysterical and shake their pitchforks and cannot be bothered to read the 4 pages of philosophy that could explain all perfectly and why would they risk wasting their time since everyone thinks they should read up on Everyone's respective philosophies
-I may not have thought things through (not being the finest, smartest and most logical of philosophers). History shows I can *gasp* change my little mind. You know it's better to shut up and let people believe you're an idiot, than to -
-I am so severely media-damaged, Jante-ridden, philosophy-bombed, clueless of who I am, data-missing, detail-fixated, unsure of WTF "who" means, and prejudiced that I cannot be sure if some opinions are really mine, or optimal for me, or utilitaristically correct WTF I THINK.
-Obviously the issue may not be important anyway

Magazine: "What do you do for a living?"
Trent: "Peel back the skin and show people what's underneath."

(Nine Inch Nails-Induced Terminator Flashback #2.) Loads of skin-peeling going on. And what's underneath? I spy a rather nice strong shiny metal endoskeleton, at the end of the day. If I, on the other hand, were to peel off too much of my skin -

Planet of shit... Facebook closes down in horror... :B

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The shrinkological defense walls. I wonder if mine are unusually thick or thin or neither. Seen signs of both "extremes". And I wonder what it would be like without walls. There's got to be a mental illness caused by their absence. Maybe that's -

They are undoubtedly useful, but I'd like to demolish some of them. Working on it. (You should try it.) With a little plastic hammer.

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Just sayin.